you think my boyfriend is controlling?

[IncognitoSir]

Yah i get what your saying about the whole pants situation..the situation was at the time was that him and I were at the beach with some friends and one night we made plans to go out to a club, well 2 girls in our group wanted to go to this one store to get an outfit..so we all followed them. He had mentioned to me that he needed new shorts the day before, because he didnt bring enough for the trip. So when he went to the store he was thinking about buying a pair and then saw the price and jerkingly asked if id pay for them...thats completely different then him mentioning to you that he needs pants..and then going to the store one day urself seeing a pair that hed like and graciously buy a pair because you want to and not because he was asking you to.

good luck with treating ur man like a king..let me know when he starts walking all over you!

Really?? So if a girl treats her man like a KING he will eventually walk all over her? wow, you must of dated some true losers in your lifetime. Where I'm from, we reciprocate the king treatment with QUEEN treatment. Not to mention, a chick usual has a damn good reason to why she trreats her man so good..........( Its because he treats her just as good)

[APimpNamedSlick]

I didn't read anything you wrote but I can tell you that the guy is supposed to have 100% of the say in the relationship

[girl68]

I unofficially unthanked that post ^ "boo button"

[Kagerou]

I didn't read anything you wrote but I can tell you that the guy is supposed to have 100% of the say in the relationship

Something wrong with you.

[lilxcutie53]

yah, i dont believe at all that the guy has 100% of the say in the relationship at all..things should be equal. I mean if you treat your man like a king and u dont get anything back from it..then thats walking all over you, but if it goes.both ways then its ok. Like i have to be really careful in my relationship of how much I give to him, because if I do too much for him..he wont do it back. so I have to make sure how much we give to eachother is balanced. and for just background info..were 22 and dont live together. we both live at home with our parents since weve been home from school. The reason why I didnt feel bad about going over to his house when my show was on because he was just having a few of his guy friends over and I would of been the only girl. and we would of just been drinking and playing pool which I do with him all the time, so I think its ok to have a few hours to myself and watch the show I wanted to watch. and I would of gone over to his house afterwards, but the show ended at 12 and he gets up at 6am for work and he told me on the phone he was going to bed soon. So I dont see how thats such a biggggg deal. especially if I am at his house all the time and he was with his friends anywyays..

[girl68]

It is now a big deal becasue you're a princess. Oh and real grown up relationships don't keep score- you give 'casue you want to, not because he give that much and you'll give this much back.

[lilxcutie53]

It is now a big deal becasue you're a princess. Oh and real grown up relationships don't keep score- you give 'casue you want to, not because he give that much and you'll give this much back.

How old are youuu? do you do everything and anything with your boyfriend? Do you not ever spend time by yourself watching a show or doing something that your boyfriend isnt interested in doing? how am i being princess? Its like ive given you one situation where I choose to spend 1 night watching a show by myself instead of hanging out wiht my boyfriend and his friends...as if I do that alll the time....how is that in anyway shape or form of being a princess. I asked him if he wanted to go to dinner with me at a certain time (730) because I had made plans with my tutor that I couldnt rearrange, so its not my fault he didnt want to go to dinner with me at that time.

[girl68]

Sweetie I'm older than you... and yes I do nearly everything with him, and I will do practically everything for him- not because he makes me, or because I have to it's 'cause I can't help wanting to make him a happy, happy man.

I spend tons of time on my own. I go dancing, dinner, drinks, coffee, shopping without him often. I do not choose to do this OVER spending time with him- I just do things on my own here and ther. You clearly CHOOSE TV over a lover, I wouldn't do that. My guy actually means a helluva lot more than a damn show- any show.

Your attitude screams princess you remember when you say men *should* pay. Well I hope, you cook, clean and not work because if he *should* pay you *should* be a homemaker.

I don't respond well to "should" anything.

[lilxcutie53]

So last night my boyfriend and I and some of his friends went to a bar. When we got there we saw that there was a cover fee of $5, so I asked the guy at the door where the closest ATM was and then my bf offered to pay for me to get in. Of course I thanked him for paying like I always do and then asked him if he wanted me to get him a beer since he paid for me to get in. and he said, yes, so I bought him one and he didnt ever say thank you. whenever i offer to pay for anything i dont think hes ever said "Thank you" once, and we've been dating for 10 months. Thats why I get frustrated.

