Human Trash

[DoesntMatter]

Your humor beguiles me

[dewilliams2]

Your humor beguiles me

Look at you throwin out beguile...word of the day mother****er!!!

[Junket]

Wow, cant believe how much this moved on..

Incog, im utterly shocked that you think hitting your daughter with a belt is teaching her. What lesson is it teaching her that she cant be taught by being non physical??

Physical violence(and yes it is violent, your kidding yourself if you think otherwise) is just a lazy way of disciplining a child. Do you not have the patience or ability to verbally communicate with a child to get across what is right and wrong? or is it through frustration and anger, or a want to be in control?? Have you even tried to discipline her in other ways??

Out of interest, does your wife hit her child?? or does she leave that to you to inflict?

Qwerty, shut up, you didn't even read the entire conversation.

[LailaK]

I remember that story about the poor little girl in Vegas (or Reno?) who was killed in the bathroom stall of a casino (of all places).

When I have children I fully expect to be overprotective to the point of being annoying. Better that than sorry. My son will be using the ladies restroom until I think he's old enough to fend off child molesters on his own.

[IndiReloaded]

Thanks for posting, Qwerty, and agreeing with me. Your cheque is in the mail.

Incognito - every post you add just makes you look even further the ignorant dimwit. I'm not surprised hitting your child with a belt was the best you could come up with. She antagonized you, and you couldn't think of how to manipulate the situation in your favour. Frankly, your kid sounds smarter than you and your wife is a loser. Good luck with that.

[IndiReloaded]

I've helped little girls in the bathroom before while their dads waited outside. I think when they're old enough to go with someone they don't know for five minutes is when you send them. Boys are another story- I'm worried about that, myself. So many creepy child molesters are men. Bleeeahhhhh.

Don't worry. He can go with you until about school-age (6 or so). After that, and when he seems okay with it, he can go with dad or rarely on his own. My son hardly ever uses a public restroom, but the few times he has needed one and dad isn't there I stand right outside the door. I also grab a quick glance inside when he goes in.

[SirWagginston]

The problem with physically punishing your kids is that it makes them ignorant. It teaches them to pay more attention to threats than reasoning. It also sends the message that critically understanding proper behavior is unimportant, and breeds lemmings. My parents got flack from neighbors because when reprimanded for something by another parent outside their presence, I would ask them why I can't do that. They'd get all furious and go to my dad and say, "He asked me why!!!", and dad would say, "... so?" Now, on the one hand, that made me an insufferable rebel child, sometimes, but on the other hand, I also took that instinct to ask why with me to the classroom, where you could find me asking "why" about things we were learning more than anyone else. I continued to ask why when I was being peer pressured, when I watched the news and listened to politics, and even when there was a commercial on TV peddling some product I didn't really need.

[doppelgaenger]

Send her in with a nice, safe-looking lady.

Seriously, girls are less at-risk than boys because female sexual predators are much more rare. You don't need to be quite as worried.

What?? No way. Boys are molested more than girls?

[Junket]

Thanks for posting, Qwerty, and agreeing with me. Your cheque is in the mail.

Incognito - every post you add just makes you look even further the ignorant dimwit. I'm not surprised hitting your child with a belt was the best you could come up with. She antagonized you, and you couldn't think of how to manipulate the situation in your favour. Frankly, your kid sounds smarter than you and your wife is a loser. Good luck with that.

You've really been over stepping your bounds, you need to cut that shit out.

[Lipp]

Do we fear Fras or do we fear his ban-hammer?

[Charlie Boy II]

I think indi's going through menopause atm

[qwertz]

or just gets fcuked off by so called parents that have to resort to hitting their kid with a belt in an attempt to discipline them.

[vashti]

What?? No way. Boys are molested more than girls?

In this particular circumstance? I think boys are more at risk. Girls are more at risk in other circumstances. Duh.

[vashti]

Do we fear Fras or do we fear his ban-hammer?

He doesn't have a ban-hammer anymore.

[IndiReloaded]

-sigh- Yes, but without the object in question there isn't a need to be fearful. A hand is attached to you, and therefore the disciplinary instrument is always with the parent and that could generate fear. Why am I bothering....

Sigh all you like. This is the stupidest thing I've ever read. That high school teacher should have been fired. Neither of you understand how conditioning works. I suppose that teacher had read something about psychology and thought he actually understood it.

Human learning is by association and is contextual. Hitting your daughter with a belt doesn't make her afraid of the belt, it makes her afraid of YOU. She's not stupid. What she probably did feel is a sense of betrayal that a parent could do something like that to her, especially given how she must have been driven to desperation to yell at her parent in that kind of household.

Lets examine another favourite tool of bullying parents: a hairbrush. I doubt kids hit with a brush are afraid to brush their hair with it, just afraid when their parent comes at them with it.

As for my tickling my son--this is exactly the ignorance I am illuminating. It is not a failed method. He stopped the behaviour. Its called *redirection*. I told him sternly after I didn't want him touching that object, and the shock of my intervention during his behaviour stopped him. That is, he didn't touch it again after.

Furthermore, I didn't get this behaviour change by making him feel like crap about it. We BOTH won. And, last point, which really demonstrates the difference b/t you and I: at his young age at that time, I felt it was MY responsibility that he was acting this way b/c I hadn't taken sufficient control of the situation earlier to prevent that behaviour. Basically, he was a bit bored. So why would I punish him for my failure? I was the adult in that situation, not him.

Tell me, Incognito. How would you have handled my situation? With a spanking?

As Giga said, when young children misbehave, look to the parents. When your daughter screamed at your wife, it was because the two of you weren't getting along, or some need of hers hadn't been met, AND she had observed one or both of her parents yelling like this previously.

So, hitting her with a belt to punish her for YOUR issues just makes so much sense. Don't you think?