she's not attracted to me but wants to date

[geicoad]

Sounds insane

[TheEvilJester]

Frankly, I think that was the best decision you could make. In all of what you shared with his, I honestly do not see what you even saw in her. Hell, honestly her completely non-committal and relationship averse attitude would even be okay if she were with somebody equally on board with such a plan. You obviously were not, and there is nothing wrong with that either. I think good for you for wanting more. From everything you've shared with us, it seemed glaringly obvious from pretty much the word GO that she was never going to provide that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say I don't understand how you could have kept trying, as I certainly DO understand. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and we can't help but go for it even when we know we shouldn't. Sometimes you think you like somebody so you try to convince yourself that if you just take a shot, maybe they'll change. So, don't get me wrong. I certainly understand it being difficult for you to come to this conclusion. I am glad you finally have, though.

Good luck to you. Find yourself a gal who will be falling all over herself with joy to be with you, not one that you practically have to convince you are worth their time.

P.S. On a side note, no two people are alike, so not ALL women are like this for sure...... but in general women usually ARE more open and honest about their emotions than your typical guy. So this gal not being open to that is NOT the norm at all. Again, not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm just saying don't assume because she is like that it means that all women are like that.

[Wakeup]

Haha... I think Alopolo is becoming a favorite poster real quick.

[Alopolo]

Frankly, I think that was the best decision you could make. In all of what you shared with his, I honestly do not see what you even saw in her. Hell, honestly her completely non-committal and relationship averse attitude would even be okay if she were with somebody equally on board with such a plan. You obviously were not, and there is nothing wrong with that either. I think good for you for wanting more. From everything you've shared with us, it seemed glaringly obvious from pretty much the word GO that she was never going to provide that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say I don't understand how you could have kept trying, as I certainly DO understand. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and we can't help but go for it even when we know we shouldn't. Sometimes you think you like somebody so you try to convince yourself that if you just take a shot, maybe they'll change. So, don't get me wrong. I certainly understand it being difficult for you to come to this conclusion. I am glad you finally have, though.

Good luck to you. Find yourself a gal who will be falling all over herself with joy to be with you, not one that you practically have to convince you are worth their time.

P.S. On a side note, no two people are alike, so not ALL women are like this for sure...... but in general women usually ARE more open and honest about their emotions than your typical guy. So this gal not being open to that is NOT the norm at all. Again, not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm just saying don't assume because she is like that it means that all women are like that.

i completely agree with what you are saying. i do not usually pursue women since i left high school. i learned this in college that women have to earn your trust to fall in love and so i thought maybe she needed more time. no matter how hard i chased girls in college if they were not attracted it did not work and if they were attracted they would be turned off. however in this case it was different a bit because she responded positively to pursuit. even though she slept with me i think it was clear that she was only doing that to make me crazy about her. i think she got a massive satisfaction from the pursuit and since this was the first time i met a woman who had sex with me BEFORE she fell in love, i fell into the trap. i learned a great deal from this experience and ill add the excuse that im relatively young and inexperienced in my 20s.

[TheEvilJester]

It isn't like I'd know from experience (the monster never gets the happy ending) but I don't think it would be true to say that no women like the pursuit. I think it is more so the case that they are either interested in you, or they are not. If they are not interested in you, it is HIGHLY unlikely that any amount of pursuit will change that. Frankly, even if it DID, I'd personally ponder whether it was worth it anyway. Would you really want to be somebody you basically had to drag into a relationship kicking and screaming?

Anyway, you made a mistake, but a mistake A LOT of guys make. Heck, at least you got it out of the way at a young age. Hopefully now you can have better luck in pursuing the correct women. Good luck to you. I wish you the best and hope you find somebody who will want to be with you as much as you want to be with her. You should never have to convince somebody of your worth, and if you do, maybe THEY never deserved YOU in the first place.

[Alopolo]

It isn't like I'd know from experience (the monster never gets the happy ending) but I don't think it would be true to say that no women like the pursuit. I think it is more so the case that they are either interested in you, or they are not. If they are not interested in you, it is HIGHLY unlikely that any amount of pursuit will change that. Frankly, even if it DID, I'd personally ponder whether it was worth it anyway. Would you really want to be somebody you basically had to drag into a relationship kicking and screaming?

Anyway, you made a mistake, but a mistake A LOT of guys make. Heck, at least you got it out of the way at a young age. Hopefully now you can have better luck in pursuing the correct women. Good luck to you. I wish you the best and hope you find somebody who will want to be with you as much as you want to be with her. You should never have to convince somebody of your worth, and if you do, maybe THEY never deserved YOU in the first place.

yes i agree. i did not really try to convince her to like me, i just went out with her to do fun stuff and at end of day we would end up either in my car or my house. after 3rd date we ended up sleeping together. growing up i was always told when a man and a woman really love eachother blah blah happens lol. i had no idea the action was casual, never really knew women do that thats why i got a bit attached :\

[TheEvilJester]

It CAN be casual. I mean, personally I never feel it should be and I would not personally do it casually. To me, personally, that should be how a relationship becomes MORE serious, not just something where you hop into bed with anybody willing.

But, these days that honestly puts me in the minority. No judgment on my part for people who do consider it more casually. That is up to them. It's just not for me.

There are still people, though, that agree with your method of thinking. So, just don't settle for a gal who is ready to hop into bed before you two are even serious. Heck, there's nothing wrong with that if that is really what she wants, but if that doesn't work for you, then a gal like that isn't right for you. Good luck. (I say that a lot, but I do sincerely mean it.)