are you guys getting into serious arguments over this or... how is she bringing this up and what happens..?
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
We were discussing moving to another city.
She got on about how she was thinking she might want her own apartment separate from mine and all this weird stuff.
Then she brought up our "fundamental differences".
I just get quiet and depressed because I know what would make her happy, but it would be a lie to say I wanted the same things.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
you two will have to come up with some sort of compromise to stay together. she will either have to accept that marriage may never happen or may not happen for a long time or she'll have to go. the ultimatums and threats and all that will send you into your shell and she will get nowhere.
if you don't want to get married then you shouldn't. it's a contract that's really difficult to get out of and lasts forever. does she bring this up after she talks to her family or something?
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
i don't know. i think she talks to her family and they fill her head up with this shit and she throws it on you. that's what it sounds like from here. because it seems you've had this discussion a million times before and she never actually follows through with leaving and you guys make up and have anal sex and everything is fine until she talks to her family again.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
Maybe you can look at the quote for the month on top of the forum...
change 'lover' to 'family' ..
"Invest wisely and have money work hard for you"
The fact that she is considering moving into her own apartment I think is an indication she might be thinking about phasing out of the relationship. I've experienced something similar to this before when a relationship reached a dead end. I would pay close attention to this development and consider ways to alleviate this if I wanted the relationship to continue.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
I suspect that you and her differ fundamentally on the final destination of this relationship. You're content with how it is and would much rather it didn't change much... and she seems to think that it's suppose to go somewhere -- particularly marriage.
Sounds like a power struggle to me -- she's trying to have her way in seemingly passive-aggressive ways... and you're trying to resist.
I guess the question is... how long do you want this to go on? If you give in, what kind of relationship would this be then? A miserable one? And if she gives in, what would the relationship be then? A resentful one?
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
Fras. If you don't want to be married, you have to man up and say so. She's a big girl, she has to make her own decisions about things.
Don't be a coward about discussing these things, it will only come back to bite you.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Fras just wants steady pussy.
If marriage is the only way of keeping her in the long run, I just may have to give in.
I don't suspect it would be a very jubilant marriage, though.