Inner Game

[Only-virgins]

I didn't know almost anyone, I just presented myself to everyone. By the end of the night, two girls tried to kiss me, five gave me their phone numbers - I only asked for one - and I was invited for another party.

How did you just "present" yourself? What is a card you put drinks on? I have been to many bars and have never heard of such a thing.

[GrkScorp]

Your reasons are your own, OV, but I choose the above because that's how I want to live, not because it gets me more women

Nobody is telling you to be an @sshole..

The difference between men and women is as follows..

- Men use games to COUNTER female games
- Men use games to LEVEL the playing field (to snap women out of that "i'm all that" trance they all like to fall into)
- Men use games NOT to CONTROL women, but to bring out the REAL women in women.. the (non-game-playing-control-freak) girl inside her
- Men actually turn game OFF after they're in a relationship

but..

NO MORE ON THIS CHITTER CHATTER!

BACK TO INNER GAME.. NO MORE DISTRACTIONS.. I WANT YOU TO FOCUS.. ON YOU!

[Only-virgins]

What questions on the inner game? You gave some advice.

[GrkScorp]

What questions on the inner game? You gave some advice.

Look on the first page.. I asked you to think of some questions.. this thread is NOT about advice.. it's about personal INNER change.. and I want you to read those questions and think about them.. take your time.. as you relax and read through them.. and while you realize the answers to the questions.. make the effort to capture everything you feel, everything you want.. and write it back.. we'll take if from there OV

[GrkScorp]

What questions on the inner game? You gave some advice.

Look on the first page.. I asked you to think of some questions.. this thread is NOT about advice.. it's about personal INNER change.. and I want you to read those questions and think about them.. take your time.. as you relax and read through them.. and while you realize the answers to the questions.. make the effort to capture everything you feel, everything you want.. and write it back.. we'll take if from there OV

I'll be back tomorrow.. take all the time you need OV.. don't rush yourself.. feel free to take on one at a time if you need to.. take as much space as you need.. i'll get to all of it.. don't leave out anything just for the sake of being short..

Best,

GrkScorp

[IndiReloaded]

Women destroyed them by pushing them away. Women are to blame if you think about it. Why act like a gentlemen and a good person if I get less women that way? I have been a gentlemen all my life and got no reactions

Is this about quality or quantity, OV? They are different problems w/different strategies. I would say GS, and all the Systems he uses, has cornered the market on quantity. I'm not convinced about quality.

Re: your comment about women. You are, frankly, too young to be drawing this bitter conclusion. This is learned behaviour. Your N is too small & your dating repertoire too limited (based on what you have posted in the past). There ARE decent, nice girls out there who want to date nice men like you. You won't find them in bars tho hovering around men like GS describe. I can't believe times have changed THAT much since I was dating that this isn't still true. Check your motives for this thoughts origin.

As we scientists say...it is all about the results. No offense but can you tell me WHAT TO DO instead of what NOT TO DO.

Okay, OV, here's what you do: find a girl you are sincerely attracted to. I am assuming you want a relationship, not a simple hook up. Study her from a distance & USE that fine brain to figure out what will catch her attention. Then *do those things*. Be funny, witty, clever, in a slow but steady way. Try to evoke things that will engage her emotions, women are emotional--humor is the easiest to start with. In these things, I agree w/GS, confidence is important, but it needs to be real. Give her time to process what you are doing, observe her responses & do more of what works & less of what doesn't. Just like an experiment! When the time is right (she smiles a lot & seems receptive to you) ask her out to something you enjoy: symphony, the museum, rock climbing, canoeing, volunteer to build houses for poor ppl together.... whatever. Most importantly, tho, TALK to her about things that are important to her & to you. Be fun & funny with depth & w/out guile.

Don't be an asshole as you do this. Be confident, be manly, but in a way that shows the best of who you are. The problem w/much of what GS says is that it will evoke the 'law of attraction': you will get what you give--a manipulative, shallow woman who thinks its okay for a guy to treat her like shit. If that's what you want, fine, go for it. It sounds like insecure women may fall for that type of thing. But if you want someone with intelligence & depth who is secure in themself, just be all those things I mentioned, but also authentic. How do I know? That's how my husband & I grew together. It works & I don't think my case is rare or unusual. I suspect Miso, Vash, Squirrley will have similar stories, different in detail but the same in general method.

