Being with only one girl your entire life?

[Tone]

:)

__________________

[GrkScorp]

I am sure this has been covered, though it did not come up in the first couple pages of searching.

Anyway,
My GF and I are 24 years old, and have been together for over 4 years. We deeply love each other and agree we could be together for a very long time.

The problem is, that I wonder (on a daily basis) what it would be like to experience another girl, (not to find someone “better”, since that is unlikely) we have discussed this on and off for the past 1.5 years or so (we discuss everything) and cannot come up with a resolution. I cannot decide what I need to do either… when I am 40 will I regret never experimenting?

Do we take a “break”? A break may not work since I would prob put too much emphasis on finding another person which may make my intentions too blatant, especially since I have little experience in meeting girls.

Another option considered was to stay together until (if) I (or her, though she has much less desire to date than me) stumbled upon a girl to go on a date with, which I suppose is called; “seeing other people”, which sounds like total BS, but may be better than a break?

From past inquisition it has been about 50/50. Some people say it is great to marry a first love, the rest say you must experience a range of people before deciding, including questions like “How do you know if you never go out with anyone else?”.

Availability is another problem; there is no line of girls waiting to go out with me, and I am generally not one for the bar/club/social scene.

Your opinions will be well appreciated.

Thanks,
J

i agree with all the previous posts... If something's not broken, then don't bother fixin' it!!! if there's not a single problem in your relationship.. then y ru poking at it??? i know.. people are weird.. usually.. when there's nothing wrong b/w two people... they start making things up.. so that they can have SOMETHING wrong... it's crazy... lol... and stupid... lol

i have a friend of mine that's been going out with someone for close to 3 years. they finished high school together, now going to college together, and going in for law together. they both love each other, and the guy would never do anything to hurt her. but lately he's been telling me that he's been getting these urges to cheat on her, or to do stuff with other women. this is a guy who has grown sick of all the sex he was getting back in greece. he also told me that as soon as he gets accepted into law school, he's going to ask her to marry him. it honestly has to do with all the presure. it's funny, caz guys are better than girls when it comes to copeing with stress... lol..

i'm shur both of u love each other, and trust me.. that's not something u want to let go of.. i know that i would never let go of who i'm going out with right now.. even if i would get thoughts of cheating or having sex with someone else, i would seriously try to forget them... it all depends how u want to handle the situation.. u have two choices...

1. cheat on ur girlfriend, and ruin everything both of u have worked hard at keeping, and destroy all traces of love between the two of you... just so u can get those thoughts out of your head, without really being fair to her, or the two of you... but at least it satisfies YOU...

2. be a man about it!!! seriously.. so what!?!?! u want to have sex with other people... who doesn't... and when u do... what's the big deal??? the point is.. ur beyond that now... if u just haven't had sex with too many people.. and u feel that ur going to be stuck with the same person for the rest of your life... trust me... ur not missing out... sex isn't something that's ment to be thrilling, and new... it's ment to be special, and meaningful, and a way to bring two people closer to eachother... why share that with other people.. when u've found the one person u'd only want to share it with...

it's ok to get freaked out when ur thinking of getting serious... most guys get freaked out, it's normal... just remember, it's just part of your genes... don't think of it as being TRAPED with the same person u can spend the rest of ur life with... think of it as being TOGETHER with the one person u simply can't live ur life without... if u really love her... the least u can do is fight ur urges to cheat... and seriously... both of u should find ways to taking care of that problem... just talk to her about it.. don't keep it in you.. the last thing u want to do is let it eat u up... tell her what ur thinking.. and tell her that u really don't want to cheat on her... maybe u just feel that the chemistry isn't what it used to be... try to remember how much the two of u once loved each other.. and never forget that u still do... the more time u spend together doesn't mean the weaker ur love is for eachother... i think it's the complete oposite.. u should feel that u love and trust eachother more... the two of you get closer by the day... it's like u can almost feel how the other person is feeling... or think the same thoughts... it's amazing... and it's not something or someone u want to let go of... more than a lover, or a partner, or a mother/father... ur significant other is ur companion... someone u can live the rest of your life with together... someone u WANT to live ur life with.. and the person u simply can't live without... so forget cheating... it's just not worth letting go of something so special, for one stupid moment...

[misombra]

i think some things are better left in fantasy world.

[GrkScorp]

i think some things are better left in fantasy world.

oh no.. not at all.. i disagree with u there.. i see what ur trying to say... better they stay as thoughts, than turn into actions... but honestly.. if u keep on thinking about it.. and it gets to the point the it's eating u up alive... then it's torture for u to have to hold back... i don't think it should reach to that point...

talk it over while it's still early... and try to work it out... u could spice things up... maybe u can even work on her fantasies to... both of u can make sex exciting... but everything needs to be done in moderation.. including moderation...

yes.. today u may want sex to be exciting.. then, u may want something new, or playful, or passionate, or rough, or i dunno..

but what u want to do is... stop thinking about cheating...

[shh!]

oh no.. not at all.. i disagree with u there.....

Yeah, but you're kind of a pervert, aren't you?
:-D

j/k

[Illusional]

wow, everyone seems to agree with me. this could start a trend.

raverboy

[Mish]

Well, you're on a "Loveforum" so i guees the main question is do you love her???

If you don't love her then you should leave her right now and find somebody else to experiment with. You'll have to do it in one big rip like pulling off a band aid so neither you nor you gf will continue in your relationship with any false expectations.

If you do love her and your relationship is not experiencing any problems then stop it with this experiment nonsense. I mean Why??? Don't you understand how much something like that would be hurting your gf? Don't you understand the damage something like this can do to your relationship? If i was you and loved my gf and wasn't experiencing any problems in the relationship i would really be happy with what i have and thank God i am one of the few people whose relationship is working.

