How should I proceed?

[tbwco]

Well if what you're saying is correct (and I believe it probably is) I should just continue on the same course.

[RogerWilco]

Well if what you're saying is correct (and I believe it probably is) I should just continue on the same course.

Well, yes, but don't fall back into the trap of giving too much. You can get back in contact with her, hang out, whatever, but still maintain some element of mystique and aloofness, or at least be aware of yourself and what you're doing.


Wow I'm such a hypocrite. I think I just advised someone else that playing games was stupid and that I hate having games played with me. Haha. But seriously, if this is the game you're playing, make sure you're playing it the right way and you don't just go rushing back to her gushing all over her.

[tbwco]

Advice is much appreciated and what I hate is the "games" that you have to play. I was in an 8 year relationship so I don't understand the games anymore. But I hear what you're saying and will keep things the way I have them.

[Tone]

It's tough. Usually the reason she (or any girl) DOES contact you after a little bit of "downtime" or separation is BECAUSE you've successfully made it appear as though, while you may be interested, you still have your own shit to do and she's not necessarily the number one priority in your life and you're not fawning over her. That tends to make girls want you more. They want what they can't have, and don't want what they can have.

Yes, I agree.

Wow I'm such a hypocrite. I think I just advised someone else that playing games was stupid and that I hate having games played with me. Haha. But seriously, if this is the game you're playing, make sure you're playing it the right way and you don't just go rushing back to her gushing all over her.

Yeah I know what you mean... it's hard to sit here and say "I don't play games" or "I hate people who play games" when you have to do shit like this... but in these type of situations it's pretty much play or be played.. ya know? I don't really qualify this type of behavior as 'game playing'.. because he's made it clear he's interested in her, but at the same time he's not going to allow her to take advantage of that. If anyone wants to call that playin games, be my guest - I call it defending your self-respect and protecting your emotions.

[tbwco]

I've been following the advice I've received here and I must say, it's working pretty well. I have been calling her about once a week and only talking for 5-10 minutes just to ask how she's doing and what not. She's called me a couple times as well, I'm just trying my best to read the situation. I called her a few days ago at work and her grandfather had just passed away. I basically said all I could to make her feel better and when she got off work, she called me back, which really surprised me. Is this is a good sign? I think about this girl CONSTANTLY and am trying my best not to give too much as you guys have said. After a few months of this now, is that still the recommended approach?