Why is he doing this? Is he really over it all?

[toknow]

He seems to love you very much, so I don't think he can be prideful. If you do what I told you, I can guarantee you with 99.99999% certainty he will respond to it and take you back. What do you have to lose? Your pride? If he really thinks going to his house and waiting to see him because you love him, is creepy then he doesn't love you and he doesn't deserve you and you don't need to be with a person like that. But, from what I've gathered his reaction will be far from that. It should touch him.

[Amb]

He seems to love you very much, so I don't think he can be prideful. If you do what I told you, I can guarantee you with 99.99999% certainty he will respond to it and take you back. What do you have to lose? Your pride? If he really thinks going to his house and waiting to see him because you love him, is creepy then he doesn't love you and he doesn't deserve you and you don't need to be with a person like that. But, from what I've gathered his reaction will be far from that. It should touch him.

I will try it. I have been wanting to do that, but it hasn't seem like the right time. I have seen him since he moved out. It was my attempt. He hasn't made any attempts to see me. He seems really different and distant. He almost looks like a different person it is really sad to see it. I have asked him if we could meet up and he refuses. Both of the times I have seen him I surprised him. I left work early one day and came by his house when I knew he has home. The other time I knew he was on his way to our place he thought I was in class. He says he misses me and still loves me. It is hard but I love him.

[toknow]

It might not seem like the right time because you've shown him pride first, and doing this will show the exact opposite and might feel strange to you. I don't think it will be wrong to do it whenever, but maybe would be best to do it when you feel it's right.

If you are confused and don't know what to say, because sometimes we really don't know what exactly to do to fix things. Tell him, "I don't know what to say, or do, all I know is I love you!"

[Amb]

I agree. It is hard to see past the emotions.

[Amb]

He seems to love you very much, so I don't think he can be prideful. If you do what I told you, I can guarantee you with 99.99999% certainty he will respond to it and take you back. What do you have to lose? Your pride? If he really thinks going to his house and waiting to see him because you love him, is creepy then he doesn't love you and he doesn't deserve you and you don't need to be with a person like that. But, from what I've gathered his reaction will be far from that. It should touch him.

So much for that. I went to see him after work today. He pretty much said he didn't want to see me. He started crying when he saw me and then pushed me away. I told him how all this was making me feel sick. He acted like he couldn't be bothered. He is still the victim. I told him I love him and want to be with him but I can't be with someone who is going to treat me like this. I told him I am tired of feeling this way. He started crying. I did a little bit but turned them off quick. He pretty much said he wasn't sure whether he wanted to be with me in the future. I told him not to text me unless it's something positive. He likes to text me hateful things. I told him I'm not looking for anyone new, but I am not going to wait forever. I left. He was still crying.

[michelle23]

He is just being silly now. That is just plain crazy. And why all the tears? Could that be a sign of guilt? Has he done something wrong? Sorry to jump to conclusions OP but if you love someone-you would not push them so far away and send angry texts etc.

It makes no sense i dont think he has the inner strenght or the emotional maturity to be in a relationship-go find yourself a man and forget about this little boy

[toknow]

Hmn...He shouldn't be sending you hateful things if he loves you. What kind of things does he text? And how did he push you away, was he mean about it, or aggressive? He should not be putting his hands on you, unless it was a gentle push. If he is aggressive toward you, he can't love you, so don't even bother with him. If he can hurt you physically he can not love you.

One thing you have to keep in mind is, when someone is hurt they can say things they don't mean. He might really want you back and act all cool, because he sees he can and because he seems still mad at you. It's very hard to find out from just a posts the situation, there are so many dynamics going on, that I have no way of knowing. But he must not be prideful because that would be wrong. He might be getting you back by saying things like that, as this was what you told him first that you don't see the relationship going anywhere, and you are confused about it. So, he might be saying it because he still things you aren't sure about it. What made you so unsure in the first place and why weren't you seeing it going anywhere? You didn't give much info on that part.