When you get to the old age you'll get to the old age. You'll always be regretting something in one form or the other. Would you rather regret not experimenting or giving up on something very special?

Respect...

[misombra]

so in summary turbo, ****ing some other person out of curiosity would totally **** up your relationship. that would be sad because it sounds like you have a good relationship with her.

[Turbo]

Wow, this is a fast moving forum, thanks for all the replies.

if there's not a single problem in your relationship.. then y ru poking at it???

There are some problems, things are not perfect. Anxiety is a problem she has, which very much effects our relationship (I have never known anyone who worried more than her). I would like a more care free, spontaneous relationship now.

...if your girlfriend would agree to stay around til you manage to meet someone to date or to take a break just to allow you to then sorry but there's much wrong with herself. Did I get it right.. is this the case?

She is thinking about us in the long run, trying to make sure I am not going to look back and wish I had gone out with other people. She could keep things how they are now, forever; considering this, why would she want to take a break when there is no one else in sight?

...the point is.. ur beyond that now... if u just haven't had sex with too many people..

Too many people…….. I have not been with anyone besides her (I am her first too). I feel I cannot get beyond that, this is nothing new, for years whenever the topic of marriage comes (going to a wedding or hearing mention of one) up the absolute first thing that comes to mind is: “How could I do that when I have never been with anyone else”?

-J

[Ellynn]

Ok so if that pops into your mind then obviously it is really bothering you. But honestly if you could have a couple flings and come back to her to find out shes not available to you or she doesn't want to be with you.......would that bother you? I mean honestly that is a possibility if the two of you experiment and have sex with other people. I mean maybe she could get past it.....and you both could eventually get back together.....but I've found more times then none......that.....that is something that really effects a relationship.

I mean if your just looking for sex......I think thats kinda selfish of you. Sex is sex. I mean you could have it with someone and its wonderful....but the person isn't who you want to be with.
But if your looking for someone else all together and want a relationship with them......then I guess you aren't as happy as you thought you were...and maybe its best to move on now and realize that the two of you aren't gonna work out.


If you aren't happy and her anxiety bothers you that much........find someone else. Don't make promises to your gf about the future.....just make a clean break.

[Mish]

" “How could I do that when I have never been with anyone else”? " By Turbo

I guess that's the question you need to ask yourself. Do you require to be with other people in order to be with her? Let me simplify. Do you require to taste every single ice cream flavour you dont have in order to enjoy the one you do you have?

Plus

Read the question above

Do you love her?

a. Yes

b. No

(Conclusion Above)

Good Luck!!!

Respect...

[Tone]

Wow, this is a fast moving forum, thanks for all the replies.

Sure is... I was at another "love forum" before this one and they had a similair setup to here, different sections and what not.. and I swear there was like 4 new posts per week... then I got here and it's really really active, which is cool.

There are some problems, things are not perfect. Anxiety is a problem she has, which very much effects our relationship (I have never known anyone who worried more than her). I would like a more care free, spontaneous relationship now.

Of course there are problems. Gkscorp probably made the mistake saying "not a single problem" because EVERY relationship you're going to ever have or that there ever was - people have had their problems. We're all humans, we all make mistakes, we all have our own issues.

I know it's hard, cause we sit here and we can say you will regret it. But when you have no clue and no other experience - you're hardheaded and want to find out for yourself anyway.

But you will regret it, she'll then become "the one that got away."

[XPixiedustX]

The problem is, that I wonder (on a daily basis) what it would be like to experience another girl, (not to find someone “better”, since that is unlikely) we have discussed this on and off for the past 1.5 years or so (we discuss everything) and cannot come up with a resolution. I cannot decide what I need to do either… when I am 40 will I regret never experimenting?

Look if you think that there is no one better out there then why go looking? Your gonna go out "get experience"...and the realize...she was the one...then what? you don't expect her to wait around while you experiment do you?
However if you constantly doubt what you have then maybe your right, maybe there is sumone better out there for you...an lil bit of doubt is ok...but if it's sumthing that constantly bothers you then it's probably always gonna be around and u'll end up cheating on your girl.
Then again if you really love her and there is no huge problem w/ ur relationship...why do you want someone else? like tone said all relatioships have their own set of problems...It's not easy to find sumone that your compatible with so don't miss out on who you have now if it's just an occasional doubt you have...

[Turbo]

I am well aware how dangerous it can be to experiment. Many people I talk to say it is not what it’s cracked up to be and the sex is not really that great. BTW, my primary objective would not just be sex; I have the urge to experience a complete relationship with another girl, including meeting her friends, parents, etc. I do not have to try every ice cream flavor, but would like to try a couple.

Not to make it sound commercial, but just as an example, I am like this with many things; I cannot just grab something off a shelf in a store without examining each competitor’s product and maybe going online for reviews, or asking opinions before the purchase, lol.

-J

[Late_vamp]

hey turbo , you like to look for the best bargain , nothing wrong there , u seem pretty smart to me by doing that .

But the love thing , well either you stay or your gone , cant really bargain there unless your looking for trouble . I know what you mean , your very curious and you would like to know , sorta like " what if ?" you know? i had the SAME thing as you , guess what? i took a decision and i said to myself "Well ill stick around for this girl because she might be THE ONE (even if it was my first, we promised each other and we both agreed and even planned out things)...if things don't work out one day , well thats life , itl be over , but there will ALWAYS be fish in the sea ,no matter what " and just know that if she's not the one , dont flip out .

Just take it easy ,in today's society there are more and more ppl that are single and looking even at older ages like 35y old .more ppl than like 30 years ago (i blame this on contraceptives and all that condom,vibrators/porn crap , if we dindt have that , 90% of ppl who cheat and have lots of *dates and partners woulnt do it ... not even once, meaning they found someone and they would stick to them)