Seriously, how to approach a stranger girl

[Only-virgins]

It depends on age, (and prior to hitting 17-18, their perception of their own value is pretty low)..

Now, i'm not one to spit stuff out there for the heck of making someone feel bad.. and quite honestly.. I like you OV.. you're a really good guy, and you say it like it is.. I totally agree with you, it would be a much better place if everyone would be honest, no games, and everything would be strait-up..

However, consider this.. women want to feel protected, want a man who has a high Survival & Replication value, and at least three trillion other things.. it would undoubtably be efficient for women to simply just ask; but notice the incentive for men who don't fit the bill to just lie in order to get with these women.. so instead, they have to play games and test.. and in doing so, women are constantly on "screaning" mode.. where attraction doesn't stand a chance.. they may see a nice guy (and by nice, I mean that hot, sexy, badass jock, which every guy looks up to and every girl wants to be with).. and he'll pay no attention to her yet.. and it'll drive her nuts.. maybe he'll say hi.. and then leave, all of a sudden she's thinking (omg! he talked to me, that felt awsome! ugh, if only he liked me..) and she's out of screaning mode and into "chase" mode..

Think of a cat, I know i've beaten this theory down to nothing at this point.. but it works.. if you toss it a rubber mouse, it won't play with it.. it's not fun playing with something that doesn't run away or present some kind of challenge, it's just not interesting.. the cat will either just sit there, or go away.. but tease the cat with it, then take it away, then tease it again, and take it away, now you got the cat interested, it will tear the house apart trying to play with that toy

Anyway, so for the phone-girl.. like I said, it's not her husband, it's her bf.. (but in either case, women are still willing to cheat, as long as it won't hold any consequences, and for as long as you don't make them think that you'll think less of them or judge them if they do).. women cheat far more than men do.. it's just that when women do it (it doesn't count.. tee hee)

WARNING: I don't think this is the case, but just watch out for it, because it's a really rough heartbreak avoided early.. (Imagine some girl who you're not interested in, but you know is interested in you constantly comes up to you; at first she's annoying, but she makes you feel good about yourself.. instead of throw her away and ignore her, you keep her around, ONLY because she makes you feel good about yourself.. she makes you feel that someone wants you, that someone likes you, that someone things you look good, etc) Now, imagine, that.. maybe.. just maybe.. "you're this girl".. ouch! This is exactly the situation you don't want to be in.. so be careful (not all signs of interest are legitimate; women often use them to get easily-manipulated guys to do things for them.. and guys often do.. which is why girls still use them)

I got it. Though I think that women prefer Rich guys over Jocks. Jocks are pretty much over-rated in every department and don't take that from me..hell no...I don't know myself but I do have female friends who are attractive..they think they are not shallow because they say they don't like the typical guys like that...but at the same time they are like "OMG look at that handsome doctor guy over there...omg!". Shallow!

It is an interesting theory and I do believe that you are right. Maybe not in every case but it rings true in many cases. To come and think of it ...it explains some other situations I have had. I think I have done that un-intentionally before if you know what I mean. I really wasn't interested and approached a girl a few times for legitimate other reasons and she later just wouldn't leave me the hell alone.

So, how do you make them chase you? How do you approach and not show interest at the same time? I mean, what do you say to make them think they are just being approached for something else and preferably not in a bar.

I don't understand this "defensive mode" that girls go into or as you put it "screening mode". I mean what is the point of it? That jock you mentioned doesn't sound like a good person who would take care of a family or have money in the first place other than his mommies wallet.

Thanks for the warning but I wouldn't fall for that. I could never be used.

[GrkScorp]

I don't understand this "defensive mode" that girls go into or as you put it "screening mode". I mean what is the point of it?

Great questions; and they're all answered in standard textbook psychology; the part in psychology that no professor feels is important enough to teach in class..

First of all "defensive mode" and what's the reason for "screaning"?

