Do i keep waiting for her text back

[basilandthyme]

Jester, the fact that she's already told him more than once that she won't go out with him shows means she's done exactly what you're suggesting. Short of either unfriending him or being very bluntly rude and hurtful, there's nothing more she can do to make her position perfectly clear.

She's already told him "no". Sadly the OP isn't listening to her.

[Wakeup]

Jester, the fact that she's already told him more than once that she won't go out with him shows means she's done exactly what you're suggesting. Short of either unfriending him or being very bluntly rude and hurtful, there's nothing more she can do to make her position perfectly clear.

She's already told him "no". Sadly the OP isn't listening to her.

I think what Jester is getting at is that she is telling him "she can't" go out with him and Jester thinks she should be saying something like: "I don't want to go out with you" or: "I'm not interested in going out with you." Or even "Fvck off, I don't like you." lolzzz

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BTW: I definitely agree that she is clearly telling him "No, I don't want to go out with you" in her actions and refusal to meet up and excuses to not be in his company, though.

[basilandthyme]

Yeah, it's unfortunate when the object of someone's affections is expected to up the ante into his/her uncomfortable zone just so the pursuer gets the message.

[TheEvilJester]

Jester: You put too much power in the woman's hands. If her actions are showing you that she's not interested (as this girl in the op's case is doing) then YOU SHOULD JUST NEXT HER. Don't bother waiting for ANYONE to TELL you that they are not interested. If they are not giving you the reciprocation or doing a find dance in the chase department then you should be the one to exit stage left. Keep your personal power and don't be giving it away to ANYONE who is not jonesing to be with you.

Fair enough. I think perhaps the important distinction I have to admit I am missing is that I am attributing this too much to my own personal experiences, whereas my personal experiences aren't exactly as comparable as I am making them out to be. In other words, I think perhaps I sit a little too close to this one. I say that because, frankly, were I in the same situation, I WOULD have "nexted" this girl a long time ago.

I just happen to have been in situations that were similar (both from the aspect of women I've wanted to date as well as friends who didn't seem terribly committed to the friendship) but not exactly the same. Situations where I had actual reason to believe there was interest on the other side, but then the person never seemed to want to actually follow through.

I think I'm getting myself too hung up on my own personal experience. The difference here is that the OP barely knows this gal, and even on Facebook she can barely be bothered to give him the time of day. So, in fairness, I am more basing my feelings on this matter against people I've experienced, where there is a feigned interest, but never any follow through. Or there was chemistry before (either as a friend or potential love interest), but it suddenly and without explanation just disappears. That is where I still feel as I said before.... Man the Hell up and just be honest.

Looking back at this with an objective eye, I do admit you are correct, Wakeup and basil.

This is a little bit different in that she never really showed much interest, and, in fact, has made it pretty clear she has no interest. I will still say this, though. In this case, she shouldn't HAVE TO, but I'd still say if somebody is just not getting it, then do yourself a favor and just be honest. Hell, you can give them the whole "I like you as a friend, and that is it" sort of excuse if you want to let them down gently, but if they aren't getting it, then the same hope they get the hint kind of approach is not going to work.

Redirecting back to the OP specifically,

Bottom line, just as anybody would, you deserve better than somebody who can barely be bothered to even give you a minute of their time. It seems she is not interested. The attitude you need to take is that is HER loss and not yours. If she can't even give you a chance, then forget her. Find yourself a gal who will. Good luck to you.

[basilandthyme]

Jester, I think all of our responses are coloured by our life experiences. What we've felt in the past and how we imagine we'd react in the future. It goes a long way to explaining the strong reactions we all have to various things.

Peace xx

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, agreed. I just think I was attributing this too much to my personal experience and missing the fact that it wasn't really as comparable as I thought.

Again, it sounds as though this gal has been completely and obviously disinterested right from the start. That's not really the personal experience from which I was drawing, because with somebody like that I make it a habit to "next" them pretty instantly.

Admittedly, the advice really is still very much the same even if she had shown initial interest and then was suddenly pulling away. I could just kind of more understand the feeling of wanting to keep trying if it is somebody who actually HAS shown interest in the past. Like a friend or romantic interest with whom you seemed to get along really well, and then it suddenly seems like they are pulling away for little or no reason.

These days, though, I do typically take the attitude of if you can't be bothered to spare some time for me, then YOU are not worth MY time, not the other way around. I'd advise that in most situations. Unless there are specific reasons, a general rule of thumb is to not waste your time chasing somebody who can't be bothered with you.