Am I right to be suspicious? Or am I just being Paranoid?

[Don99]

OK I think I will lower everyone's opinion of me by telling you this, but hey, I already posted so much may as well be honest. I feel bad about this but, whats done is done.

Its funny how something can be right in front of you and you never think of it.

From time to time my g/f will call me when she is without net access and ask me to check her email for her, so I log on and tell her if she has msgs. It has been a few months since shes done this, but earlier today she asked me to check while she was driving to work. So I check for her msgs, then pause right when I was about to close the window.

So after thinking it through for a minute I decided what the hell. Yes I realize this is low, but hey, I know she is lying to me, even if she isn't cheating she has been acting very funny and not telling me where she is going, so though it doesn't make it right I went ahead.

I skimmed a few msgs, looked back as far as when she started her new job, this is rather pointless in one way since her "friend" at work doesn't own a computer, a tidbit she told me before she completely stopped mentioning his name.

I figure there might be other things, I look at msgs from friends, plenty of people asking how her and I are doing but nothing in reply, she doesn't save sent msgs so no luck there. Finally I find a few msgs from friends back in town, they just mention how they should all go out one night.

Finally I see one from people from work. She mentions she is sorry she couldn't make the poker game, because she was busy with family, and that it is some guy at works birthday soon, so maybe they should have a party for him. Eh. That isn't much.

She isn't a stupid girl so I am sure if she had a msg saying "Yeah I'm cheating! blah blah" she would have deleted it immediately.

Feel kinda dirty, especially since I didn't find anything out.

Oh well /me goes to wash hands.

[clynn]

Aaaaah, you can be forgiven. I'm really glad you didn't find anything. That would have been yucky. First off, we're still hoping nothing is going on. Second, you would have to be quiet about finding out and still have to dig it out of her. Finally, it is in your best interest, and hers, for you to have the difficult discussion with her face to face.

Well, once again, picking her up from work cuz she is sick and puking? You really are an awesome guy.

Lets hope that you're totally wrong on all of this, and she can reassure you and maybe she'll even feel badly for having been insensitive (likely unknowingly) to your insecurities.

You don't have to be accusatory or aggressive when you have the discussion. It should really come from a place of concern about your relationship.

Once again, all the best.

[Haxor]

hmm very interesting story, plz keep us updated.

and if u can, please share how u met her and how u started dating with her... and spare some advice too.

and the comment i made earlier, it was just a joke

[Tone]

Yeah don't worry about it man... if she wasn't acting the way she is - you would never have the urge to look through her e-mails. You didn't find anything which is good, like clynn said... but you shouldn't feel too bad about it. I wouldn't say you were too far out of line given the way she's been acting.

[okibo]

Forgive and Forget, we all forgive you so forget it ever happend :p, Donn I hope this turns out all right, I guess it would become one of those memories that you always look back on feel kinda stupid and laugh! Good Luck Bro and keep us updated!

Seba

[Trickee]

talk to her. if she doesnt admit. then leave her. you deserve so much better.

good luck

[beatpirate]

Not paranoid at all, this situation doesn't seem right. Have a good talk with her.

[misombra]

daaaaaaaaaamn. it's hard when this person is somebody from work.

anyway, that would piss me off. if my boyfriend were doing those things i would dump him.

[Don99]

Ok

Bottom of the 9th now I think.

Since she has been really, really sick this week I decided to let it slide and bring it up when the time was right, I wanted to catch her doing something fishy, and confront her immediately.

While she was sick over the weekend, I grabbed her cellphone and checked incoming and missed calls, guess what? David calls her almost as much as I do. Doh!

Tonight was the real kicker though. She is off work at 10-10:30ish, so I call her cell at 10:30, she is driving and I say "Where you going?" she says "To hang out at Stephs house". (Steph is one of her friends blah blah). She said "Steph just wants to hang out and talk about her b/f since she might move out and all". Then she says "I will stop by your place at 12:30 or so".

We continue talking and finally she says "Well I'm here, changing my shirt in the car real fast" then she says "Love You see you later tonight"

Soon as she hung up the phone with me, I threw on my shoes and out the door I went.

I drove all the way accross town, get to Stephs house.............my g/fs car isn't there and there isn't a light on in the house.

Yeah, this shit is getting really, really old.

So tonight if/when she comes I am going to act totally normal. Then say "So did you and her just hang out and talk? Did her b/f come home? Was it akward?"

If she admits they were there the whole time I am calling her on it.

Waiting right now...

[Ellynn]

Yeah that does sound messed up. I would definately ask her if they hung out at her house.......and if they said they went somewhere....then you know that possibly could be true. But if they didn't.....and she says they were at her house the entire time.....then you know somethings up.

Yikes.....sorry to hear you are going thru is....

[Airborne]

Dude, you are being way to clingy and suspicious I think, I mean honestly who cares if she is hanging out with other guys? Unless she is cheating on you then it is not much of a problem. Remember if she wanted to dump you she would have done so, and if she wanted to be going out with her ex, then again she wouldn't be going out with you.

Girl's basically seem to do this sort of thing sometimes as a means to make you want her time more, and to try and make you compete for her time. Just relax and let her do it, and leave her by herself sometimes, let her know that she also has to compete for your time. Basically speaking just relax and let her know whos boss, and that you are in control, in my experience woman like men who lead. At the moment it seems that she is leading you.

[Don99]

Dude, you are being way to clingy and suspicious I think, I mean honestly who cares if she is hanging out with other guys? Unless she is cheating on you then it is not much of a problem. Remember if she wanted to dump you she would have done so, and if she wanted to be going out with her ex, then again she wouldn't be going out with you.

Girl's basically seem to do this sort of thing sometimes as a means to make you want her time more, and to try and make you compete for her time. Just relax and let her do it, and leave her by herself sometimes, let her know that she also has to compete for your time. Basically speaking just relax and let her know whos boss, and that you are in control, in my experience woman like men who lead. At the moment it seems that she is leading you.

Thanks for the input, I really do appreciate multiple opinions.

The thing with her ex though, he dumped her, and she was "crushed" (her own words) for over a year. Even though he cheated on her then broke up with her she still wanted to be friends with him and would have got back together with him if she could have. The only reason he isn't a problem anymore is that he moved accross the country for a new job.

I don't think I am being too clingy, I need my space just like she does, just 2 weeks ago I went out with "the guys" and ended up passing out on my friends couch, I hang out with my friends a lot. We don't spend every night together.

I am a very laid back guy usually when it comes to guy friends and the like. She is a very social girl and has a lot of friends.

If you were in my shoes, and seeing how things actually are going down, then I think maybe you would understand. If you saw the slight changes in everything she says and such.

You maye be right though, maybe it is all in my head, maybe if I confront her on this I will ruin a good thing. Bottom line though, she is lying to me, and I won't be in a long term relationship with someone that flat lies to me and then 10 seconds later says "I Love You".

[Tone]

word, Don I think you are 100% correct to have your suspicions based on how she's acting.. I don't think you are out of line at all. There's a difference between having guy friends and having a guy friend who calls you as much as your boyfriend, when he does call you leave the room, that you hide from your boyfriend, and lie to your boyfriend about hanging out with.

Let us know how it went last night dude.

[Don99]

Thanks Tone, actually she didn't come by last night, she said she might come by if it was early enough or she would go home and go to bed. So haven't had the chance to talk to her about it, I want to do it in person though.

[Only-virgins]

Bored at work again Don99?