OK. both men and women have two different social values; on a basic level they are (Survival) & (Replication) "S & R".. Through history, men have looked towards women for high Replication value (looks) so that their offspring can more easily mate; women have looked towards men for high Survival value (in today's world; it's less physical, and more social status & financial) so that their offspring can survive.. On a subconsious level, men are attracted to women with high-R-value because it suggests more reproductive possibilities (more easily arroused and motivated to have sex), while women look at a man with high-S-value because it suggests more protection & security (applied to both her and her offspring).. so what are the implications?

A woman takes a much larger risk evolutionarily when she has sex. It's not enough that she's attracted to you, your "pair bond" must be there aswell. She must have some assurance that when she is pregnant back in the cave, you will stick around to bring her meat. Otherwise you could leave her with a kid alone and move to the next female; and then she's screwed. In addition to this fear; women also want to attract the best possible male; as can be said about men wanting to attract the best possible female. But WATCH THIS! high-S-value in men is more important to women; and high-R-value in women is more important to men.

For men, this is easy to quantify, which is why attraction is almost instant. For women however, S-value takes time to observe, and the road to attraction is a long and complex one. So, here is why you can see the need for "screaning/defensive mode".

1. If a male is too easily attracted to a female; the implications either suggest that he is only attracted to her R-value (which is a danger, and an evolutionary fear that women have that the male may leave them unprotected w/ a child; so this fires back to their brain, sending messages that the female interprets as this male behavior being unattractive); "To understand this; think about the converse; what is more flattering to you as a guy, if you overhear a woman calling you "cute/hot" or "loaded/he has tons of money"? It's almost insulting to hear the second!" But on top of that fear; an easily gained attraction on the male's part may also suggest that the male is of "lower social value" with respect to the female (in other words, the female is too good for him), which is also unattractive.

2. So the first part of screaning mode is to be defensive towards male approaches to filter out men who are only attracted to them physically (sex only), and for men who are attracted too easily (lower social value). The easiest way to "turn-off" this screaning mode is to simply come off as disinterested & disqualify yourself as a potential mate or partner (this will make women feel relaxed, and safe, around you; "it affords you a sense of trust, while also implying higher social value for you as a male!")

3. When "screaning/defensive mode" is turned-off; (even WHILE being turned off), the male will need to demostrate not only active disinterest "to afford him trust"; but also "higher social value" by displaying the following INDIRECTLY by not bragging to DIRECTLY showing these (as it loses credibility, show's you're trying to impress, which displays lower social value)..

- Preselection from other women (other girls like you)
- Appearing to be a leader of men
- Being supporter and protector of those you love
- Being non-needy (implies you are independent and of High Value)
- Being unaffected (not taking things to be a "big deal")
- Social Intellegence (Socially aware)
- Having a strong Identity and Presence (also called "frame")
- Emotional Stimulation (Giving her emotional stimulation)
- Being socially "in demand" (other people seek your attention & validation)

All of these display your High Social Value..

4. Because you came off as non-needy, not desperate, and disinterested; you have both shut down her primal defenses against disqualifying you; AND demostrated high value! Now, after you continue to demostrate high value; she will gain "interest" in you. Once she gains "interest" in you; she will start to "test" you. (Women do NOT test men they are not interested in; so consider this an Indicator of Interest)

5. When you successfully "pass" a test, she will be significantly more "attracted" to you; if you "fail" a test, she will be significantly less attracted. In addition to tests; she will want to push your "boundries". If you offer no resistance and allow her to walk all over you; you will boost her ego and flatter her with a sense of feminine power; but she will lose all attraction for you. If you offer resistance, she will feel secure and safe with you, and be more attracted. (A common test is her showing fake-disinterest and seeing how you respond; if you start to chase; DON'T chase, but be persistent, in the sense that you should not stop "gaming" her.. just don't do it in a needy, pushy way)