It is not like he is brain washing me. I can think on my own. I do what I always do. If someone makes a claim and puts something in front like he did...I do what I always do...I test it.

Yes, I know you can think for yourself but did want to alert you, and anyone else who reads this as to the problem w/these 'player' methods. At least, that's what it was called when I was your age (playboys, players, etc). They really don't work for certain women. If GS has experience w/this (he may not b/c he hangs out in bars) he's not saying. Again, its quantity vs. quality issues. Anyway, its still the same tek-niques, from what I can see, just there are now guys all over the internet making $ off men buying their book 'Systems' these days. Its a game, pure and simple. If sex is your goal, it will work; it worked when I was your age & I'm sure its still true today. Just be very clear to yourself what you want & why.

Though I think we all know that being a nice gentlemen is epic failure in relationships these days.

I disagree OV. My husband was a gentleman & he stood out b/c of it. Well, perhaps I am old fashioned. Maybe girls today don't want to be treated as ladies (I doubt it). I suppose it depends on what you are looking for.

I settle for some people cause I am getting none being me.

Fair enough. What you are currently doing isn't working so try something else. Agreed. In fact, I'm certain you are smart enough to take 'what works' for you from these methods & bin the rest. Just beware the 'asshole techniques'; its not true that all women will fall for them. GS has posted NO experience with LTRs, keep that in mind. And I'd hate to see you lose anything (or anyone) in this regard for the sake of expediency, that's all.

Personally, I like Cam's method (pity he hasn't posted on this): on a date he acts like his charming self & sets his standards. If they don't measure up, he says '**** 'em' & walks away. But he doesn't bother with the games. See the difference? He's got integrity & doesn't bother w/trying to mind**** someone. Why would you even want someone who is stupid enough to fall for this crap anyway? Something to think about.

Anyway, OV, I don't want to hype on this like your mom anymore, lol. Just remember you are dealing w/ppl, who are human & should be respected as such. Bitchy women, like player men, are simply flavours of ppl to be ignored/avoided if they are not what you are looking for. Keep your dignity & listen to that little voice that says 'this isn't right' when you hear it & you will do fine.

[IndiReloaded]

That amounts to nothing more than a poor female attempt to find reason to convince you otherwise.. Other attempts?

- Don't be a loser
- Don't be mean
- It's not nice
- If she's a classy girl..
- If she's smart..
- If she's worth it..
- If you're a "real" man
- Only immature people play games
- Not everyone plays games (that's right, relationships only have 1 woman, the other person is usually a man)

This is just a cheap attempt at psych on your own part, GS.

I'm calling bullshit on your posts for reason of inconsistency. If you really believe that your aren't promoting someone to be an asshole, explain the post I pointed out (the one about the guy approaching your group in the bar) & why it ISN'T cruel to treat someone like that.

While you're at it, explain how basing a relationship on manipulation will encourage girls (or anyone) to be their 'natural game-free' selves. You said the games stop? I think the 'exit strategy' for this is something that really needs explaining b/c I can't see it. Do you have experience in this?

And yes, I'm an idealist. I expect the best of ppl & I generally get it as a result. I genuinely like OV & I'd like to see him in a solid, happy relationship w/a nice girl. How about you? Have you actually *observed* this type of method producing this kind of result for someone like him? Be honest, if you can please.

[vashti]

I don't understand why the inexperienced males actually buy all the crap Grk posts when:

1) the females on this board are unanimously disgusted by his methods.

2) No one knows for sure that he is as successful catching women as he claims.

Some of you guys must be pretty desperate.

BTW OV - I agree with indi about the bitterness. You should really lose it - if anything is keeping the women from you, it is certainly the bitterness. Optimism is a much more attractive trait.

