Sorry my ex, for making you love me and then breaking your heart. I hope you know that not a day goes by without me feeling guilty.
so you respond to me AND open up dialog... is this just a game.. arrrghh.. friday is a loooong way away.. but then I can see if you will meet me...
im having fever today, those days you will always taking care of me but now all done by my own self....going back to sleep during lunch time later and i wish i will never wake up...
I dread the mornings now.. I have to wake up tp that pain all over again.. its not going away.. I pray for the night to come so I can have vodka, then finish myself off with a sleeping pill.. if I dont take that I will only wake up in 3 hours and cry because I miss you.. why has no one else ever affected me this way? maybe because it was always me who left, because I was always better off without them..I will never be better off without you.. and I think if I ask you point blank today if you love me, you will say yes.. and I believe you do.. I think..maybe..I miss you so much.. and I still love you as much as I ever did.. <3
After all the love and affection you showed me, how could you suddenly go so cold?? If you loved me, why weren't you willing to talk things through with me? I love you and miss you every day...especially at night when you don't call me anymore. I can't imagine you don't miss me too... why don't you pick up the phone you heartless, prideful fool?? I want to patch things up and love each other again. Why won't you give us another chance?
I hate that I still compare every girl I go out with to you. The biggest thing I miss was the fireworks we had in the beginning and I am afraid I will not have that with anyone else in the future.
hahahah HG lol
Jesus Karen you are like a ****ing yo-yo and you are doing my head in
Argh, again! Seriously, enough with you and weird dreams including you! I saw a dream about you where you didn't look like yourself and with imaginary boyfriend, and yet I woke up with bad mood. Why?
Today is particularly hard. I went to sleep thinking about you, woke up the same. I remember all the beautiful moments we shared but that inevitably leads to the darker and more hurtful times. Talking to you these days is so strange, I want to forget you and remove you from my life, but how can I do that to you when you were my everything? The loneliness is starting to set in, when I go home and realize that there is no one there waiting for me, when I crave the touch of someone else, to hold and laugh just so I can not think of you. How did we become like this? It wasn't even last year that we thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives. At your cousins' wedding where we snuck glances at each other and smiled knowing that one day it would be us on the altar.
I wish I could tell you about my dream.. we were in a room.. and both of us had completely different identities (sounds funny now that I type it) but it was still us, and all the feelings were there, and nothing outside that door mattered..I guess maybe thats what is was about all along.. maybe thats what my dream was trying to tell me..that if it wasnt for what was outside that door, everything would still be the same...
I knew it was the time that I usually get up.. even in my sleep I could feel the pain starting..but I pushed it away.. pushed it hard.. and stayed in that dream with you.. just for a few more minutes...
im having doubts about whether or not I should tell you how I feel......
No REGRETS! I did what I did. You did what you did. I hope you find happiness in yourself soon. You need it. Miss you. Bye.