6. By this stage, you have build up strong "attraction" that she now feels for you; but the game has only started! This whole time you have been displaying active disinterest; the point being that WOMEN ARE THE SELECTORS! It is HER that has to CHASE you; and at this point; she will be looking for your attention and validation; afterall, she has reason to "she's attracted to you". It's important to SLOWLY, "bait" her into exposing positive aspects of her character and personality which you will indicate you are interested or attracted to. This shows that you are attracted to her S-value, that you are forming a "pair bond", and this displays on a primative level that you won't leave her after you mate with her, because you're not only attracted to her R-value. This step is by far the longest, but "seals the deal" in becomming bf/gf

7. After step-6, the next step is building comfort. Comfort takes the form of bonding conversations, physical familiarity and contact, it may also involve non-sexual kissing (no tongue or sexual stimulation). These are all important in building comfort & bonding. If you do not bond fast enough; she will grow frustrated with you and start losing interest (as she quickly seeks an other male to mate with); but take TOO long, and risk being in the friend zone! (hint: after comfort, comes seduction, and after seduction comes sex; so comfort is really the last thing i'm going to talk about here) But during comfort, you the female allows herself to become emotionally/physically/financially/and time invested in you, which acts to form a stonger bond; making it more costly to her to part with you.

This is the psychology of female attraction in a nutshell.. feel free to ask on specifics.. & best of luck!

[Gigabitch]

Grk, do you type, like, really really fast?

[GrkScorp]

So, how do you make them chase you? How do you approach and not show interest at the same time? I mean, what do you say to make them think they are just being approached for something else and preferably not in a bar.

Hahaha! that's a great question too.. I'm actually a little hurt you think I pick-up women at bars.. I just do this for fun, and only to get numbers.. me and my strait guy friends always have a Saturday night bet, it's a pretty popular game we used to play in college..

You give your friend $200, and for each girl's number you get, they have to give you $20 back. So; you rarely end up breaking-even, unless that's your goal and you stop at 10 numbers.. or else you either lose money, or make money; in either case, you win if you think about it.

Anyway, enough with that.. let's tackle the tough questions in order.

How to approach women and not show interest?

I'm not going to lie; this is the hardest part of the game. In fact, a rule amung guys is, when you open up a group of women, the guy who opens up has first choice on which girl he wants, wings get seconds. So, it IS hard, and it does take some trial&error, but there are plenty of idiots i've taught it to, and most of them can do it perfectly, so if they can do it, i'm 110% you can too.

What issues come into play, and how to "open" a group of women?

1. Personal space & comfort: This is actually the biggest one! When you approach a woman/women, you do NOT want them to feel like you are invading their space or make them feel uncomfortable. Why? Because they will ALL on instinct think "omg! when is this guy going to leave? if he doesn't leave soon, i'm going to leave". If the woman/women start thinking this; anything you say will sound like "blah blah blah". Untile they can't stand being polite anymore and find some way to be left unbothered (ex: leave, be rude to you and get you to leave, fakely open up and give you a fake number, predend they all have to go NOW!, etc)

- How to avoid this? Give them the sense of security that YOU actually can't stay for long, and that you have to go in a little while. Open up with statements like "I can't stay for long.. I was just leaving.. I actually have to go in 2 minutes..".. and 1-3 mins in the convo, slip one in again "it's a shame I can't stay too long, hmm.. I actually have to get going soon, etc".. around minute 3, stop saying this, and instead rock your body, look at your watch, etc to imply that you have to leave. This will actually make them more comfortable, and you won't encounter Case-Problem-1.

2. "I'm interested in you, hey baby, let's have sex": Case & Point, you're going over to a group of women, and one or more of them happen to be attractive. If this is the case, you are only one of the many men that has gone up to them to bother them with your attempt to get their attention, number, or sexual favor. At this point, these women have almost made it a habit to see a guy approaching them and talking to them as "hitting on them". If this is the case, even if you have made them feel "comfortable"; they are still in "screaning/defensive mode", and this obviously means bad news for you. ALSO! if they are left hanging under the impression that you're there to "hit on them" and you keep talking but it's obviously getting you nowhere, you're displaying low value for yourself and looking more unattractive.

