Relationship Effort

[StrictlyProf]

Update (Hopefully Clynn and others will respond)

She came over the other night we ordered in dinner watched a movie. We made out as usual and she felt comfortable being in my room on my bed cuddling and watching a movie. I did however proceed further by caressing her breasts and just as I was about to go down she said pulled away and said “ I don’t want to go to fast”. Now, I smiled and agreed. Maybe I shouldn’t force it. I as u know really like her long term but want to make sure I aint getting played. I am just used to a girl being into me and calling me all the time as opposed to once a day at night. It doesn’t appear she is dating anyone and I thought that being that comfortable with me would create some attachement. Am I over analyzing un-necessarily. Would you say she is into me? …

[Tone]

Yes, man, how many times do we have to tell you? She just likes to take things slow, so stop trying to force things. When she's ready to go further she'll let you know... first she has to feel comfortable enough and how is she going to be comfortable when everytime you guys make out you're swingin for that homerun?

Some food for thought: If I were in your situation I'd love it! I think it's sexy that a girl would be so conservative and not just ready to sleep with anyone so fast... it is #1) A challenge to see if I can be that guy to break the mold... #2) A turnon knowing she isn't easy and probably hasn't been with a lot of guys... #3) Will make doing stuff and sex SO MUCH better when you FINALLY do EARN it.

Just be patient, or send her my way.

[Junsui]

You are afraid of being played? How so? Because she doesn't want to have sex with you right now? IMO, it sounds like she's taking it slow so she doesn't get played by You. If you keep pushing to have sex, she maybe afraid that you're only into her for that and that you will leave once you get it. She is obviously into you like we have already said. She just wants to take it slow. Send her Tone's way.

[StrictlyProf]

Tone,

You are bang on dude. Thats what I was thinking exactly. Ur absolutley right ... I feel the same way ... but I guess its just my insecurities that as time goes on she may change her mind. But once I do earn it oh man will it be good ... but I don't wanna rush it either I to be honest just like being with her and thats the comfortable thing. Although I guess in some way I think sex somewhat makes a girl commited to u ....

But thanks for ur advice dude,... ur the best as always

[clynn]

She totally likes you, you don't have to worry about a thing.

I have never, ever been the type to call a guy upteen-million times a day. And now with my current guy I don't even call him every day. now, after several months, we're starting to talk close to every day.....but....hey there is lots and lots of time for that kind of intimacy (if it is going to develop) and it will be real and true and not of the crash and burn variety which I believe the other kind is.

Tone,

You are bang on dude. Thats what I was thinking exactly. Ur absolutley right ... I feel the same way ... but I guess its just my insecurities that as time goes on she may change her mind. But once I do earn it oh man will it be good ... but I don't wanna rush it either I to be honest just like being with her and thats the comfortable thing. Although I guess in some way I think sex somewhat makes a girl commited to u ....

But thanks for ur advice dude,... ur the best as always

[Lloyd95]

Clynn-don't you have a Christmas party to get ready for?

[clynn]

Tee, hee heee. Oh , yessss, I dooooooo!!!

He even counted down to it last night when we were talking on the phone! ha ha.
2 1/2 weeks until the Christmas Party he said. .

Also, though - I think that is because the time crunch is on for him because as he is the M.C. he pretty much is responsible for figuring out the agenda and entertainment for the evening so he has work to do....

I love it personally every single other detail he is going to be taking care of - when we are leaving, where we are staying, how we are getting there. I just need to pack and be ready (on time!).

Or, right....this isn't my thread. Sorry.

[Tone]

clynn you are so cute...

[StrictlyProf]

Update for everyone who was kind enough to give me advice,

So I took everyone's advice and did not go for the home run for the last 3 weeks.

So yesterday she came over and we were cuddling and making out etc .. I tried to slip a finger in a certain area and she pulled me away. this sparked a conversation about "Sex" and we discussed the issue.

Apparently she has not had sex before and wants to remain a virgin for someone she feels comfortable with "ie. husband". She was wearing a "thong" I thought damn this is nice ... I told her I felt that sex was a big part of the relationship and I respect her decision but if you care about someone you should never have regrets.

Guys what should I do ... she claim apparently "I feel comfortable with you and have done more with you than anyone else" ... I think something is shady here ... I don;t wanna be "husband" material and get this act if it is or perhaps she is being honest.

She said "Its not you but me" .. she is very self concious about her body etc ...

How should I handle this... We are going to the Bahamas in 2 weeks together for 3 nights ... shoudl I cancel ... I was hoping for intamacy and just being with her but if thats not happening ... can't go to the bahamas and not have sex? ... please help ...

Am i wasting my time.... I mean i want a good girl but not a virgin if thats true ... I want someone who knows what their doing ...

Tone if u can help that would be great ...

[Tone]

UGH - I think you should cancel and breakup because I honestly don't think you're the right guy for her to lose her virginity to. I'M VERY SORRY but this is HONESTLY how I feel...

I understand it is frustrating for you, as being physical is very important - but what's even more important is her being comfortable to lose something as important as her virginity. Something you refuse to respect. You might ACT like it to her but look at the way you talk to us here - where you can get out your true feelings and thoughts on the subject without any risk of gettin in any real trouble. You'd consider cancelling a trip to the BAHAMAS with your girlfriend because you guys MIGHT NOT HAVE SEX??

My goodness fella... and then you didn't take our advice and you keep on tryin to take things further and further instead of letting her dictate how things go in the bedroom. There is a fine line between taking control as a man and respecting when a girl wants to take things slow. In that case you have to totally let her dictate how things go and only take those little stabs at goin further when you're getting clear body reads on her. You have to make her WANT IT - trust me I been there. Make HER put YOUR HANDS down there.

Geez guy.. had you played this right things could have been so beautiful... if you had just stopped reachin that finger down, stop gettin rejected by her, stop turnin her off to the thought of havin sex with you - if you had shown that you completely 100% respected her decision on taking things slow physically - I bet those couple nights in the Bahamas would have been AMAZING.

Again I really am sorry if I offend you.. but I'm just being HONEST.. take it for what it's worth.

[Junsui]

I agree with Tone. If you are wanting someone more experienced, don't push her to be something she doesn't want to be. End it and find someone else.

[StrictlyProf]

Tone,

As much as that hurt to see your response. I respect you the same. Your absolutely right ... I perhaps need someone experienced and I screwed things up ... I can only thank myself for that ... :-( ... your right I will end things ... I will let u all know how it goes ... thanks again Tone ... I will search for the right one for me ...