He Won't Masturbate In Front Of Me?

[DoesntMatter]

I love this thread

[jr1960]

Your partner must be related to my ex-wife ..... I remarried 10 years ago it is very erotic to masturbate in front of your partner and MORE erotic to watch your partner masturbate. We sometimes do it while watching each other.

[Gratedwasabi]

I love this thread

Something about women talking about wanting to masturbate infront of guys and some spirited discussion makes me agree. This thread is officially.. MAN APPROVED.

[ShellyZ]

Lock yourself in the bathroom if you want to masturbate in the middle of the night while he's asleep in bed. Isn't that what guys do if they want to masturbate while there are other people around? It's just common courtesy. Maybe your boyfriend just wants to maintain a little mystery in the relationship? I mean, if he said he didn't want to piss in front of you, would you barge into the bathroom while he's using it and insist on watching him, because you feel entitled to witness every private moment he has? When someone slams a door in your face, it means "GET OUT."

[smackie9]

Something about women talking about wanting to masturbate infront of guys and some spirited discussion makes me agree. This thread is officially.. MAN APPROVED.

Can you imagine if this thread was about bum sex lol

[HeartIsAching]

I don't see why you insist on making this a big deal when he has clearly told you he isn't interested. If you were the male involved in this relationship, and he the female, everyone would be jumping down your throat and telling you what a bastard you are being.

Everyone has preferences. I prefer a man close the bathroom door when he is using it. I don't care how many other people leave the door open, and I know urination and defecation are normal bodily functions; I STILL don't want to see it.

You should demonstrate more resect for his preferences and stop nagging him, or find someone who is a better match.

Jeez, everyone seems to think that just because they want something, they have a right to hound their significant other into giving it to them.

Abso-freakin'-lutely. Wife and I like the door CLOSED when we're in the bathroom. If I want to go in there for some reason, I KNOCK. If she says "Gimme a minute" I go away. If she's in the tub, or brushing her teeth or whatever, no biggie. We've TALKED about masturbating in front of each other, but it's never really happened, as neither one of us is terribly good at keeping our hands off the other when we get nekkid.

If your BF has said he doesn't want to, then leave him the hell alone about it. Quit pushing for something that'll make him uncomfortable. If he REALLY wanted you do do his entire soccer team, would you like it if he kept asking after you said no? What's the harm, really? It's not like your vagina will wear out.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm not idly complaining; I came here for advice.

Advice on how to force him to comply with your wishes. Nice.

[Lexcessca]

LOL... I must say, I love this thread too! At the very least the responses from some people on this forum are interesting even if they aren't remotely helpful. It's fascinating to see what people consider helpful advice, not to mention their perspective on relationships.

If my boyfriend were so sensitive as to be offended by me bringing up the topic of masturbation, (because there IS a profound difference between nagging, and discussing something - if nobody else here trusts that I'm adult enough to know there is a difference, then here's some advice for you: Nagging comes from ONE person; Discussing is a TWO-way thing) there is no way we'd have lasted as long as we have. It's also interesting to witness other women declaring that I'm nagging him, hounding him, etc. Is it just an accepted norm that if a woman wants something, she is automatically "nagging"? Or is it just an accepted norm here that communication between two people in love is automatically assumed to be something forceful, unwanted, pushy - negative? I am very, very glad that isn't the general perspective of communication in my relationship.

No two people are going to go through life wanting the same things. It would be unrealistic to expect that. Compromises need to be made here and there, and I'm fortunate to have a partner who deeply values honesty and being open about our individual needs. I'm happy to say we are discussing this in-depth and he is starting to question why he feels the way he does about this, which is progressive for both of us, in any case. It was a fascinating conversation - we covered much more than just masturbation, but taboo issues surrounding sexuality which seem to have no reason to exist. We are listening to each other, and agreeing to take this slow while continuing to speak about why this barrier has been up, and questioning why it needs to be there, if it does at all. There is no automatic rejection from either party here on ANY issue; we appreciate discussion without the other being instantly shot-down. There are no "slammed doors" here.

My partner wants and lovingly encourages me to speak about things which are on my mind, and I endeavour to make it just as clear to him that he speak about anything on his mind which might be troubling him.
It's saddening that so many people here - a love advice forum, of all places - have an automatically ugly perception of communication in a relationship: so many 'closed doors' .

HeartIsAching - Comparing my expressed desire for more open masturbation in my relationship, to my partner wanting me to "do an entire soccer team" is frankly ridiculous. I hope I don't need to explain why.

[ShellyZ]

Asking for what you want is fine. But I hope you can accept his answer, whatever it may be. If his final answer turns out to be NO, will you be able to accept that?

[smackie9]

Oh god this will never end....

[FudgeSociety]

Well I'm a guy and I can definitely say i would be way too self conscience to masturbate in front of my girlfriend. I really can't honestly tell you why! That's just how I am. I can think of a few things but don't hold me to this. He might be afraid because he doesn't want you to laugh at him. Masturbation is pretty silly in a guy's head, and we just can't see how it is arousing to you women. Now I completely know it is, my girlfriend has told me this. But I don't understand why and I don't want to admit that she's turned on by me stroking one off. Now watching you masturbate is a different story. I have had previous girlfriends that can't orgasm by penetration alone, as well as the one I'm dating now. And since I want to pleasure her completely, we will get into the doggie position, while she uses a vibrator on her clitoris, I slowly penetrate her. Maybe offer this to him and he might be for it. But getting him to masturbate in front of you will be like pulling teeth, I promise you. If he's anything like me, HE WON'T BUDGE.

[smackie9]

I have another idea. Sure just straight masturbation might make him feel vulnerable like standing outside with no clothes on but it could be done in a more pleasing way. Try it like they do in porn, hands free blowjob where he he can hold and control his penis. He can stroke it a couple of time when you pull away. And when he is ready to cum he get himself off for a money shot, face shot or pearl necklace. Ya have to make it fun for him right? I'm sure he will see the benefits to it.

[smackie9]

Well I'm a guy and I can definitely say i would be way too self conscience to masturbate in front of my girlfriend. I really can't honestly tell you why! That's just how I am. I can think of a few things but don't hold me to this. He might be afraid because he doesn't want you to laugh at him. Masturbation is pretty silly in a guy's head, and we just can't see how it is arousing to you women. Now I completely know it is, my girlfriend has told me this. But I don't understand why and I don't want to admit that she's turned on by me stroking one off. Now watching you masturbate is a different story. I have had previous girlfriends that can't orgasm by penetration alone, as well as the one I'm dating now. And since I want to pleasure her completely, we will get into the doggie position, while she uses a vibrator on her clitoris, I slowly penetrate her. Maybe offer this to him and he might be for it. But getting him to masturbate in front of you will be like pulling teeth, I promise you. If he's anything like me, HE WON'T BUDGE.

Statistically 90% plus women cannot reach orgasm on penetration alone.

[Lexcessca]

Thanks so much for your help smackie Things are getting better!

[smackie9]

Thanks so much for your help smackie Things are getting better!

You're a smart girl.....I think you can figure things out just fine on your own. btw you are welcome!