- How to avoid this? There are a zillion creative strategies one can think of, the ones that work best though can fall into one HUGE category; (DISQUALIFYERS). You basically want to "disqualify" yourself as someone who is interested in any one of these women, especially the one your goals are set on! The strategy is keep this statement in the back of your mind "if this was an ugly girl, or a guy, would I do this or act this way? how would I act?". (Example: You approach a group, run a question to them, then, you pause as one of the girls is talking, you say "excuse me" and then blow your nose); (Example#2: After you blow your nose, you start to smell something and say "Ugh! What is that? Do you guys smell that? I think it's comming from there! :point to your target, then go up to her and smell around her: Ugh! I think it's YOU! Anyway, I'll stand right here :walk back to her friends:") What does this show? DISINTEREST (but NOT insulting anyone!), both very important. You want to show subtle & indirect disinterest as soon as possible (for women who are 8.5+ you want to constantly show disinterest, "active disinterest"). By doing this, the group of women will be less defensive, not feeling as if you are after them or their hot friend, so they won't be actively protecting her, and may start to open up to you. The hot girl won't feel like you're after her, and you'll strike her curiosity, and eventually interest when you win over her friends and they like you, and you feed them attention and validation, but practically ignore the hot girl, and continue to display disinterest to her exclusively, basic female psychology warrants that she will try to win over your attention and validation (this is where the game begins for you). Lastly; (indirect & subtle; body-language, tone of voice, and facial expressions are HUGE in conveying disinterest, don't point your body towards the group initially, and don't point your body towards the "target" until you feel you want to make her think she "earned" your validation/attention)

3. Plausable Deniability: Fact of life; women don't use logic to think, they use emotions. In fact, they first "feel", then "think". This process is called "backward rationalization". In order for it to occur in your favor in this case, you'll need an excuse. Allow me to explain. (Women don't want to feel like sluts, or be called sluts, but they do want sex, more than you'd believe, so let's say Girl-A wants to have sex desperately with Guy-A.. Guy-A says "Do you want to go to my place and have sex?".. even though she WANTS to, she HAS to say NO, she can't say YES. Why? Because saying YES, would make her responsible for what's about to happen, which she can never be, no matter what. So she needs an excuse to make it "plausably deniable". So guys that get laid ask the following question instead "Hey, have I showed you my new PS3? Come upstairs, I wanna show it to you, you'll love it!".. now she has an excuse, she obviously knows this is an invitation for sex, but it has "plausable deniability".. she can backwards rationalize to herself and others that "I went to his place to see his PS3, it was so cool, but then, one thing let to an other and oops! we has sex"). So, if you go up to a group, you won't even have time to complete Step-2 if you don't go in to talk with some "plausable deniability".. it will feel awkward and weird for the group.

- How to avoid this? Simple! Make a good excuse to talk to them! Don't go up to the group saying "hey ladies", "room for 1 more?", "want some company?".. that's obviously awkward! Instead, make up a story, and introduce it in the form of a question requiring their "female" opinion. First, this has plausable deniability; second, this will keep them talking long enough and get them all involved enough giving you both the time and comfort you need to introduce new conversational threads or slightly related stories into the mix. Notice, you want to transition from (Time Constraint, Question, "Opinions", Disqualifyer, Time Constraint, Questions, Story, Disqualifyer, Story, free-style conversation) The reason being is that if you keep asking questions, you convey that you are "trying to hang in the group.. like you're frantically looking for a rope or excuse to hang on to.. and this will display low value, and be unattractive".. so instead, make up a story with enough room to transition into short funny stories/jokes, and into interesting stories, etc.. the point being is to get the group involved, and then emotionally stimulate the group while displaying high value for yourself.. this will get the group to take your "bait".. and eventually (within 3-5mins) you would have "hooked" the group..

Note: The time-constraint has an other useful purpose; if you want to test to see that you've hooked to group.. look at your watch, and casually say "I actually have to get going REALLY soon :put on slightly sad/disappointed face:".. if the group actually insists or plays/acts polite to get you to leave; you've failed on hooking them.. if the group says "aww, no! don't go!.. blah blah..".. needless to say, you've hooked them..