[okapa]

It's not really his advice, you can find a lot of writers who've worked on that subject, he just made a very good work at reading and understand them all.

And it sort of works, I've tried and I was sucessful to a certain degree I guess

edit:

How did you just "present" yourself? What is a card you put drinks on? I have been to many bars and have never heard of such a thing.

"Hello, do you know whose birthday it is (it was a mixture of 3 parties I think lol)?" or something else, I don't know, just don't show that it's a big deal, make it natural. Most people just asked my name and developed a small conversation.
Over here you get a card before entering a bar. When you ask for a drink, they mark your card and you have to pay before you leave as there's always someone at the entrance.

Thanks for your support Grk, I just hoped text messages weren't free lol.

[misombra]

ov, you should just affirm to yourself everyday, that you are a good guy and you are deserving of a good girl.

if you carry that with you all day, i guarantee the good girls will come to you.

the games are stupid. ask any woman here if when they met their boyfriends or husbands if games like that were exposed to them.

on my part, no. no games, no manipulation. if that was there, it would have been doa.

[okapa]

ov, you should just affirm to yourself everyday, that you are a good guy and you are deserving of a good girl.

if you carry that with you all day, i guarantee the good girls will come to you.

the games are stupid. ask any woman here if when they met their boyfriends or husbands if games like that were exposed to them.

on my part, no. no games, no manipulation. if that was there, it would have been doa.

It's not like a game, it's interpreting women signs and trying to take advantage from them, it's being smart. But what OV needs is to feel good with himself.

OV, your happiness doesn't reflect others, only yourself... If you wanted, you could spend all your day home and you would probably find something to do without anyone else - what I mean is, others are important, but not as much as you, you're the one who has a choice over your life, not them.

Good luck mate, sorry I'm not so good at those elaborated speeches.

[IndiReloaded]

It's not like a game, it's interpreting women signs and trying to take advantage from them, it's being smart. But what OV needs is to feel good with himself.

I agree w/this. I just don't believe the way to achieve this is to act like an asshole/be fake. It is those points that I point out. Some of the authors GS takes his ideas from have some merit, I agree. But like any idea, they have limitations & in some cases serious problems.

Perhaps GS is just explaining himself badly, I allow for that possibility. But, there ARE ppl out there who use these techniques in ways that many do not consider ethical. And, contrary to what GS might post, there is nothing wrong w/ethics. It is the fabric of our society & the core of who we are as humans. So. Are there bitchy women out there who treat guys like shit? Sure. Do I think they are any better than player types. Not at all. I view both personality types as needing to work on their self-esteem & maturity.

There is a middle path to finding a balance b/t confidence, good communication & still being a decent human being that doesn't need to 'succeed' at the expense of others & your self-respect. "Working" someone is only necessary when you believe you can't have an authentic communication w/them (so GS, you might want to consider dropping the NLP lingo w/OV in your posts, he's too smart for it). That is all I am saying.

[okapa]

Maybe I'm exagerating, but if this helps you understand it, whatever:

You are in a war. You represent men. You are fighting against women. They are using athomic bombs on you. Will you use it on them?

Now, it isn't as bad as it sounds - by winning them over, you are feeling better but you are also making them feel better with themselves. And by getting a girl, she isn't going to be with a pseudo-bad-boy who is the real asshole - you may act like one to get her, then you just act normal. What if you are acting like one? Are you going to private yourself from life because of ethics?

Just do what feels good with yourself and makes you happy, that's what's important.

edit: And try to make girls and other human beings happy aswell, as long as it doesn't make you feel bad.

[misombra]

It's not like a game, it's interpreting women signs and trying to take advantage from them, it's being smart. But what OV needs is to feel good with himself.

how is ov supposed to feel good about himself when he knows he's manipulating people into liking him and do cruel things to people to go about it?

ov is likable all on his own. he doesn't even have to try.

[misombra]

Maybe I'm exagerating, but if this helps you understand it, whatever:

You are in a war. You represent men. You are fighting against women. They are using athomic bombs on you. Will you use it on them?

it's really sad that you think of it like that. sad, and a little pathetic.