Needing some major advice... I REALLY like this girl, but am majorly nervous.

[klip]

well i gotta head to sleep, its only 12 here but im exhausted. il check the board tomorow morning..g'night

[Drummer_Dude]

Cool... I just got back up myself... My previous post was at about 11. It's 5:40am here. Going to play paintball.

Thanks a lot for the advice! It's hard to change, over night, but I'm gonna do the best I can. Everyone have a great day!

[Drummer_Dude]

Oh yeah... My only worry about the coffee... What if she doesn't like coffee? lol

[klip]

then dont go straight for coffee, offer an alternative ( you mentioned ice cream right? ) u can use that

[Lloyd95]

Hey, I was a Math major, and Education Minor!

Anyway, I assume you're over 21. Ask her out for drinks after work. Why? Well b/c then it's not a date. No dinner no movie etc. Less pressure. If it goes well,say, "Let's grab a bite, you have to eat, right?"

If things aren't going well, you can always opt out and say you have things to do etc.

as for the shy thing, here's what I want you to do before your Thrus. dinner. Go out to a bar everynight from now until then. You don't have to drink. Talk to at least 5 girls each night. don't hit on them or use cheezy lines, just introduce yourself and talk. It'll get you used to talking to girl and you won't be nervous b/c 1) you have noe interest in them and 2) You're not hitting on them, just doing "homework" to get over your shyness. Doesn't matter if the lady is 60, just introduce yourself and have a small conversation. IT'll work, trust me.

[Drummer_Dude]

Lloyd95... I guess I'm going to go ahead and try the ice cream... I actually don't drink, or I would consider trying that.

Also, I don't really want to go to a full-fledged bar, but I do know of a pizza place near campus where a lot of college girls hang out. I may try that...

[Worthless666]

i think it kind of sucks when you find a girl who is intresting but not as nice looking you find it easier to talk i guess...because you get used to talking before you start getting atracted, when they're good looking (in my case at the moment) it kind of gets hard to talk because your afraid of making yourself look stupid, but you look more stupid sitting out on the side watching most of the time than if you start talking she may start to realise your intrested...

[Tone]

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." ~Ambrose Redmoon

[Drummer_Dude]

Well... I finally talked to her. !!!!!

My friend introduced me to her at the dinner, but I didn't get to talk to her for very long... (maybe 2 minutes). It was kind of loud, and she was sitting about three chairs down from me. Also, She got there a little late, and left right after the presentation. I was a little disappointed, but I didn't let it bother me.

The next day, I was determined to go to her office and talk to her!!!

So... here I am, walking to her office. But... After I get about half way, I said to myself "I can't do this"... and turned around to walk back to my office... But, I thought how silly I was being, and I turned right back around. I was really nervous... but I kept on walking.

When I got there, I knocked on her door frame, and she looked up, and smiled, and said "Hey!". I said "Hey, how's everything going?". And then we talked for a while.

I honestly couldn't tell if she was interested in me or not. She seemed happy, was smiling a lot, and laughed at a few things I said.

She asked me if I had any plans for the weekend... I told her about the golf tournament I was playing in. When I told her I'd let her get back to work, she told me to have a good weekend, and told me good luck. She had a lot of plans, as well, and I told her to have fun, and have a great weekend.

Also... It was really quite by her office, and I felt like we were being heard by 5 or 6 people, so I didn't really feel comfortable, and I felt like I wasn't being myself... Also, her office is connected to an office on one side that has no wall after about 7 feet up.

I'm kind of stuck between asking her to go do something, or waiting a while longer... I'm kind of afraid that I may scare her off. I think I should at least go by her office again tomorrow.

[Tone]

Nice work man! You took the first step... just casual conversation. The more you do this the more comfortable you will be around her, and as long as you're not being creepy or saying stupid things - the more comfortable she'll be around you.

I'd say just keep on doin what you're doing, taking it slow and just get to know her. One day in casual conversation maybe just hint on getting together sometime, outside the office. Let us know how it goes.

[TAVS]

Yea, one step at a time. One foot in front of the other

[Drummer_Dude]

Well guys, I hope you all remember this thread.

A lot has happened since my last post, some of which you may not believe at all, because it sounds way to good to be true.

