My girlfriend dumped me abruptly..

[chiknfingaz]

rawr I tried once. I did take her off my friends list but I know my friend's password and I get on his and look at her. she never puts anything interesting. grr

[Raze]

rawr I tried once. I did take her off my friends list but I know my friend's password and I get on his and look at her. she never puts anything interesting. grr

Quit stalking her. She's not going to say anything about you. You are hoping that she includes you in her statuses and probably trying to see if she is going after someone else. You are your own worst enemy right now. You need to delete her from your life somehow.

This is a checklist I came up for you:
-Spend more time with your friends... Check!
-Delete her from your phone...
-Delete her from your facebook.. Check!
-Stop stalking her...
-Come up with a list of possible girls you want to date...
-Ask for some numbers...
-Explore new areas...
-Start working out (you will feel better and look better)...
-Find some new clothes...
-Get a new haircut...
-Collect everything that reminds you of her. Have a bonfire celebrating the fact that you have gotten her out of your mind. Invite your friends. Burn everything that reminds you of her in the fire and have some beer or whatever you like to drink...
-Practice proper hygeine. Sometimes people don't take care of themselves when they are heartbroken...
-Get sleep....
-Stop growling or doing whatever that is your doing... "the rawr and grrr" Girls don't like that...

[chiknfingaz]

Lol thanks for the list. Fortunately I have taken care of a lot of those things. I got a new haircut, I deleted all her texts and her number from my phone, I have gotten rid of the sentimental stuff she left (I still have gifts...bobbleheads, games, pj pants....they don't make me think of her really), have done some working out. I feel like I can't really move on and explore new areas until I go to university next month. The reason I'm still at home was to be at community college with her until we were ready to move to school together. so I'm excited to have new things to focus on when that happens. Right nows its tough because I see her at work and I see her in our summer classes. As far as the Facebook, I know I need to just block her have that be that. You are right, I'm hoping she says something about me or hints at what she's doing. She leaves barely anything and I still go =O at it. Sometimes it makes me wonder because she leaves things that only I would understand. Or at least I thought. I am slowly learning that she probably is just throwing up whatever she wants and that I need not pay attention. Its strange because she rarely gets anyone on there, and yet keeps posting. I'm sure its not what I think though. I've been getting good sleep since week 2 and never stopped taking care of myself thank God. Its a good thing that I had work and school to keep me going somewhat.


As far as the growling.. that's an internet only thing - LOL

But you are right. I have just been torturing myself for the last 3 weeks. This is how I deal with things, unfortunately. I think about them and think about them... and then think about them some more until I just one day snap out of it.

[Raze]

I'm glad to hear it. It sounds like you are improving. You are getting there slowly but surely.

About getting a new girl, I know I'm contradicting myself when I say this, but I would just try not to find one. You will be amazed how many girls will flock to you if you just don't try and have some confidence. You might have to hint at stuff if you like them, but that's all I would do since you're still not over it.

[chiknfingaz]

Yeah. That's exactly how I got my ex. I chased girls through all of high school and once I stopped, she came after me. HA!

[chiknfingaz]

Today she has been posting about how sick she is and how she can't make any food because of it. Her family is out of town. I really want to offer to take care of her! Lol

[chiknfingaz]

Sorry for bumping repeatedly...just an update.... I went against my better judgement and texted her asking if I could bring her food. She said no. I was just hoping that, seeing as how she has no one to really take care of her, and her whole family is out of town, she would appreciate it. But I'm not surprised. It was stupid of me to try. Everyday it seems like I take 1 step forward, 2 steps back. And this is a perfect example. So I manned up and blocked her on Facebook. I really need to try and avoid her at all costs.

[cmacattack1]

This is probably the most difficult thing that we can do as dumpees about girls we care about, we still try to contact them when clearly we shouldn't be. If she wants to be away from you, there isn't much you can do about that. But you can not **** it up and make it worse. The more you chase after her, the more she is going to be pushed away. You aren't respecting her wishes if you chase after her, you are giving her peace of mind that she could just come to you whenever she felt like it and it will help her move on without you, and you are coming off as a needy creep. It's difficult and this will probably be a learning experience for you in the future of what not to do. The best thing for both of you is time apart right now, even if you are afraid of losing her to somebody else or losing your feelings for her. Don't cling to that, just let things go. It is certainly scary, it is lonely, but she is not going to be there to make you feel better and help you through this. It's up to you on your own. Show how much character you have and push through this on your own.

You gotta stop checking her facebook. All of her posts could be very well aimed at you to bait you into talking to her, even if she turns down your approaches. It's a nice ego stroke for her. Get yourself away from the computer and get outdoors for a bit. Ask yourself the next time you are on facebook "What can I possibly accomplish if I check her page?" Nothing, but you will feel shittier if you see her having a great time without you like she doesn't need you. Stop doing that to yourself. Hide her minifeed stories and if you really feel like you have no self control (which you do), remove her. Stop logging on with her password. That's an invasion of privacy and it's weird man.

