I want my ex back..

[ju1ie]

Julie, awesome smile in profile picture. Is that you? Is it? If so then you can easly find a good guy. Just give one of these smiles to the guy you like and talk a bit. .

Yes, yes it is me. Thanks for the compliments! I appreciate the nice words!

[ju1ie]

if your tempted to contact him-come here for advice so we can stop you. If he contacts you-come here so we can stop you replying. Hes a douchbag. Hes showing his true colors now and his behaviour is disgusting. If my bf dumped me to "play the field" id lose ALL respect for him and think "this is not the man i fell in love with so i dont want him back"

We mourn every loss and then we move on. I know its cliche but time really does heal all wounds and you need no contact

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Yeah, he is very vain. I found out from someone who went to a party of his recently last month that he was passing around his phone showing everyone how much i text him etc and how his texts are only one worded words; and he had one of my ex best friend's read my texts that i sent to him.He definitely changed for the worse. beyond worse! Turns out, He's "talking" to someone who has a daughter etc. I'm beyond hurt. I hope I can get past this. Thank you for the support though! I have 0 expectations that he will contact me, call me, or try to see me *shakes head* Its such a damn shame!

PS. To make matters worse, I haven't F**** anyone since he moved out in August or since i caught him cheating (after he had been sleeping with me for a month) when I walked in on him and the first rebound he was with! I guess that doesn't mean anything (I guess my faithfulness even after the breakup didn't mean anything) I'm beyond hurt and angry.

[michelle23]

Well maybe you should. Not f**k someone. But go out on a few casual dates, flirt, have some fun.. itl boost your confidence a little and distract you from all this bollox but DONT get involved sexually or romantically. Your vulnerable right now and need to heal first..

His low self esteem explains a lot. Hes an insecure twit who uses women to validate and stroke his tiny ego. And him slagging you off shows how immature he is. Dont worry about it. Most people will think hes the tool-not you..

And i bet a handful of his friends think hes a muppet for how he treated you. Bet theyd love a chance with you.. revenge plot maybe?? just joking btw..

But seriously your worth more and you are really pretty btw

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[ju1ie]

Well maybe you should. Not f**k someone. But go out on a few casual dates, flirt, have some fun.. itl boost your confidence a little and distract you from all this bollox but DONT get involved sexually or romantically. Your vulnerable right now and need to heal first..

His low self esteem explains a lot. Hes an insecure twit who uses women to validate and stroke his tiny ego. And him slagging you off shows how immature he is. Dont worry about it. Most people will think hes the tool-not you..

And i bet a handful of his friends think hes a muppet for how he treated you. Bet theyd love a chance with you.. revenge plot maybe?? just joking btw..

But seriously your worth more and you are really pretty btw

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Thanks! Yeah, I think I need to be alone for awhile cause i think I would be tempted to be "dependent" on someone and I don't wanna do that. I need to heal me first, do me, and focus on myself. Casual dating hasn't even crossed my mind. I need to learn to be alone for awhile...before i can even think about even casual dating.

[michelle23]

Thats good have fun with your friends so. Get all dolled up and go clubbing or to a karioke bar. Do things that make you laugh. You can still come home and scream into your pillow or cry all night if you need to but try to live your life. Surround yourself with positive things and people. Join some hobbies, make new friends, get promoted or study a new topic. You will be fine. It just takes time. He wasnt the right one and theres someone better out there for you when your ready to be found..

Btw i agree with your friends. Hell have his rebounds and then realize hes f**ked up. He likely will come back and you need to be prepared to tell him where to go if/when he does. No second chances

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[ju1ie]

if your. If my bf dumped me to "play the field" id lose ALL respect for him and think "this is not the man i fell in love with so i dont want him back"

We mourn every loss and then we move on. I know its cliche but time really does heal all wounds and you need no contact

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Michelle, I was thinking about your comment above for the past few days, and I've realized my ex used the f***** up bullshit excuses. that "I FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH YOU""WE'RE NOT MENTALLY ON THE SAME WAVE LENGTH " "WE DON'T MENTALLY OR INTELLECTUALLY CLICK " "I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU" as all pretty much excuses to get out, do him (and deep down, I.think he wanted to "play the field " and screw whatever girl he wants... but couldn't tell me that to my face.

[michelle23]

Well of course he did coz thats what hes doing!! Asshole! You deserve better then some insecure twit like him.

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[4 ratties]

He's an asshole hanging out with bitches. He's very shady in my opinion. You can do so much better. Never contact him again.

[moneyspills]

In order to get him back in your arms you have to first get your emotions under control. Losing the man you love is likely the hardest thing you've ever faced and your emotions are showing it. Crying endlessly, feeling depressed and wanting to hide out from the world are all common emotions women experience at a time like this. You need to learn how to harness all of that emotion. One of the biggest mistakes you can make right now is showing him that you're so emotional. Most men just aren't comfortable being around someone who is that emotional. If he sees or hears you acting that way he's going to label you as unstable and desperate. Once that happens it's even more challenging to get him back. Bite back the tears, put a smile on your face and appear to be okay. This will help you to show him that you're strong and stable.

[moneyspills]

He's an asshole hanging out with bitches. He's very shady in my opinion. You can do so much better. Never contact him again.

You are right

[ju1ie]

yeah, that's the last thing I wanna come off as (desperate and unstable )...I'm trying to get past those emotions so staying really busy and working my a$$ off at work, and it seems to help alot. Thank you everyone else, for your advice and support. it means alot .to me.