Don't hold back your tears, when they come naturally, let it happen. Shows you care.

If he keeps pushing you away. Tell him this, "I'm really trying because I love you, but I can't do it alone, it takes two people. If you push me away and don't give me a chance, it will be your doing, not mine, and I can not make you love me."

It's all up to you, if you believe in this love, then keep fighting for it, if not let it be.

I watched a great movie yesterday, it was on tv, I would really recommend watching. With the exception where she has meaningless sex with some guy, which degrades the powerful love portrayed in this movie, it's an incredible piece of art. It's called A Very Long Engagement. I hope you get to see it, it might help you put things into perspective.

[michelle23]

Toknow i think its time to give up here. She has tried and tried and if he really wanted her-he would have tried to work it out by now. He either wants it to end and doesnt have the balls to tell her or he expects her to suffer to prove herself worthy.

Either way that is not love

[Amb]

Toknow i think its time to give up here. She has tried and tried and if he really wanted her-he would have tried to work it out by now. He either wants it to end and doesnt have the balls to tell her or he expects her to suffer to prove herself worthy.

Either way that is not love

IDK what he wants and after today even less than before. All I can go by is his actions. Michelle23 you are right. After today, he showed me I have nothing to fight for anymore

[toknow]

At least you got to talk to him and saved yourself some hardship by not dragging this out.

[michelle23]

Focus on yourself Amb. If he ever grows a pair and comes back-you can decide then how to proceed. In the meantime, just look after you and spend time with family/friends-join a hobby, the gym anything to distract you. Dont call him, text him etc. If he wants you he knows where you are

[toknow]

I don't know where I'm getting this from, but I'm sensing feeling of guilt on your part. I think you feel guilty that you can't give him all the love he needs from you, and are trying to run away from a situation where you would look like the one who is not an adequate girlfriend. Almost like you feel like the bad guy, in the relationship and are running because you don't like feeling that way. This could be way off, but if the first part of your feeling guilt is correct, then the second one is, too. You have to be truthful about this, or I can't help you.

[michelle23]

I don't know where I'm getting this from, but I'm sensing feeling of guilt on your part. I think you feel guilty that you can't give him all the love he needs from you, and are trying to run away from a situation where you would look like the one who is not an adequate girlfriend. Almost like you feel like the bad guy, in the relationship and are running because you don't like feeling that way. This could be way off, but if the first part of your feeling guilt is correct, then the second one is, too. You have to be truthful about this, or I can't help you.

Leave her alone! She has already tried everything. It is not her fault that he does not know how to deal with relationship conflict. Stop making her feel worse than she already does. She never set out to hurt him, she made it clear she loves him and she tried to get him to come home numerous times. It is up to him now. Not her.

[Amb]

I don't know where I'm getting this from, but I'm sensing feeling of guilt on your part. I think you feel guilty that you can't give him all the love he needs from you, and are trying to run away from a situation where you would look like the one who is not an adequate girlfriend. Almost like you feel like the bad guy, in the relationship and are running because you don't like feeling that way. This could be way off, but if the first part of your feeling guilt is correct, then the second one is, too. You have to be truthful about this, or I can't help you.

I did feel like the bad guy because of all that has happened. I told him I wasn't sure where the relationship was headed and he took it as if I do not want to be with him. He thought we were going to married and be together forever. I kind of messed up on that. I really can't say why I felt the way that I felt. I do want to work it out but he is not willing to do so. I feel like he is the one being the bad guy now and it makes me sick cause it seems he is doing it on purpose. I never told him my doubts to hurt him on purpose but to get some reassurance I was doing the right thing. It seems like it wasn't meant to be. It's hard to continue to feel pain when the person I love is sitting in front of me showing me they do not want me anymore.

[toknow]

You still haven't told me what was it that made you feel confused and unsure about the relationship? Was the relationship not progressing well, what was it? Can you give me an example of something that has happened to make you feel that way? There is a reason for everything.