I slept with my brother, how can I save our relationship?

[searock]

As I suggested before, the Rape Crisis Centers would be a good and free place to start.

Why would it be? She wasn't raped.

[YoungCosmo]

.....don't be so obtuse..She clearly said rape crisis centers offer services for trauma and they don't all have to be rape..

[Wakeup]

I'd call first if she's going to consider a rape crises centre. I'm not sure that they'd consider her trauma there. I'd assume that they hardly have the resources for those that were actually raped never mind those that chose to have sex with whom they did and now feel conflicted about it.

Op should seriously consider talking to a personal councellor if she can't get past her own guilt. She needs it anyway if she's having trouble coming to terms with a mother who abandoned her who is now passed away. That is enough to deal with there. Add having sex with an non-biological brother and the guilt it's caused her is reason for having ongoing sessions. (IMNSHO)

[YoungCosmo]

Well, that's an even better idea!

[searock]

.....don't be so obtuse..She clearly said rape crisis centers offer services for trauma and they don't all have to be rape..

Oh okay, my bad, I missed that part.

[Ileana]

Guys, thank you, but the question is not whether I need help from the therapist or not, the question was how can I fix it, how to save our relationship? How do I say politely to my brother that I lied about loving him, without him getting hurt, or that I want us to forget about what happened?

[YoungCosmo]

Uhh...maybe a therapist can help you with that...That is such an unorthodox thing to happen that most posters on this forum or any other can't really relate and thus help you using personal experience..

[Wakeup]

^^^ exactly!

[phantogram]

You need to talk to a therapist or some sort of professional about this. There is no forum on the internet that is properly equipped to help you with this. Best of luck!

[TablesandChairs]

There's no magic potion, you have to simply tell him the truth. Explain that you were shocked/sad after receiving the news about your mum and used him as a crutch, which has led you to feeling a huge amount of guilt. Explain that you love him as a brother and that you want nothing else of a romantic nature to transpire between you as it would be very damaging for the family, for you and for him too. Simply put, it was a mistake.

You can't 'fix' the situation entirely, but you can be honest and stand your ground. He will get over it eventually. It's a messy situation but ignoring it won't solve anything. It might take some time before you two get be 'normal' around each other but what's done is done and cannot be undone.

[Ileana]

There's no magic potion, you have to simply tell him the truth. Explain that you were shocked/sad after receiving the news about your mum and used him as a crutch, which has led you to feeling a huge amount of guilt. Explain that you love him as a brother and that you want nothing else of a romantic nature to transpire between you as it would be very damaging for the family, for you and for him too. Simply put, it was a mistake.

You can't 'fix' the situation entirely, but you can be honest and stand your ground. He will get over it eventually. It's a messy situation but ignoring it won't solve anything. It might take some time before you two get be 'normal' around each other but what's done is done and cannot be undone.

It's a bit too harsh, but the idea is correct. I just can't bring myself to speak to him, as it will hurt my brother and therefore me, when it turns out I am a big fat liar, who literally had used him. Nevertheless, you, guys, are right, I can't run forever, so I am thinking of calling my brother. Only now I've realized that it's a pure nighmare for him and he is probably freaking out.