Need some advice...from everyone...

[Tone]

Jeblina, understand that we can't judge him, nor are we (I) trying to.

But just try to think of this a little more rationally. You have a home now, you've been there for some time and it doesn't sound like your mom wants to pressure you out, what's waiting a few more months going to hurt? Give him more than just one months time to proove he is really done with that phase in his life. It's only going to help if you wait. Whereas if you do rush into things, move in together... and 2 months down the line he gives into temptation (he is human afterall) you're stuck with a real sticky situation... now you and most importantly, your daughter are living in the house with a drug addict.

I understand we usually put ourselves in shitty situations, but think of your daughter here - you definately don't want to put her in that situation.

I say you wait it out... see how serious he is, if he's really going to stay clean and you guys really will work out, then waiting another 6months - 1year to move in together should be no big thang.

[Tone]

So I would still be considered an addict? Even though I've been clean and sober for almost 5 years? Absurd.

Maybe you're no longer addicted to the drug, but you sure seem to be still addicted to bad decision-making which got you in trouble with drugs to begin with...

[Lloyd95]

I agree with the last two posts (of Tone's)

[Jeblina]

Maybe you're no longer addicted to the drug, but you sure seem to be still addicted to bad decision-making which got you in trouble with drugs to begin with...

My drug addiction was purely for self-medication in response to my anxiety disorder.

I've convinced myself that all my bad decisions AREN'T bad decisions....I just need to learn things the hard way...

[Tone]

But in this situation it effects more than just you...

[shh!]

Tone is right. You lose the priviledge of "risk taking" when you give birth. Your wanting a man should not conflict with your daughter's need for stability.

[Jeblina]

You know...I hate it....but you guys are all right. I think the reason that he and I want to move in together is partly because it's convenient....I will have a "roomate" that I can split costs with, someone that I feel safe with, etc etc. He'll have a place to stay where he can live close to work, have his daughter come and spend the night with him, and he'll live with me. As it is right now, he and I don't see a whole lot of one another....not unless my mom is out of town (and then he comes to stay with me)...or I go and spend time with him up at work (which is a limited amount of time)....it just sucks....right now, I think that he and I are madly in LUST with one another and want to spend as much time as possible with one another....****....I'm frustrated.

[carpflounder]

Not a crack addict....he WAS an addict...

You just gave me the biggest laugh of the morning and I almost sprayed milk all over my screen.

This is your story to right?; you used to be an addict but miraculously your not only clean but no longer an addict. Wow when I heard that I thought you were a really rare case. Now, I find out that your boyfriend is another one of theses miracle cases who used to be an addict.

I guess you people in Florida don't need programs like Alchoholics Anonymous, I mean you just quit and BOOM thats it no more urges ever.

If I didn't know this was bullshit....I'd actually be amazed.

[Jeblina]

You just gave me the biggest laugh of the morning and I almost sprayed milk all over my screen.

This is your story to right?; you used to be an addict but miraculously your not only clean but no longer an addict. Wow when I heard that I thought you were a really rare case. Now, I find out that your boyfriend is another one of theses miracle cases who used to be an addict.

I guess you people in Florida don't need programs like Alchoholics Anonymous, I mean you just quit and BOOM thats it no more urges ever.

If I didn't know this was bullshit....I'd actually be amazed.

You've got me all wrong....I can only speak for myself.....and I KNOW that I'm no longer an addict. It's a part of my past that I've dealt with and learned from...I never want to be there again, and I won't ever be there again.

My boyfriend....fine...he's a RECOVERING addict....does that suit you better? Like I said...I can only speak for myself...all I know is what I see, and what he tells me. I guess his situation is probably different from mine....his was a physical addiction....mine was purely mental...I had no physical addiction to the drugs I was taking....I was only taking them to not deal with the more difficult parts of my life....I've learned HOW to deal with difficult things now, and feel no need to self-medicate. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was taking these drugs because his boyd needed them...he had to take methadone to get clean, and after coming off the methadone, he spent 5 days, locked in his room, throwing up all over himself. So his situation is definately different.....

I'm no "miracle case" as you say....I just know that I'm no longer an addict.

[Jeblina]

You just gave me the biggest laugh of the morning and I almost sprayed milk all over my screen.

PS....I'm glad that I could be the biggest laugh of the morning.

[carpflounder]

. I do realize that being with him is a gamble...but the fact that I'm aware of what's happened allows me to watch that much more closely. I don't WANT him to screw up....but I am watching very closely.

Even if he did screw up you would still go back to him/keep him.

[carpflounder]

My boyfriend....fine...he's a RECOVERING addict....does that suit you better?.

Really? What does he do for his recovery? Does he go to meetings? Is he staying sexually abstinent his first year of recovery; just focusing on sorting himself out and not relationships?

[carpflounder]

PS....I'm glad that I could be the biggest laugh of the morning.

I don't want you to be the laughing stock, but jeblina, think about this and don't move in with this guy. You don't need a guy like that. Hear me out here this is coming from an addict I am telling you this for your own good.

[TAVS]

Carp, you've just earned back my respect....for now. ROFL

[Tone]

I like carp.