Complete loser here

[Junket]

Would you mind explaining to me how shes preserving my feelings? Everytime something was wrong she'd come to me, then she started saying that she wanted me, would never hurt me..etc I'm confused.

I've said this to your predecessors, and I'll say it to you.

Girls don't usually like hurting the feelings of nice boys like you.

You're like a sad, puppy with a bleeding paw.

They wanna help you, simply because it's their nature, but that doesn't necessarily mean they want to take you home.

Unfortunately, they are prone to saying one thing and thinking another, and guys aren't always quick to pick up on it.

So I would advise you take Vash's advice.

[C172H]

Hey Frasbee,

Thanks for the reply. I don't regard myself as being sensitive here really. As I said before, we just grew closer and closer. A relationship was inevitable until her mates ex came along. Currently I feel used because of the things she said recently and then the change of heart overnight. She still texts me when shes feeling down or sick. Its more as if shes the sad puppy with a bleeding paw.

I do agree though that they are prone to saying one thing and going against that.

I'll get over this in time. Thanks for the advice given.

[Charlie Boy II]

This site mystifies me sometimes.Where does all this emotion come from? I had no idea guys could be so goddamn sensitive.

Guys on here telling each other to "protect your heart" - what the **** does that mean??

[vashti]

It means don't act like a girl.

[Gigabitch]

You've never had your heart broken, have you Charlieboy?

[Ath]

Giga's got a point, I never considered myself a "sensitive type".. still don't. But somethings in life you just can't experience through others, until it happens to you.

[C172H]

Yeah, it is one of those things you have to experience. I wouldn't consider myself sensitive. Break ups or people violating my trust annoy me though. Other than that i'm not really what I would call sensitive.

[Miss hotty]

Well, I just thought i'd post an update for you all..

I got a text from her last night saying she was unwell..etc So I was typical me and sent her a sympathetic text 'I hope you get well..etc..etc' Well, we text abit. Then this evening she pops up on msn and said that she had spent all evening with Andy. I asked her why, considering that we were the people she apparently wanted space from and she just replied 'we watched a movie, I fell asleep on him' and also said 'I do like him though' I could see where this was going, so I just asked her straight out why she told me just over a week ago that she wanted me to be her b/f only to change her mind now. Her reply was that she meant it at the time... but seriously, is it possible to mean it and feel differently a week or so after? She also said that she hasnt made up her mind who she wants and stated that I wasnt doing myself any favours. That got to me abit because it was not me who said I wanted to be with someone only to change my mind and go for someone else a week later. Did she expect me to say 'oh thats ok, I understand that last week you wanted me, now you like someone else, thats fine'? She also mentioned that tomorrow shes going to the cinema with him. It was at that point that I just said to her 'I don't stand a chance, do I?' and said I had to go.

So why is it she can't see how hurt I am by this? I have been there through the good and the bad for over a year now, she knows shes the first person i've wanted to be with in a year and a half and also knows how hard it was for me to get over my ex, so why is she being so inconsiderate? The last few months all i've got from her was 'you're a lovely person. I would never hurt you' 'I cant wait to fly with you' 'I had a dream about you last night.. I hope we do get together' Now some guy she hardly knows turns up and shes with him everyday and telling me she hasnt made a decision on who she wants.. this isnt some kind of airline pilots job where theres a few suitable candidates, we're talking about peoples feelings, and she should understand that more than anyone. She really doesn't seem to care about how much this has hurt me.

But the question it leaves me wondering is what is it that i've done wrong? I never had the intention of feeling anything for her. We were friends who grew closer and closer over the course of just over a year. I was always there for her when she needed me, we talked about everything together. I obviously had her trust and she had mine, so what went wrong? I am just so confused. I don't understand how something so promising changed in such a short space of time. Was it me? Or was it her?

Last year when my ex left, she showed no care for me after having taken my virginity. I felt as if I could never trust anyone like that again. But I finally get my confidence and trust back and this happens. It isn't helping me believe that I will find someone nice, because to me it will eventually cause all the 'I do mean it' and 'I wont hurt you, I promise' phrases to mean nothing at all because they are things i've heard time and time again. I just don't know where im going wrong and why shes doing this.

Reading this is very upsetting nobody should be treated like that what she is doing is isn't right. I don't know whats going on in her mind and i don't really want to your a really great guy but she must be able to see that. Don't let her bring you down not all girls are like that believe me you just have to find the right one and you will.

She problerly can see your hurting but is just brushing it off because if she can't see it then it's not there (meaning if she can't see the hurt she is doing then it's not there). Well if she didn't want to hurt you then why is she doing this to you i just don't get her.

You haven't done anything wrong it her.

You will find someone someday that will make you happy and be there for you like you want. One day 'I wont hurt you, I promise' will mean something to you just not yet just hold on and love will come.

[Charlie Boy II]

You've never had your heart broken, have you Charlieboy?

No. I'm 24.5, been dating for over a decade, had a few serious girlfriends, I kind of feel like it should have happened by now. I almost feel like I'm missing out on that emotional intensity people come on here with.

When I was 22 I had a girlfriend who, just before me, had had her heart broke. She was a wreck - waking up in the middle of the night sobbing; drinking gin and tonics all night after she got home from work; breaking down at work; struggling to get out of bed in the morning; writing letters she never sent; painting these angry paintings with words like "betrayal" scrawled across them. Went and saw a counseller before she staretd to get better.

For those first few months I was pretty much a counseller that she ****ed. Not that I minded. I watched the whole process with wonder. I'd never seen anything like it before in my life.

Never felt a twinge of jealousy about the feelings she had for this guy, in fact, the opposite. I used to argue in his favour "he probably did this because of this...", "he was probably thinking this..." I realise now because I was worried I'd be that guy one day. I spent the rest of the relationship in quiet anxiety that she'd transfer that burden of attachment onto me.

Even after she got over that stuff, she'd ask me all the time with these wide brown eyes:
"are you scared?"
"Scared of what?"

If my current girlfriend called me up right now and told me she never wanted to seem me again it'd be the physical equivalent of the flu. That's why phrases like "protect your heart" bounce off me like that.

[Miss hotty]

Yes but sometimes you can't protect your heart from getting hurt you are lucky and have not had it done i wish i never started dating

[anachronistic]

No. I'm 24.5, been dating for over a decade, had a few serious girlfriends, I kind of feel like it should have happened by now. I almost feel like I'm missing out on that emotional intensity people come on here with.

dude, most of the people that come on here have only experienced a superficial kind of love, although THINK it's the one, true, magical kind of love. or well that's the way it seems with the stuff they post.

[anachronistic]

I'll get over this in time.

damn right you will.

[Tigger_]

Tigger is hot.

Hahaha,

Thanks for remembering the other thread!!!

As for the broken heart debate....

i dont think having your heart broken and acting all emotional is being SISSY!!!... it just means that you are in touch with your emotions, which is alright... not everyone has a cold heart... some people do give their heart out to others...

"Protecting your heart" to me means that the mind starts going on this crazy roller coaster ride of "hope" and "no hope" and that for me can crush any normal individual.... it has nothing to do with being a sissy....

[Gribble]

Only thing my heart does is pump blood. End of story. I can't even imagine being upset by a girl dumping me. Amused, sure. But upset? Nah.

[vashti]

Only thing my heart does is pump blood. End of story. I can't even imagine being upset by a girl dumping me. Amused, sure. But upset? Nah.

You just haven't met the right girl yet. Neither has charlieboy.
Enjoy your intact hearts, boys, while they last.