[GrkScorp]

Grk, do you type, like, really really fast?

yeah, I just re-read the post, I type as I think to myself.. so i'm sorry for all the spelling errors

[Off2College]

Jeessuss you can write a textbook man

[Off2College]

well I just read your last long post. Do you any examples of quesiton stories to ask for a group of females? Nothing too cheesy like the lesbian thing..

[GrkScorp]

well I just read your last long post. Do you any examples of quesiton stories to ask for a group of females? Nothing too cheesy like the lesbian thing..

lol.. fine.. here are a couple; remember, in all of these, you have to be casually walking, body facing either your friends or away from them, and keep slowly walking around (you have to show willingness to walk; as if their group is not your destination).. slowly make it your destination, and say "I only have like 2 mins, I actually have to get going really soon..".. also important, your tone of voice should be relaxed.. remember.. you're just starting casual conversation, you're NOT hitting on anyone, REMOVE that concept from your head!

so.. here are some openers:

"hey, me and my friends were having a bet on who "lies" more, guys or girls?"

Simple, quick.. notice how fast and endless this opener can go..

"really!??!? I actually have to get back.. but why do you say that?!?"

at this point you can even disagree, offer an other view, your opinion as a guy, feed it back to her and let her answer again.. and you can actually start to run cases.. talk generally about what guys do, girls do.. this opener exploits ambiguity and can introduce a WORLD of other conversational threads..

(Strategy: it's short and simple; not much to ask, it can lead the conversation anywhere, although an easy opener; you should only use this on 6-8's, 9's & 10's will blast you and you won't get into the group..)

This next one is a personal favorite; works well with 7-8.5's and sometimes, A LOT of 10's really go for it if they're alone; not wise to use in a group of 8-10's or a group where there's a dominant 9 or 10)

"Can I ask you something? I'm picking out an anniversery present; but I seriously have no idea what to get.. I obviously know, not a vacum, (if appropriate, ie. the girl seems fun, feel free to add "and not a dildo", trust me, this is NEVER something a guy would say to someone he was interested in).. I actually have to go in like 2 minutes; but like, I don't know.. off the top of your head, what are the 5 best & worst things a guy can get as an anniversery present?"

Where is this going? Am I nuts you ask? I could fill up a mover's box with the numbers i've got using this.. She's going to inevitably ask you 1 of 2 questions:

1. It depends how many years you've been together.

You: Well, it's not for me, it's for my mother, it's my parents' (XXth) anniversery, but I have no idea what to get..

2. Who's anniversery is it? (smart girl; but I eat them for breakfast)

You: (try not to smile; or laugh, you were intending to tell her anyway, this is part of the plan, so relax, don't put on an unusual smile like she's "caught" you) Well, it's for my mother, it's my parents' (XXth) anniversery, but I have no idea what to get..

(Strategy: the second line to this opener is "i'm picking out an anniversery present"; which 1. disqualifies you as someone hitting on her because she'll assume you're talking about your wife/gf, 2. is a reasonable question to be asking, so it has "plausable deniability". This opener plays on alot of elements of female nature, but to keep things simple, how often do guys get anniversery presents for their own wife/gf and put much thought into it? When you first introduce yourself by a direct question as you disqualify yourself, she'll think "wow, that's sweet of him; ugh, all the good ones are always taken".. when she finally finds out that it's about your mother, her first though will be "wow! which guy does THAT? that's so sweet of him".. her second thought process will be "wait, so it's not for his wife/gf, I wonder if he's single"..)

This one gives her plenty of things to think about, five items, ten in total, both "best" and "worst".. this will act to emotionally stimulate her.. but you can also comment on some of the items she picks and lead it into an other conversational thread or joke about it.. (really? lol.. why on earth would you want that?).. you can also place an other disqualifyer in the conversation "O.K., I actually have to get going pretty soon, and i'm looking foward to getting this for THIS year's anniversery :friendly laugh:".. this builds comfort AND disqualifies you..

