I can see why men do this...

[Luca]

Also, be careful with this! Many times what you put out there comes back to bite you in the ass. My brother went through a stage like this as well. He thought he had it all figured out....until he fell hard for one of his "friends" with benefits. This woman was beautiful, smart, funny, fascinating, engaging, and TOTALLY insane. She raked him over the emotional coals in bad way.

It was interesting, on one hand I hated her for hurting my brother, on the other hand, as a woman, I was in awe of the way she made men eat out of her hand (not that I would really want to do that personally, but WOW, she turned in into an artform).

[Graham Berkeley]

All this will change when you meet a new lady who will knock your socks off!

And I'm in Giga's boat too. My boyfriend hadn't had a serious girlfriend since his ex from a couple of years ago. Every other female in between was some sort of rebound or fling. After we started dating he was cautious about who he told initially in an effort to prevent any crazies. At first this upset me a little because I felt like he was trying to hide something, but as I got to know him and his past, it was for the best. Some of these chicks were pretty nuts.

He had made the same mistake of thinking that his upfront nature would put a halt to any feelings these girls might form, but, as most of us know from experience, that did not work. He spent a lot of time and energy trying to reassure these girls that though he cared for them he was not ready for a relationship. Especially when they were showing clear signs of co-dependence and neediness.

So Graham, we're just warning you not to be surprised if you get a new girl that you want to lavish with love and attention and then suddenly your past shows up to wreak havoc.

The problem is I've met that Amazing, sock-knocking off, girl several times and I know where it leads. The only reason why someone thinks the person they have met is soooooooooo amazing is because they haven't acted irresponsibly and hurt them yet. Unfortunately when it comes to women I have to be pragmatic and realistic.

No offense, Graham, but it's guys like you who ruin the dating game for girls who aren't ginormous whores. It's because of guys like you that girls feel compelled to put out immediately, to put "no demands" on their relationship, to feel like a prude if they want to take things slowly. Because eventually, if things start to get too serious - make that AT ALL serious -you feel like you have the freedom to run off and find some more girls to fcuk without commitment and some more girls to be friends with, and "no harm done".

How do I ruin it? They don't have to sleep with me. I have NO problem being in a monogamous relationship weather or not the sex is given immediately or things move slowly so long as the woman is worth being monogamous with. The problem is there is no one out there worth have a relationship from my point of view. Girls my age have NO ability to perceive me as the vast majority of them haven't had the necessary life experiences to shape their mental and emotional lens in a way to bring me withing their conceptual perceptional range. Older woman have lost their dreams and spirit.

Why would I want to commit myself to someone who has no ability to exist within tandem? ... Exactly...

[lahnnabell]

I mean a lady that will knock your socks off and keep her self-respect by being a good, strong woman. You've been dating pre-schoolers. Don't you dare lower those standards. It'll happen when you're ready

[Graham Berkeley]

I mean a lady that will knock your socks off and keep her self-respect by being a good, strong woman. You've been dating pre-schoolers. Don't you dare lower those standards. It'll happen when you're ready

A woman like that wouldn't want me. I'm noticing that who or whatever I am is totally outside the perceptible range of "normal" people so I tend to attract some very... ... interesting... individuals...

In order to really ever achieve anything in life you have to operate totally outside the established frame work. Problem is their a lot of crazies out here...

[lahnnabell]

A lot of women are crazy. Totally true. However it's not really crazy. I think the problem is that they're taught to grow up with these insanely unreasonable explanations. We're force fed sappy love stories involving ideas like soul mates and love at first sight. Once we get into the real world of dating we discover that most people are kinda screwed up and that we all carry around some form of baggage.

Women mistake feelings of lust and desire for what they think is true love. We're taught to believe that the ultimate goal in a woman's life should be to obtain the affections of a man. And so most of us attempt to do so in any way necessary. This involves sleeping with men (yes we do it for the enjoyment too), changing our values or standards to fit the guy and settling. We do all sorts of stupid shit for various reasons.

[Graham Berkeley]

A lot of women are crazy. Totally true. However it's not really crazy. I think the problem is that they're taught to grow up with these insanely unreasonable explanations. We're force fed sappy love stories involving ideas like soul mates and love at first sight. Once we get into the real world of dating we discover that most people are kinda screwed up and that we all carry around some form of baggage.

