Do not know how to make my boyfriend happy. - Feeling unappreciated

[TheEvilJester]

I do agree with you Michelle. That is very much the point I was hoping to get across. To me, there is a big difference between somebody who complains a lot, and somebody who just happens to have damn good reasons to complain. So, it could just be this guy is stuck in a temporarily crappy situation he will eventually get himself out of in time. Still, there is a fine line. At some point, you have to stop complaining and start working to do something about it.

If you worry about the fact that a new job may not wind up lasting, then you'd never leave your current job. Any job could easily last 5 years or 5 days. Sometimes you just have to take a chance or you'll never better your situation.

[Evening Star]

I totally agree with EvilJester.

Also, you shouldn't be happy to be unhappy; not at the expense of others. Try to change what you can about 'you', in order to mend the energy imbalace between your boyfriend and yourself... and your boyfriend should hopefully do the same in return.

What I mean by that, is: stand up for yourself a little by voicing your emotions/concerns to him in a way that's necessary and honest. And, when doing so, try not to worry about whether or not your words will offend or hurt him because brushing your concerns aside will hurt you.

You being concerned about his challenges at work is proof enough that you have his best interests at heart, so don't be afraid to be 110% yourself.

Find happiness in being you, and be 'okay' with that.

[Shortiedancer28]

I do agree with you Michelle. That is very much the point I was hoping to get across. To me, there is a big difference between somebody who complains a lot, and somebody who just happens to have damn good reasons to complain. So, it could just be this guy is stuck in a temporarily crappy situation he will eventually get himself out of in time. Still, there is a fine line. At some point, you have to stop complaining and start working to do something about it.

If you worry about the fact that a new job may not wind up lasting, then you'd never leave your current job. Any job could easily last 5 years or 5 days. Sometimes you just have to take a chance or you'll never better your situation.

He is stuck in a crappy situation, His job he works 10 - 12 hours a day 5 - 6 days a week (so busy during the summer) I feel so bad and I wish I could help him. But he is only miserable in the summer when its busy, so basically 4 months out of the year he constantly complains about his job and hates it. When i said I literally go through this every summer, and ive been with him going on for 3 summers... (started dating in july 2012). And one time he tried out a new job, and hated it so he quit and begged for his job back, thats another story in itself. But I feel like once he really really gets sick of it to the point where he can't take it anymore, I am sure he will find a new job. I would be nervous for him to even start a new job in the economy right now. The job market is so bad. I don't know, this is just such a touch situation. I mean I don't mind him compaling, but this year its just soo bad and stresses me out sometimes, makes me nervous he'd just leave me, even after 2 years just because he's pissed off at his job.

[TheEvilJester]

Four months is a long time for somebody to be constantly down and depressed, even if it does tend to eventually get better once things aren't so busy at his work. The thing is, if he knows it gets this busy during the summer, then he really should learn how to better cope with it, or finally do something about it and get another job. You can't just keep yourself in the same situation and then think things are just going to magically change.

So, he really should figure out his own way to cope with it, since it will only be a temporary problem each year, and he pretty much knows when it will happen. That, or if it really bothers him enough, he should find a new job. So, yeah, I stick by my advice. It is certainly understandable for him to be a bit down, but he needs to figure out a way to deal with it, whatever way works best for him.

So, again, I would be supportive, but gradually become less helpful and more tough love if he still refuses to do something about it. In fact, one thing you could remind him is that it is only temporary. As he knows by now, it won't be quite so bad after the summer when things should slow down from his past experience.

[woody]

I wouldn't take it too personally and besides, his responses don't exactly merit 'cruel' undertones.
Like you said O.P, he's stressed. I'm sure your efforts are appreciated and when the moment strikes right, he'll find a way to let you know.