Forbidden Love

[shh!]

WHY has he met your son??!! (shaking head)

[Olga]

Wait?






So you are in love with a man 20 years your junior, yet you tow have never dated, never touched each other, and never discussed your feelings?? So you fell in love with him from afar?

Uh, I don't know how they play the game in Russia, but here in the States I imagine it take at least 1 date to fall in love? Or some hand holding? Or how about a serious talk now and then?

I am in love with a man who is 10 years younger. Do you think it is really necessary to touch a person to fall in love?

[Olga]

WHY has he met your son??!! (shaking head)

We meet now and then at his job (he is a student and a part-time taxi-driver), I often go by taxi with my son to different children's clubs. He is always very kind and patient to us, attentive and caring. He is a very good boy, clever and calm. During academic year every week he came to my classroom to greet me, helped together with my students ( I do not teach him and never did, he is in his fourth year now,I only teach the students in their first and second years and I started to work for this University two years ago).
As far as my marriage is concerned.........I would live with my husband for a hundred years tolerating his bad behaviour. I firmly believed that my husband was the only man in my life and it was my fate to be with him and accept him with all his faults. But suddenly i understood that my heart was with another man. It seemed as if my eyes had been shut.(And now I understand that my eyes were shut but my heart was open, available for another love, my love to my husband had died.)Now I am absolutely sure that I love another man. I do not know what is going to happen to my marriage. the happiness of my child is the most important thing in my life.

[shh!]

If your son's father is good to him, then he will obviously be happier if you two could work it out. Whether or not you are willing to do that, you still ought to leave the college boys alone. (The fact that you referred to him as a "boy" says a lot, by the way.)

[Lloyd95]

I am in love with a man who is 10 years younger. Do you think it is really necessary to touch a person to fall in love?

Not only do I believe you need to touch each other, but you need to talk openly and DATE each other!

Geez, you throw the words "in love" around so carelessly. I think you're just infatuated with him. Being "In love" takes time.

[Olga]

If your son's father is good to him, then he will obviously be happier if you two could work it out.

Well........he is ok to his son, loves him, but he does not love me.
My husband's attitude to me changed greatly after our child was born. He has always been impatient, unballanced and moody, but in the beginning of our relationships( either i was head over heels in love with him ready to forgive everything or he was less insulting or both) it did not matter much. I can give you some examples of his behaviour that seem appalling to me. It is a normal thing for him to come home after work and to shout at me calling me names, usually the reason is that he is not satisfied with the way i cooked something or washed something. The greatest problem is that now when the boy is four, he imitates my husband's manner and immediately starts shouting at me something unclear just to be like his father. It really frightens me. One more example. It happened last year, and after this i stopped loving him, and I think that it is for good.We were spending our holiday in a village in the mountains at the seaside. He wanted to have a rest and relax the same way as he did when he was single and young. He got drunk every day (he is not an alcoholic), swam far and dove in this condition. I protested and asked him to stop behaving like this. When he got tired of my demands he took all the money from me and said that he would not give it back to me unless I drop the idea to teach him how to relax. Then we were climbing the steep hill to the village we stayed in. He was drunk and was making our son (2years and 10 months old then) climb (still in Russia he had insisted on not taking the pram and promised to carry our boy). The little one was weeping and asking me to take him. It was a difficult climb for me even without a child in my arms, so I could only walk several steps and it was a long way up. My husband quickened his steps, and when i asked him to help,he told me to put our son down and let him go by himself. I lost my temper (I am usually very tolerant and calm, which ,of course, helps me in my work) and promised him that i would never be dependent on him. Never in my life! And he hit me in the face, so I came to the village with a big black eye and was deeply ashamed.
What is more, when I try to discuss his behaviour with him, he does not seem to repent, he says that it is nothing and i should thank God that i dont live with an alcoholic or drug addict, and that i have all the possibility to die in a gutter if divorce every husband I 've had (It is my second marrige, i didnt have chidren with the first husband).
Nevertheless, like all people he has positive features as well, he works, earns money, he is generous and I think he loves his son more than any person in his life. So I think he would miss his son very much in case of divorce.



Oh and I PROMISE you to leave the university students alone. I have been working as a teacher for 9 years and never responded to any harassment from the boys or young men or old men as well. We do not have any strict rules, in fact no rules of sexual behaviour between the faculty and the students in Russia. If a person is over 16 (from 2003, before it was 14) you can have any kind of relationships with him or her if you are both willing. There are thousands of married coulpes (former teachers and students), it is quite a normal thing. So it is usually the teacher's personal decency that prevents a university professor from being involved into relationships with the students.