Emotions are raw right now and you are going to say things you don't mean, which you already did. You need a cool, calm demeanor about yourself right now and need to change your focus from getting her back to organizing your life and priorities. That should be numero uno on your list: improving yourself. You are going to the gym? Good. Hanging with friends? Good. You need to keep doing this every day, not just for a week and then relapsing on talking to her. These early times are the toughest, but it does get easier if you have some willpower and some character and to be able to stand on your own two feet like a man without her.

[chiknfingaz]

Thank you. Its a battle everyday, that's for damn sure. And for clarification, I'm not logging on to HER facebook...I keep getting on one of my friend's, who is friends with her. That doesn't really make it better, I know. But I have blocked her so I can't see her's and she can't see mine. I wouldn't be surprised if she was putting those things up there to bait me. I just keep holding on to that and thinking "well, if she wanted me to stroke her ego, then she that means she still cares what I think". I know its a stretch.

I'm sure I've ****ed things up and pushed her very far away the last few weeks. We always had a very tight relationship, both sides were clingy. I think that's why she hasn't blown up at me yet. Like I said, its even more difficult being in 2 classes with her and working together. Luckily, school is over tomorrow. I started off improving myself, but you're right, I relapsed. I need to get back on track. Its just hard.. I haven't spoken to many of my friends in the 2.5 years I was with her, and with only a few weeks left here, its hard to reconnect. A handful of them have blown me off already.

[cmacattack1]

Don't push her to the point where she tells you not to talk to her again. Part of me wanted to when I relentlessly pursued her just so I knew I finally had zero chance with her again. Part of me wanted relief knowing that this was it and that there was nothing you can do. Because when you feel like you screwed up, it's a heavy burden to carry on your shoulders.

You guys both made mistakes and there isn't anything else you can do about that now. You know what not to do now. Give them more freedom, don't be judgmental of their decisions. If they choose to do things that you don't agree with, don't think that you can pressure them into being somebody they aren't by getting angry or disappointed. We learn best through our mistakes and losing you was a huge mistake, maybe she'll come to her senses. I wouldn't bank on it though.

She made mistakes as well, she wasn't honest with how she felt and she tolerated far too much without her speaking up and harbored alot of resentment. But you didn't force her to do anything, she chose everything of her own free will. As did you. She's not a victim and neither are you. It's a learning experience and all you should do is take the good from this.

[chiknfingaz]

Yeah. These are all valuable lessons to learn. I just hate knowing that our relationship was more of a learning exercise if you will than everything we thought it would be. I still care for her, and although she is going to go forward making choices that I don't agree with, I know that her and I are similar people otherwise. And it hurts missing out on her future, our future, and our friendship. But I can never think of her as a normal friend, and I think she knows that too and that's why she's so willing to ignore me.

But yes I do feel very confident that I can have a much stronger relationship with the next girl. Its like I've been telling my mom, if this girlfriend was a BAD one, then I can't wait to see what a good one is like!

[nerdy_guy]

If you have some spare cash, I suggest you travel around and see the world. It really helped me out before. When I came back home, it wasn't that painful. Another thing you can try is look for a quite time for yourself. Reflections do help, go somewhere quiet and clear your head. No electronic stuff should bother you. Then, when school comes, start dating different girls, just don't be so serious about it. But don't use them either. That's bad. Just take a girl out for coffee, and talk, maybe take another one out for lunch and just talk. Take someone out for Ice cream, a walk through a park. The best way to find out how a girl thinks is to get behind enemy lines. You'll start to feel good about yourself. If she sees you regularly with a different girl each time, she's likely to get curious. She might start to regret what happened and ask you back. Of course, this is a slim chance, and something you shouldn't entertain anyway.

If you bump into her at school, act civilized and don't get all googley eyes. Just act like everything is fine with the world. don't bring up the past. You'll learn better about what makes a girl tick, eventually, you'll find someone else that is more into your lifestyle.

[chiknfingaz]

Yeah I definitely need to build myself before going off to school. Luckily summer school ends today and I can have some more me time. I'm great at talking to people, great at talking to girls too, I just never know how or when to "seal the deal" or pick up on if I'm being received as friendly or flirty.

I don't want to go forward doing things with even the slightest bit of hope that she'll change her mind. Obviously I still want her back, but so far if I've started something thinking it might catch her eye, I've given it up and regressed emotionally.

So far when I've bumped into her I've tried to say hi. I'm not doing that anymore.

[girl68]

No sealing the deal till you're over the ex. Rebounds sucks, being the rebound sucks even more.

[chiknfingaz]

I hear you. I'm worried that it will be a while before I'm truly over her. The girl before that, oh my god it took me like 6 months.