Why has he turned me into a booty call?

[Lilly328]

Why not talk to him about where you two are going? Is it a relationship you want or be his booty call?

[clairere]

No that's not why I slept with him. I do it because I want to and I want to date him too. If we didn't start out as dating in the first place I would not be spreading my legs for him, call it easy if you want but I made the decision to sleep with him even though "this" is going on.

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I haven't really had the guts to. I like casually seeing but of course I want this to head towards a relationship not backwards to a booty call.

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No I didn't mean anything bad towards him when I wasn't texting and making plans. I wasn't attentive no but I wanted to take things really slow although I didn't tell him that, I thin I headed towards the opposite by not showing interest. I do agree with you know that you say it that his actions isn't right, I don't understand why he made it his mission to sleep with me suddenly. It's a mess, I don't know what to do.

[basilandthyme]

You need to talk with him and find out how he's feeling about this. No amount of guesswork and analysis can replace an actual conversation.

Perhaps I'm old school, but I always think that if you know someone well enough to have sex with them, you should be able to have a conversation with them too.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, first off, I don't think you are a mess. I think most people know what it is like to want to be with somebody who doesn't want us in the same way, or to feel hung up on somebody when maybe you really should just move on. It happens to all of us at some point or another. In a way, I think it is kind of a good thing. It shows that, in your heart, you still really want that deep connection with somebody. Trust me, I've experienced the alternative. I've lost hope, hit rock bottom, and given up on the idea of ever finding anybody. I've shut down and decided to just close off to the world before. It sucks. It feels so empty and meaningless.

As much as it sucks to be crazy about somebody when they don't seem to feel the same, and/or be crazy about somebody when you know maybe you shouldn't.... it is nothing compared to the soul-crushing feeling of having given up. The thing is, I just think it is time for you to realize that connection you want so badly seems like it just isn't going to happen with this guy. You gave it a shot and he chose to play games and use you as his late night booty call instead of take the relationship seriously.

Now, you say at first you were trying to take it slow. You know something? Exactly what is wrong with that? You had every right to try to take it slow if that was what you felt was right at the time. Now, maybe he didn't want to take it slow, but it sounds like once he made that clear, you tried to make more of an effort.

I mean, if it would make you happy, then I hope I am wrong in my estimation of him. I hope he isn't intentionally playing with you and that talking to him you could actually get things back on track. It's just that what I hope even more is that if that doesn't turn out to be the case, I hope you'll care enough about yourself to realize that this is not the right match for you. If it works out with him, then great, but don't waste your time waiting for somebody who is only going to play games with you.

I think we all understand how hard it can be to get over somebody when you really thought there could have been something special there, but believe me, you will find somebody who will make you feel that all over again. A million times more, even, and they will actually feel the same way, rather than stringing you along like this. Once again, good luck to you.