My girlfriend says i raped her

[cmacattack1]

This really is a scary situation to be in. Man, I wish drinking was a real excuse for all the shit that I have done and I even convinced myself that it was a proper excuse, but it isn't and it never will be. You even recalled her saying stop and still continued anyway. While I don't think it is often that this happens, maybe you should chill on the party front for a little while.

The most incriminating evidence of it all is actually you apologizing up the ass about it afterwards. If you heard about the whole Mel Gibson saga, the legal team says the worst tape was the one where he apologized and wanted to take her to dinner afterwards, because it showed that he acknowledged that what he did was wrong sort of like an admission of guilt.

If this is what she wants you have to let it be. Absolute and utter silence on your part, no more apologies, I think she knows that enough already. I know you are hurting man and want her back but don't dig yourself any bigger of a hole than you already have. The more you try to contact her now, the more you will piss her off and that is clearly not something you want to do right now. The longer this goes unreported, the better chance you have of steering clear of any legal repercussions.

[TXChris]

Dear Indie and Misombra

No I am not a cop. I am exactly what I said. A board certified forensic psychologist (Ph.D.) About 75% of my practice is assisting defense attorneys with cases of false sexual abuse/assault allegations. The salient issue is RISK. Likely the matter wil be dropped but she broke up with him after the fact. I was not speculating on a conviction I was suggesting a proactive protective intervention. The flag is so small it is hard to make out but in the USA every state requirs sexul offenders to register. A lot of people can't afford a top notch defense and end up in plea bargains and also end up as registered sexual offenders. Even if you never go to trial your reputation is damaged,you may be financially ruined and you go through tremendous stress and depression.I concur that a conviction is unlikely but I have also been in situations where the DA may pursue prosecution simply because they aren't busy. Remember it really does not cost the state anything to try a case. The costs are already there. Salaries, courthouse, police etc. The cost is the same whether or not they are trying a case. I do not think he raped her. But if she feels betrayed or vindictive she can cause him a lot of grief. That is why I suggested some steps to cover his ass. He should at least consult with an attorney. Oh BTW there is a 2nd concern...Civil Liability. You can be sued for sexual assault without a criminal conviction and the Burden of Proof is lower. OJ Simpson for example Not Guilty in the criminal case but found liable in the civil case. Better safe than sorry. Anyway sorry for the typos typing is not my long suit.

[nerdy_guy]

She broke up with you? Let her go, if you keep bugging her, you might really end up in jail. She already accused you with rape before, she can accuse you of whatever that might pop into her head next. Anyway, you should've just pulled out and jacked it off yourself in the first place.

[Raze]

I would say it would be rape because she told you to stop and you didn't. Technically, it is rape....I just think you were being a dick, but the way I see it, anyone can say that you raped them. However, a guy can't really say he got raped, only a girl can. It's just a messy situation. You need to be careful who you sleep with and take measures to protect yourself legally.

[girl68]

You know this but... you selfish jackass.

[Sonrisa]

i think that we need to consider ages, weight categories and size of his penis to determine is this situation constitutes a rape.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh BTW there is a 2nd concern...Civil Liability. You can be sued for sexual assault without a criminal conviction and the Burden of Proof is lower. OJ Simpson for example Not Guilty in the criminal case but found liable in the civil case. Better safe than sorry. Anyway sorry for the typos typing is not my long suit.

This^ is a really good point. I agree with whoever said he should stop discussing this with her. She could record him next time.

I'm still mindful that he hasn't actually said if they had sex before. If this was their first time and they were only recently dating, it is possible he really did rape her. Like Raze said, he does admit she told him to stop. It will still be nearly impossible to prove sexual assault tho, unless he admits openly what he wrote here. These situations can get so messy.

[lovefool87]

I used to be best friends with a girl who has questionable morals. One night, she got drunk with co-workers (one of which was her ex boyfriend whom she'd had sex with numerous times after the break-up) and ended up crashing at her exes house.

Even though she was dating someone new, according to her, she woke up and her ex was on top of her.

Because of her questionable morals, and the fact that she later confessed to hooking up with my boyfriend when we were still dating, leads me to believe that she intentionally cheated on her bf (not the first time either), but then felt bad so claimed rape on her ex, even though she was drunk and its pretty obvious that the sex was consensual.

Sadly, her ex was arrested for rape and she got to play the victim to anyone who would listen.

I wish I had stepped up and become a character witness for the defense in that case. He was actually a good guy and she was NOT a good girl.

[SapphireBerry]

I think this was a dumb idea full stop.

[Sorensenp]

no, you didn't rapped her.
you were in the stage where nobody can stop himself.
talk to your gfrnd and try to remind that I love you and I can't do anything without your permission but that was the moment that I didn't control myself and your gfrnd will understand..

Good luck frnd.

[hello1]

You better hope she doesn't report you to the police!
Lesson learnt, yeah? NO MEANS NO

Current update is that my girlfriend broke up with me.

i am completely devastated. she says that she can't be with someone who has disrespected her. she also said that if we did get back together then she would lose respect for herself. i tried to do everything i could to make it up to her. Not drink at the next party we went to, promise her i won't drink, take her out to lunch, talk to her, ask for forgiveness, tell her i love her with all my heart... but she says she can't let herself be with me.

I am so heartbroken.