Anyway... I was working on the slow approach, and the weekend following the weekend I mentioned in my last post, she actually asked me out!! I couldn't believe it, I was totally caught off guard.

Anyway, I had stopped by her office earlier that day, probably 3 or so, and aske d her if she had any plans. It turned out she was going to be quite busy, so I really didn't ask her if she wanted to do anything. At about 4:40, I got an email from her telling me that her plans got changed, and then she aksed me if there was a chance that I was going to be in town. So I replied immediately, of course. Also, I went over to talk to her, and asked her if she'd like to go out for dinner, or something. She said that would be alright, or we could just watch a video at her place. So, she invited me over to her place, to watch a dvd. That was on a Saturday, I was majorly looking forward to it, and was equally nervous. This was the first "official" date I had been on. It went pretty good (I thought). We watched a movie, I ordered some pizza (that's what she wanted), and ate some dessert that she made (it was really good). Also, we talked for a really long time. I live about 45 minutes out of town, so I left fairly early, probably around 10:30 or 10:45. (she had told me earlier that week that she usually goes to bed at around 9 or 10), so I wanted to get home safely (not get sleepy) and to also not keep her up.

When I was getting ready to leave, I told her that I really enjoyed the afternoon, ans she said that she did too. A little laters, I asked her if she'd like to go out for coffee ( I had asked her earlier if she liked coffee) or dinner sometime, and she said yeah.

When I left, I was really thrilled.

Ok, this is where the tables turn. The following monday, I saw her when I was going to lunch. She was walking in, and I was walking out. I said "Hey!" and smiled a lot, but she seemed like she really didn't want to talk to me. She never really stopped (just slowed), and kinda turned toward me, and said "hi" , I asked her if she had a nice lunch, and she said "yeah". She told me she went to her parents for lunch, and that she was also had a cold. I said "oh no, that's not good", then she just kept walking, so I said "see ya later". I think she said "bye" but I honestly can't remember if she actaully said anything back.

So, I really felt weird after that. I stopped by her office a few days later, and she again seemed like she really didn't want to talk to me. She was was busy, (she never stopped working really), so I told her (nicely) that I would let her get back to work. Then I left. Also, when I first got there, her neighbor was talking on the phone, and cussing and stuff. I was making some weird facial expressions ( I think), when she would say a curse word, and this girl didn't seem to notice. I hope she didn't think I was making the face at her, or that I was making it for some other reason. My eyes just got larger, and I was kinda like "wow, I can't believe she's saying that that loud", but I don't think I looked stupid or anything. The words weren't horrible, just kinda loud and obvious.

So... I then waited a few more days, and stopped by again. This time, she seemed a little more excited to talk to me, but she still didn't say a whole lot. Things almost seemed to be back the way they were before we went out.

So, not this past, but the weekend before that, I sent her an email asking her if she'd like to go out for dinner some afternoon. She replied and told me that she was flattered by the invitation, but really wasn't interested.

I really can't figure out what happened, or what I did wrong.

To tell you what I think... I don't think she liked my personality, but didn't want to tell me immediately that night.

I really hate all this.. because, I never felt like I could be myself around her. When we went out, I had only known her for a few weeks, and I really didn't know her enough to know what I could say, and all that. Honestly, I have a great personality, and I love to make people laugh. I have lots of friends that are girls, and I really do cut up a lot, but I never really did (or felt like I could) around her. I honestly wish that she would have got to know me a bit better. I still really like her. She is really sweet, and a nice person, but I guess that there's something that she didn't like about me.

I guess my chances are pretty much shot.

[whaywardj]

Uh. I don't have the eyes for it tonight. Cliff Notes, anyone?

[Drummer_Dude]

Wow... That was actually the short version.

[Tone]

Damn man. Maybe she's just a little uncomfortable with the whole dating a co-worker thing. Or maybe you were too conservative for her. I just think it's weird how she asked you out then after hanging out just once, she says she's not interested.

I dunno, from your story it sounds like you visited her a lot at work, I think that might have made her uncomfortable... dunno. Not much you can really do but move on and keep your eye open for the next girl.

Just out of curiousity, how did things go at her place? Did you guys talk much at all? Or did you just sit there and watch the movie? Did you sit by each other? Was there any physical contact at all? Or did you sit on seperate ends of the couch, LoL.