Staying friends

[inkeepingsecret]

It's not possible, if one of you has feelings for the other it's just going to put you through a lot of bullshit and pain.

yeah, in my experience, being friends with the ex doesnt work, especially if feelings are attached. Eventually, they will resurface.

- How annoying is that helicopter icon on RSKs name? When he made the "ding dong" comment i def thought it was kiechi.

Keichi, can you go play that game and recapture the title?

[clynn]

Lol...seems like you've suddenly changed your opinion of this guy... It all sounds a bit weird... I would never visit the dad of a girl I'm just halfway dating, what gives? I've got the feeling - maybe look around for someone who lives closer to you, get a relationship where things are a bit more tangible, and with someone who's actually got time for you instead of always having to make compromises. You don't wanna end of waiting around for nothing. Been there, and it sucks. Bottom line, if he seems to only swim around in his own pond, there are plenty of other fish to bring to shore.

Ha!

I should spin this off to a different thread, Zeen.
Well, now we've worked it out. I'm gonna be there the same time as he is. We'll do some travelling together.
Should be interesting.

(actually, he does live super close to me - in fact just about as close as I've ever dated someone......maybe I gave the impression he lives out of town? Could be a) he goes out of town for work frequently or b) he is travelling on an extended trip currently)

[Zeen]

Brought this back to original post Clynn...

[Zeen]

What's more selfish then:

- Being dumped and not wanting to stay in contact with the dumper
- Being the dumper and expecting the dumped to stay friends as the FRIENDSHIP means SO MUCH to the dumper....

Of course, I know this all depends on the people involved, the circumstances and how it's all handled. But say for instance that it's all handled in a gentle and sensitive manner, where no one has said or done anything hurtful to each other other than one telling the other they only wish to stay friends.

Lol, is this a silly question? Perhaps it is...

[whaywardj]

Naturally, the dumper is operating from a stronger emotional position than the dumpee, so is more able to cope with the transition from love to friendship.

But, in circumstances where the one wants to be friends and the other wants to remain lovers, I think it's always worthwhile for the dumpee to ask the dumper:

"So let me get this straight. You want me to suppress my feelings for you so that you can enjoy the benefits of a friendship with me without having to experience the effects of my love for you?"

[Zeen]

Yep, you said it.

And on that note, has anyone here dumped someone/told anyone they only wanted friendship to later fall in love with the dumpee again?

[clynn]

No. I haven't.