IMPORTANT: In all of these, you start off by showing a willingness to walk, and active disinterest with your body-language not pointing to her, relaxed and comfortable, tone of voice relaxed and confident, facial expression not reacting "smitten or in love" when she says something/laughs/smiles at you/touches you.. but as the conversation develops, you want to sit down and make yourself comfortable.. (this is body-language; if you're standing while talking to her, your body is sending out the message that your comfort comes second to getting attention from her or talking to her, so in effect it looks like you're TRYING to talk to her rather than casually ask a question, which makes her uncomfortable; so as you open, slowly start to find a chair, or lean back against a wall or something putting your comfort first! it's a huge plus.. secondly.. when talking to her, DON'T lean "in" or in front of you.. EVEN IF SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU! this screams "i'm interested and trying hard to get you to hear me so I can have your attention".. this is behavior only someone interested would display, so cut it out! even though her opinion is supposedly important to you, you want HER to lean in to hear you; it's also a test on your behalf, you start to build up compliance on her part..)

Advanced: What I like to do is actually sit down, take off my jacket while i'm sitting on the chair listening to her.. and then, when she starts to get to question 2-3 in the second category (worst/best) I interupt her "an other disqualifyer, something only someone uninterested would dare do".. and say.. "excuse me, I'll be right back.. I have to go to the bathroom.." then I walk off to go to the bathroom; maybe I have to pee, i'll fix my hair, check my breath, etc.. what did you just do? (you just tested her.. she could easily get out of this lock-in by saying "ugh, actually I have to go soon I was just about to leave, but it was nice talking to you, good luck with the gift".. you obviously messed up if she says this, this isn't good news.. BUT! the converse is she DOESN'T! what if she just says "ok, sure" or just waits? you just got her to comply in watching your jacket until you get back, this tests for interest and comfort.. PLUS it actually builds comfort and familiarity while you're gone, just don't be gone too long or else the lack of stimulation will cause her to want to leave.. p.s. when you leave, leave on a HIGH POINT in the conversation)

Very Advanced: I actually save this second one when my "target" or some other girl in the group asks me.. "so, do you have a girlfriend?".. I say.. "haha.. funny you should say that because I've been trying to figure out what to get for an anniversery present.. anniversery is going to be in two weeks.." (notice how ambiguous this is).. i'll later let them uncover that i'm talking about my parents' anniversery.. and this will create a small emotional roller-coaster ride for the women in the group.. "omg, I wonder if he has a gf.. aww crap, he does.. omg! does that mean he's single? I wonder if he has a gf" (back to square 1.. lol.. I just avoided their little "hoop" and artfully avoided the question)..

[Only-virgins]

I can't believe I just read all that. I need to take a breath. Ok....ok...I'm gonna contemplate a bit on all of that...and get back than.

[misombra]

wow. you guys really make approaching strange girls into something like neuro-surgery.

[TheSphinx]

wow. you guys really make approaching strange girls into something like neuro-surgery.

No doubt. Studying all of these different "pickup styles" might help initially (and there are so many out there), but my personal success with women tripled when I left "the game" behind.

Off, it sounds like you could still build some confidence in yourself. If you are able to read his posts, it sounds like Grk has read most of what I have and is willing to explain it here on this thread. It's a good starting point.

All I will offer is this: Make up your mind that you will accept no less than to be able to approach, meet, and date women you desire.

Though cliche, it is much like learning to ride a bike. This drive towards your goal will come with bumps and bruises, but you'll reap a fortune from both mistakes and successes.

~Sphinx

[GrkScorp]

No doubt. Studying all of these different "pickup styles" might help initially (and there are so many out there), but my personal success with women tripled when I left "the game" behind.