[Kagerou]

You should be telling him that, how can you expect him to improve if he doesn't know he's doing wrong?

[Mish]

Look at how he's treated me explained in the posts above and then compare and see you is better? me or him

The said posts above that clearly show she is treated worse in this relationship

he said that he was just gonna have a bunch of dudes over and I had said.."yah im not gonna come, i think i need to stay home" and then he said "yah, its probably for the best" nooo idea what that means..its funny cuz most of the time we do hang out with his friends I am the only girl. so whether or not he just wanted to have the guys over, I dont know..but if that was the case, he didnt come across that way...and now i sorta feel offended...

I just feel like im always the one bending and things like that..its very hard because I feel like he has these pre-assumption that all girls are princesses and gold diggers and take advantage of guys and stuff lieke that. but thats not me at all....at the beginning of our relationship we had issues of who paid for dinner, and i kinda expected him to, well just cuz isnt that what a guy is supposed to do? he always seemed like he wanted to split the bill..now he pays for me, but then gets pissed off at the same time and make jokes about how he has to stop being the sugar daddy and that I need to take him out to dinner and stuff like that. are girls supposed to pay for guys? I thought it was the guys job as the boyfriend to want to pay all the time. so now it sometimes can be an issue.

and his friends at home are losers.

I lol'ed

[lilxcutie53]

Yah it kinda makes me want to start being inconsiderate so he sees how it feels! and also something i notice is that..whenever he wants to do something with his friends, like go out or something and they dont feel like it or say they have no money, he bribes them and says that he will pay for them and actually does..almost acts like hes desperate..its so weird..

[IndiReloaded]

There is nothing wrong with doing your own thing. Yes, sometimes even over wanting to spend time with your partner. So long as noone is being disrespectful and communication is good, I don't see a problem.

Relationships where people expect the other to be at their beck and call run into problems eventually. A bit of independence is a good thing, IMO.

As for the paying issue, didn't she post how she bought him a beer after he paid her cover fee? Sounds fair to me. He just needs to be told to exchange 'sure' for 'thanks' and that minor issue is solved.

[nerdy_guy]

So last night my boyfriend and I and some of his friends went to a bar. When we got there we saw that there was a cover fee of $5, so I asked the guy at the door where the closest ATM was and then my bf offered to pay for me to get in. Of course I thanked him for paying like I always do and then asked him if he wanted me to get him a beer since he paid for me to get in. and he said, yes, so I bought him one and he didnt ever say thank you. whenever i offer to pay for anything i dont think hes ever said "Thank you" once, and we've been dating for 10 months. Thats why I get frustrated.

I read your posts, you sound like an Asian who grew up in Asia. As an Asian guy, yes, we feel that we should be paying for all dates. But that is because it is in our culture, and that is what we've been taught. Because it shows that men are capable providers (Again, culture). But of course, Asian girls are also taught to reciprocate that by being a homemaker and always gives respect to the guy's final decision. That is our 'Traditional give and take' concept. I believe yo don't follow this tradition, and instead just pick out whatever is convenient for you as an excuse.

Base on the quoted post, I believe it is quite basic to bring enough money when travel. I'm saying cash, not card. Were you hoping that your boyfriend pays for your cover fee so as to deliberately not bring enough cash? Of course your guy would be willing to pay for your cover fee. $5 is not enough reason to waste time running around for an ATM. If you buy him a beer, it should be because he is your boyfriend and not because he paid for your cover fee. And I think you wanted to be thanked because the beer you bought costs more than the cover fee, and not because of common courtesy reasons.

Based on this thread, it seems that you tend to put some sort of a price tag over for every goods and services being rendered, and that is not very healthy. You do things out of love. Otherwise, hire an accountant for a chaperon so that he can do cost analysis and gives you a report whether you or your boyfriend has overspent for each other.

[Mish]

I deplore your accusation of lilxcutie53, nerdy_guy! Didn't you know that it is the guys job as the boyfriend to want to pay all the time for his gf and the job of the girl is to find fault and feel offended for any irrelevant/insignificant issue that comes up and call his friends losers? What century do you live in, 21st?