[woody]

Ok I'll try to make this long story short as much as i can....Please be kind (as my heart is still broken and tender from the breakup). My ex and I broke up in August after being together for 6.5 years so (on his birthday he moved out and moved in with his bff and at the time my bff) His bff and my ex bff are dating.....so when my ex got his own place....he came back to me and for a month we had sex, kept seeing each other every weekend etc....then at the end of the month, (although we are still broken up) his bff spent the night with him and i basicallly caught him sleeping with another girl (that appeared that they just got done having sex) so the following week after i caught him he rebounded to some young 21 that pursued him at the bar and they were together for a month...then after his rebound dumped him for another man....we started talking again....and then a friend of mine who is friends with him on facebook sent me a status of his that said: Goodbye POF....I found the rarest rose you hae to offer and you have nothing more for me ....Life will lead the way naturally from here" so I when I text him and confront him about it, he basically said that the post was about getting rid of a dating site because its BS and that he was not currently seeing anyone....


So fast forward to this past weekend....I couldn't sleep so i randomly text him to see how his thanksgiving was and if he was still up, so he calls me (drunk) and wants me to pick him up, (he told me he was at his parents-that lives 30 minutes away from where i live) and well I guess i misunderstood him or misheard him and turns out he was in the town where i was at, and then this unknown woman (who turns out to be married with 4 kids) gets on his phone and basically tells me : GO HOME!!! B shouldn't be contacting you or calling you. He is seeing someone else!!! GO HOME!!! Then she hangs up on me... Then when I get back to the city, he kept calling and calling me (during the times i answered there were times i just got dead air on the other end) SO finally when i answered his last call, he thought i was avoiding him.....and he still wanted me to pick him up but he was so drunk he didn't know where he was at, and couldn't give me the address (the married woman didn't want me to come pick him up) so she took his phone away from him for the rest of the night, I search for him for 2.5 hours (cause prior to the woman taking his phone away...i had to reactivate my facebook to gps where he was at...but the address he thought he was at wasn't what gps was saying.....so i gave up....then the next day when I ask him if he got a ride home, he said yes...and so i call him if he can talk about what happened last night, and he said he's about to hop in the shower to get ready for the day...the married woman "friend" was with him and at his place....and so i text him telling him that I"m not mad or accusing him of anything....and that i care deeply about him (and what happens to him) and that i don't know why i'm scared of losing him and fighting for him when we aren't even together.....then I told him not to share my texts or show off my texts to anyone because its between us.. and that the only reason i text is because he leaves me no choice to since i can't talk to him face to face......and then,


I get a 2 page text (knowing its NOT him texting me this) that said:

You need to stop and leave me alone I am with another girl and she is amazing and so is her daughter
and she is the one for me...were done and you need to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Move on ur not the one for me
goodbye if you keep harassing me I will get a restraining order....



So i just respond back to his married womans "friend" text and said:

Ok that's all you had to say. I wish you two the best and I hope both of you are very happy together.
Glad you found the one for you.


Then 2 hours later, He finds out what his friend had done and text me saying:
I don't know ok.


So the last thing I texted him with was: ????? Call me later when ur ALONE I'm NOT texting anymore


So today he texts me saying: "A friend had my phone and typed that message yesterday, but yeah,
I have been "talking" to someone, but its nothing serious yet. Have a good day."

I didn't respond back to his message....I don't know what to do. I feel so confused and don't know what to believe. I'm scared to even text him at all because I don't know who he is hanging out with or who's hands his phone will end up in......I want him back, but I don't want to come off desperate and obsessive! I wanna leave the door open for him...but if his married friend didn't send that text, I don't think he would of told me he was talking to someone else and me at the same time.


PS. sorry this this so lengthy, and detailed...don't think there was any way to make it short (although i tried).

Thoughts anyone? what should i do???

Trying to be gentle but dear lady, sound like you may have to let this one go. You say you don't want to come off as desperate but this situation is making you just that. Not exactly what you had in mind is it.

Look, any person that truly digs another would not subject the other to any of that nonsense. Self respect. Find it again.

Well wishes for mending your broken heart.

[ju1ie]

Look, any person that truly digs another would not subject the other to any of that nonsense. Self respect. Find it again.

Well wishes for mending your broken heart.

yeah that's what I initially thought after his "unknown married woman friend " texted me that bullshit. I mean, I'm a firm believer in giving 2nd chances, but yeah I didn't deserve to be talked to like that from his "married friend " at all. I'm still pretty upset about it..

[woody]

yeah that's what I initially thought after his "unknown married woman friend " texted me that bullshit. I mean, I'm a firm believer in giving 2nd chances, but yeah I didn't deserve to be talked to like that from his "married friend " at all. I'm still pretty upset about it..

No you didn't deserve that. Was he even aware she was texting you or was he the one who asked her to and why is he with a married woman? Where is her husband?
Anyway, hope your well.
Sometimes people can be cowardly and avoid confrontation at all costs but from what your saying about this guy, yeah, your better off with one who will love and respect you and not screw around on you.
good luck

[anastasis]

Yeah, sounds like you got yourself a real loser. And you, being a typical woman, are, of course, hopelessly in love with him. Probably makes you feel better about yourself. You're not actually in love with him. You're in love with you first of all, and then you're in love with the idea of being in love, but mostly you're in fear of not being in love. That's what you have. Fear of not being in love. Fear of not being in love is what keeps driving you back to him. But that's not love. It's about you, not him. YOU. You love YOU. You're in love with YOU. And to be totally in love with YOU, YOU need a man to give you a perceived social status context. He's a context...for YOU.

Maybe you can 'save' him, right? And he's going to be in a relationship with YOU, right? Always has to be about you, doesn't it?

Pfft.. Why do I even type for this tripe...

You will never convince me that this is love, but you would convince me that at least 52% of all marriages are driven by this very motive. It's the same motive that leads to 52% of divorces. You got married because you fell in love with you. And you got divorced because you fell in love with you again with either another context for you, or an independant context for you. Whatever it is, it's going to be about you.