How do I get over her sexual past?

[Bluevetteracer]

Chisel, as in wear you down, pick on you, whittle you down!

[NeoSeminole]

Neo to the rescue:

You have every right to feel the way you do. Don't listen to the people calling you a hypocrite. I guess they didn't bother to read that the women you slept with were in the context of a relationship and they were all single. No one-night stands, no cheating, and no flings with co-workers. Your gf's sexual past leaves much to be desired. If I were you, I would probably feel insecure too. You need to ask yourself how much you love her. If you can tolerate the image of her getting pounded in the bathroom stall in a club by a stranger, then props to you. Otherwise, f*ck her a few more times and ditch her. Your life will be so much easier. Girls like her don't deserve guys like you.

[whaywardj]

Oh, gad. You don't trust her? You don't need to be with her. And she CERTAINLY doesn't need to be with you. Where's the confusion over this?

::somebody hold me back before I go off on a diatribe on this guy...wait! i did that already. what comes after "diatribe"?::

[Bluevetteracer]

Oh, gad. You don't trust her? You don't need to be with her. And she CERTAINLY doesn't need to be with you. Where's the confusion over this?

::somebody hold me back before I go off on a diatribe on this guy...wait! i did that already. what comes after "diatribe"?::

Pontificate?????

[ruth]

Hi, Okay, this is what I think.

I am a 24 year old girl, and I've slept with hmm...maybe 15 people, to be truthfull, I could count, but what's the point. It depends on how you view sex. You don't truly know this girl you are dating, 7 months isn't long enough to get a real understanding of someone or their past...maybe this will help...

I never intentionally meant to sleep with 15 guys, but with a combination of having low self confidence and being pretty, it just sort of happened. I know people are going to think this is ludicrous that im telling your this, but I am being truthfull. I seeked validation from sex. He likes me enough to sleep with me, ....that's a good thing. You don't know all the reasons she slept with her ex's and frankly you shouldn't. I would never share my sexual past with my boyfriends. Sure I'll say.."I've had sex" but it stops there, it's no ones business, get checked for STD's,..you can be curious if she was pregnant...but amount of sexual partners? Not your business? Why you ask? because you don't know the circumstances involved. Never had a one night stand? so what? What gives you the right to judge her one having one? Maybe you don't know her reasons behind it? Maybe she was beyond plastered (not an excuse, but a realistic possibility) and it just sort of happened. Maybe she has had a series of short term relationships...and sleeps with people early on.

When i was around 20 by brother told me the statmenet "who is going to buy the cow when they get the milk for free?"...this is true, but i had never thought of it that way. I would use excuses such as "sex is meaningless to me, it is a feeling, i like the feeling so i do it" Is there somethign wrong with doing somethign that feels good if you do it in a healthy way? Well that's a matter of personal opinion.

I will tell you this though. I dated a guy for four years who i slept with on the first day. A year later he told me "i am surprised i dated you after that,...i normally wouldn't date girls i slept with so early on"....when we broke up..i started dating a guy and made it a point to wait A VERY LONG TIME....and truthfully, this relationship is the best i've ever had. I'll never sleep with someone early on in a relationship again,...somthing to think about....let me know what you think....

I'm 30 and have been dating a woman who is 27 for about 7 months now. Very early in our relationship we discussed our past sexual history (not in complete detail or numbers) and we both seemed to agree that we have had "colorful" histories with other partners. However, over time I realize that she is a bit more promiscuos in the past than I thought.

I can confirm 7 men that she has slept with in the past. I found out that she has had at least one one night stand with a stranger she met out with friends one night in high school. Who knows how many guys she slept with in college (she was a party girl). She married right out of college at 22 or 23 and within a few years had an affair with a co-worker. Her husband never knew. In her defense I know that their marriage was a bad one not because of her. She did give it a good shot but the guy was the weak link in the marriage and couldn't be changed. She got a divorce about 1.5 years ago. After her divorce she continued to see the man she had the affair with (who is married as well) for a short while then broke it off. She went to Europe for work and had a fling with a guy that works for her company in Brussels. Then we met and she was dating 2 other guys while we first started dating. I know she slept with one of them (maybe the other as well) and she was sleeping with me. I'm pretty sure she only slept with the other guy once or twice because she cut both of them off pretty quickly after we got together.

Over the past 7 months of being with her, it has been wonderful. We get along, have tons of fun, our communication is great and our sex is great. I truly feel that she loves me and I am in love with her. My problem is that I can't seem to get over her past promiscuity. She's a girl that has a larger appitite for sex than most. I don't think it's because she's missing something or has self worth issues.

I have slept with 12 women in my past but they have been with single women that I have gotten to know and dated. No one night stands, no cheating, no flings with co-workers.

I have told her that I have this hang up. She gets really sad and tells me that she has never felt so right with anyone before and that she's sad because I think she's a slut deep down. I do believe that she completely loves me and only wants to be with only me but it's hard for me because I imagine all these guys banging her. I'm starting to get paranoid about her boss because he's been treating her like shit for a few months and I'm starting to assume that she did stuff with him in the past and won't anymore so he treats her like crap. I'm just nervous that after time goes by and say we get married, she might get bored and go screw someone else.

How do I get over this insecurity? Should I be nervous?

Thanks

[shh!]

OV's head is going to explode when he reads that. ^

[Junsui]

Neo to the rescue:

You have every right to feel the way you do. Don't listen to the people calling you a hypocrite. I guess they didn't bother to read that the women you slept with were in the context of a relationship and they were all single. No one-night stands, no cheating, and no flings with co-workers. Your gf's sexual past leaves much to be desired. If I were you, I would probably feel insecure too. You need to ask yourself how much you love her. If you can tolerate the image of her getting pounded in the bathroom stall in a club by a stranger, then props to you. Otherwise, f*ck her a few more times and ditch her. Your life will be so much easier. Girls like her don't deserve guys like you.

Yes, he said he was in a relationship with all of the women he slept with, but maybe he considers a 3 day thing a relationship. Who knows! Yes I would also be concerned about her past, but I would still give her a chance, maybe she has grown since then.

[whaywardj]

Pontificate?????

Yeah. But when I do it, it's cool. When you do it, it's just annoying.

[ACHTUNG]

Never had a one night stand? so what? What gives you the right to judge her one having one? Maybe you don't know her reasons behind it? Maybe she was beyond plastered (not an excuse, but a realistic possibility) and it just sort of happened. Maybe she has had a series of short term relationships...and sleeps with people early on.

...somthing to think about....let me know what you think....

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I have come to the conclusion that I will wipe the slate clean. I'm not going to judge her. It will only lead to a failed relationship. I'm going to have to trust her and see what happens. I do love her and I can truly say that she feels the same way toward me. So I'll take my chances and I think we'll be just fine.

Thanks to everyone except whaywardj and misombra because your posts were completely unproductive.

[misombra]

me?

fine then. jk.

that's the best choice, i think.

[misombra]

alright! hayward and i unite once again!!!

[ACHTUNG]

alright! hayward and i unite once again!!!

Wow, you're fast on the replies. Do you live on this forum?

[ACHTUNG]

Wow, you're fast on the replies. Do you live on this forum?

[misombra]

Wow, you're fast on the replies. Do you live on this forum?

good one!

[Tone]

Hey, careful guy.

Don't mess with our boss-lady. Have you met the others who tried messing with her, yet?
































Exactly.