Another friends w/Benefits question

[misombra]

Just because he cuddles with you and holds you after sex doesn't mean too much. I know this from experience.....

I have already been down the whole FWB route and trust me someone always ends up getting hurt! I thought too that it meant more just cuz the guy would look into my eyes, cuddle with me, kiss me....and talk with me after sex and before that it actually was gonna turn into more. The whole point of it all is the sex. The guy can have it all......the sex and the whole cuddling that comes afterwards without the commitment! I mean if he can get all that and not have to be in a relationship....hes gonna. He probably thinks this way you won't get involved with anyone either and he has you all to himself. The point is that if you can't separate your feelings from the sex then its not gonna work! It tends to be harder for women to do this then for men.

Yes you both have a history together but that doesn't mean anything! He has you right where he wants you. The best thing to do if your not happy w/ how things are is to give him an ultimatum. Either he wants a relationship or nothing. If he chooses nothing then u really know exactly how he really feels about you.....and not just how he feels about sex with you...

hi, welcome. and i agree.

[lilwing89]

The guy I was dating was unsure of where our relationship was going, so we decided to be just friends, didn't work, so we've upped it to "friends with benefits" The problem is that he seems to be sending out mixed signals. We are friends, but he seems to always want to snuggle and cuddle and touch. When we are in the same room, we have to be touching. yes, we are having sex, but he acts like it is more than that. Granted, I wouldn't mind at all us being more than friends, but I just think he is confused as hell. So GUYS.. what is up with the mixed signals? I just don't get it!

mm...friends with benefits are so dumb, jsut break it off and find someone else..

[Tone]

Just because he cuddles with you and holds you after sex doesn't mean too much. I know this from experience.....

I have already been down the whole FWB route and trust me someone always ends up getting hurt! I thought too that it meant more just cuz the guy would look into my eyes, cuddle with me, kiss me....and talk with me after sex and before that it actually was gonna turn into more. The whole point of it all is the sex. The guy can have it all......the sex and the whole cuddling that comes afterwards without the commitment! I mean if he can get all that and not have to be in a relationship....hes gonna. He probably thinks this way you won't get involved with anyone either and he has you all to himself. The point is that if you can't separate your feelings from the sex then its not gonna work! It tends to be harder for women to do this then for men.

Yes you both have a history together but that doesn't mean anything! He has you right where he wants you. The best thing to do if your not happy w/ how things are is to give him an ultimatum. Either he wants a relationship or nothing. If he chooses nothing then u really know exactly how he really feels about you.....and not just how he feels about sex with you...

*cheers*

yay for Ellynn, when we gettin married darlin?

[okibo]

I gotta agree with misombra, i would put my money that you have already fallen for him and that is why you are still FWB, if I where you I would go to your firend and set the table straight, cut the FWB crap you are either in a relationship or your not, what your doing now is holding up a poster saying "Please Hurt Me". I dont mean to sound offensive but thats what the deal is, cut the crap and set things straight like an arrow ASAP before you get hurt

Sebas

[nomas]

I don't know..I got the general feeling that it was the other way around on this one.

My advice is that you define exactly what your FWB situation exactly means. I guess it takes the "romance" out of a situation, but nothing beats communications to clear things up, and inefficient as you want to call it, verbal communication is the best tool we have.

It sounds like his take on this FWB situation is simply that you're not exclusive or committed to one another. You can have your intimacy along with kissing, hugging, snuggling after sex, but tomorrow you can both date other people, and do the same with them if you desire.

I do agree that no matter what, someone will probably feel more than the other, unless you're both on the same page, but you have to decide that for yourselves. As long as there is no lieing or misleading, I see no fault in either..but if you have anxieties, communication is key.

[Don99]

Everyone is different, so I won't say what is right for you exactly, I would say talk to him and see what he wants exactly, if cuddling is bothering you, make sure he knows.

For me though, friends with benefits didn't work. I was seeing a girl as a F**k buddy for about 2 months. One day she goes to a party I am at, and sits in one of my best friends laps, and I was completely pissed off, the alcohol didn't help but I didn't realize I was developing this kind of attachment, so I just broke it off, we don't even talk now.

Relationships are where its at, may not be what is cool in some circles but its what I perfer.