Well, this has nothing to do with "pick-up styles".. this is female psychology that David D'Angelo talks about, and when he first created his seminars, he actually had nice guys in mind. He was actually the first one to explore women's psychology. All what happened after that is that guys started comming along, like Mystery, and they applied it to "picking up" women; whereas D'Angelo was aiming towards guys who knew a girl from school/work/etc. Then, Mystery found Style, they published their books at around the same time, self-promoted eachother to gain credibility, and BAM! all of a sudden it's "their" method, and it's all of a sudden a "pick-up" style.. but in actuality.. the pioneer was D'Angelo; and he did it through the lens of exploring female psychology, specifically to target that "one girl".. not to pick up women..

I don't have anything against Mystery or Style, i've met Style in person, and he's an amazing guy.. but let's give credit where credit is due..

What's important is that; this isn't a way to pick up women, or to manipulate women, or even to approach women.. This has NOTHING to do with women at all.. This is a way of life.. you have to just tear down your boundries, get comfortable with yourself, learn to love meeting and talking to new people and complete strangers about anything and everything, and just enjoy life..

Personally, Michael Webb, David D'Angelo & Tracey Cox have shaped my mentality surrounding how to read people and create attraction; but attraction is only the first step.. attraction is not a choice, but the loss of attraction is; and though you can easily get a woman to feel it for you, she, her friends, or even you again, could all make her lose it.. and it's stuff you learn the more you just get out and talk to people and be more social, it doesn't matter how much you can memorize and analyze, all that matters is what you can do at that moment, how you react at that second, when there's no time to think, the only thing that matters is your reaction, your instinct, and that's something that I can't teach you, nobody can but you, and the only way to learn it is to just get out there, break down those boundries, and just talk to people..

I was out tonight with my musician friend, I told him to accessorize, so he toned it down; he wore a Beatles tie, the whole night, women were comming up to us with the same line "Hey, nice tie! I love the Beatles" at least 6 different groups of women.. I mean, it's one of those things that nobody can say they don't like.. it's like wearing a tie that says "Sliced Bread".. and i'm sure if you would, you'd have people in NYC comming up and telling you "omg! I love sliced bread".. So DO accessorize successfully, it'll pay off..

The thing that caught me off guard was meeting a model tonight while eating sushi.. my musician friend was talking to her photographer friend.. and this girl kept telling me "wow, i'm sorry, you're so handsom", "wow, you're so good-looking".. at least 3-4 times.. To the point that I told her playfully, "ok, if you tell me the 5th time, i'm gonna have to stop talking to you..".. I had no idea what else to say, I mean, I said thank you the first 3-4 times.. but I can't keep talking to someone who keeps saying that.. it has to stop.. especially from a model, that's a lot of fcukn pressure! I really fcuked it up though, I showed too much disinterest in her, "ehh, because I really wasn't that interested in her anyway, SHALLOW, plus she was tipsy and still getting an other drink!".. no matter how great things are going, don't go after girls who want to get blasted & piss-drunk, no matter how hot.. (just saying that because the girl you're after is half-Russian, and over here in NYC, that's enough to get plastered every night)

But, back to this whole thing being a way of life.. that's what it is.. it's a personal transformation that takes place from within.. it has nothing to do with women.. it has to do with yourself.. think of your success with women as a litmus test for seeing the transformation of yourself from within..

[GrkScorp]

wow. you guys really make approaching strange girls into something like neuro-surgery.

haha.. no, it's actually not.. well.. it sort of is in the beginning.. but we have to write it out that way, because guys like to see logical patterns and well-organized logical sequences, sort of like "how-to" directions on what to do.. with supporting rationalization and evidence..

Plus, good-looking women get approached all the time.. so they have much more social experience in comparison to men.. the reason being that a good-looking woman gets hit on around 3-15 times on a normal/ordinary day, and over 50 times on a night-out.. (numbers based on NYC).. so she has a good feel for things like vocal-tonality, body-language, context of conversation, ractions to things she does, etc. She also has an overinflated ego, and has become bored with guys who come up to her to hit on her, so any display of interest on behalf of a guy, will lead her to group them into that "loser/annoying" category, and she'll be defensive, won't be attracted, and will try to get them to leave her alone..