Women mistake feelings of lust and desire for what they think is true love. We're taught to believe that the ultimate goal in a woman's life should be to obtain the affections of a man. And so most of us attempt to do so in any way necessary. This involves sleeping with men (yes we do it for the enjoyment too), changing our values or standards to fit the guy and settling. We do all sorts of stupid shit for various reasons.

Totally true.

Wish I could find a girl who liked me for me. Instead I find the girls who latch on and become needy and are totally incapable of achieving any goals in their life and then I find the ones who are totally capable of achieving their goals and think once they have you you have been conquered and you should shut up and enjoy the fact they choose to spend any time around you. The ones who expect you to give, attention, money, lifestyle and flip the **** out when you ask for something in return. Those are the main two demographic with American women today. Think I'll have a better shot finding Miss Right back home in Canada or even in Europe.

[ecojeanne]

i'm kinda getting sick of silly threads like this. in some ways i don't fully believe the thread starters. however to give the benefit of the doubt then my thoughts are: why would a man not want the full package? as far as i know most men do and have done for a long time. unless society has changed dramatically and men now just see women as usable in separate aspects like the making of sandwich these days: got someone to put the bread and butter, somone else to fill the sandwich and in the end you get the final product and satisfaction. but what happens when the the filler gets sick and suddenly the bread and butter guy has to fill the sandwich....argh! chaos he's never filled the sandwich before. and then no sandwich and therefore starvation for the client.

i dunno if that made you hungry or even made any sense to anyone but it's how i look at these silly threads

[lovesjoyajm]

Totally true.

Wish I could find a girl who liked me for me. Instead I find the girls who latch on and become needy and are totally incapable of achieving any goals in their life and then I find the ones who are totally capable of achieving their goals and think once they have you you have been conquered and you should shut up and enjoy the fact they choose to spend any time around you. The ones who expect you to give, attention, money, lifestyle and flip the **** out when you ask for something in return. Those are the main two demographic with American women today. Think I'll have a better shot finding Miss Right back home in Canada or even in Europe.

I agree. Go to Canada and find yourself a sexy polar bear to fcuk. You wouldn't recognize a decent woman if you met one, anyway.

[vashti]

I love it how when a guy can't attract a decent woman, there must be a problem with all American women. (rolling eyes) It's like those Asian fetish guys who buy themselves brides foreign brides because American women are so deficient.

And WE are supposed to be the problem!

[Luca]

For the record...I know that it is not always the women who are clingy, desperate, and base their identity on their partner.

Also, sometimes it is the man who wants to be in a relationship while the women are just looking to be FWB. I have never been a FWB type of gal, but I have seen several of my friends deal with a guy they just wanted a sexual relationship with push for more.

[Gigabitch]

That, in my experience, is pretty unusual, Luca.

[Luca]

I can think of three different times off the top of my head that I have seen it happen. Of course, all three of my friends involved are beautiful, intelligent, and over-all amazing women. I can see why any man would want to pin them down.

In my own experience......I am not up for FWB, but I also don't want marriage/kids. I have never, ever initiated the "where is this going" talk....and the men I have dated always brought up exclusivity, commitment, etc. Even when casually dating, they were the ones who wanted to turn it into a more serious relationship.

[Gigabitch]

Please hook some of them up with our Graham.

[vashti]

I am not up for FWB, but I also don't want marriage/kids. I have never, ever initiated the "where is this going" talk....and the men I have dated always brought up exclusivity, commitment, etc. Even when casually dating, they were the ones who wanted to turn it into a more serious relationship.

I think some women have qualities that seem to attract this type... I have always attracted the stick-around type.

[Graham Berkeley]

I agree. Go to Canada and find yourself a sexy polar bear to fcuk. You wouldn't recognize a decent woman if you met one, anyway.

I meet "decent" all the time. I have no problem attracting them... Maybe you guys missed the point of this thread. I don't want a DECENT woman. I want a COMPLETE woman. Complete women are, from what I have been able to tell thus far, TOTALLY non existent.

Actually all I think I am really looking for is a woman with similar capacities as me. The problem is that women really don't have to make any real accomplishments in their life or have any real life experiences so long as they are DECENT. I don't want a woman like that.