Men on the other hand, don't enjoy "passive" social experience.. at least not as often as women do.. I enjoy "passive" social experience here and there, but if you take me in a room for of 10's, and but a woman in a room full of 10's.. the woman will get more guys hitting on her, that I will get women hitting on me.. it's just the nature of women.. they're just wussies.. so guys have to learn to engage in "active" social experience.. and it sounds like a pain-in-the-butt, and it sounds like alot of work.. but once you break down those boundries and you don't feel you're being "rude" or "cocky" or "impolite" (delete those concepts from your mind!).. the it's actually very addictive and fun to take control of a social situation and lead the conversation and the good vibe.. For instance, every day, I talk to at least 10 people.. 10 strangers.. on a night-out.. I hop around place to place.. talking to 2-6 people in each place.. so by the end of the night, i've talked to over 40 different people.. on a really good night.. that number can go as high as 90 (only because some places are "hot" at certain random nights and you have a fun/open crowd, so people just gather around like there's a magnetic field)

You can see that men actually have the advantage.. men have the "guts" (for the sake of keeping things kosher), to go out and talk to a random stranger.. they're not chicken, they're not wussies.. and when you have "active" social experience, you get longer conversations, deeper interactions, and well.. the possibility to talk to MORE than 40-50 people in one night.. I never feel like i'm limited to the people who are going to approach me.. there ARE NO LIMITS.. everyone is fair game.. married people, people in LTRs, i'm not out to "pick-up" women.. i'm out to have a good time.. and in the process, sh*t happens.. a LOT of sh*t happens..

And on that note, you can see how much easier it is to talk to 10's when that becomes your way of life.. I talk to 40-90 people a night, I have a great time, and I have no limits, I don't limit myself, I can jump right in and talk to anyone, and I can connect, because i've eliminated any boundries that once held me back.. So when talking to that 10.. she's actually taking away from my time.. I don't feel like she's giving me this divine privilage to be there talking to her and getting her attention.. so instead of being in the mindset of ME trying to get her attention and win HER over.. i'm actually in the mindset of looking for a good reason to actually stay there and still talk to her.. In NYC, there are more 10's going down the street than cars at any given moment (and traffic is always packed, it's horrible).. now, if you soften up your standards to 9's and 8's.. there's NO REASON you should limit yourself to that "one girl".. you have to make this your lifestyle.. you have to make it a way of life.. this has to be you.. and when it is you.. you'll just naturally be in that mindset.. you'll be bored when you talk to great-looking women.. you'll be looking for that reason for you to stay.. for you to give them your time.. YOU will be SCREANING THEM! and in effect, when you set this tone.. THEY will be CHASING YOU..

In a nutshell, that's how your way of life should be.. but only YOU can do what you need to do to change it and make it that way.. and it's a PERSONAL and INNER change that needs to take place.. and it starts with breaking down those barriers you feel when talking to people.. So the first thing i'm going to ask you to do.. and trust me on this one.. is to break down the fear of talking to strangers..

Here is what I want you to do this week:

Start off the week on Day-1, and I want you to talk to 3 total strangers. It could be about anything (it usually is). "Can you believe Hillary came in 3rd?", "Wow, i've never seen anyone put so much sugar in their coffee", "What kind of dog is that?", ANYTHING! And you don't even have to get a conversation going, they could talk to you for 30mins, or give you a smile, or tell you to "fcuk off!", but that still counts as you talking to a total stranger.. Each day that goes by during the week, you have to talk to 1 more stranger.. By Day-7, you should talk to 10 strangers that day.. when you have done this, you've completed your goal for the week.. At the end of the week, when you've completed your goal.. come back and repost, tell us how you felt when you started on Day-1, and how it was on Day-7..

Best of Luck..

[misombra]

i don't want to talk to anybody.

i hate people. especially strangers.

[vashti]

It looks like Grk lies to a lot of women. Bad karma.