Why can't the goal of sex to just have fun?

[jane]

ROFL.. um I prefer horses.. for obvious reasons..

[squirrley]

aww man you kill me girl...

now I know what the hell that funny sound is when were talking on the phone...

[jane]

dammit..
you found me out, um.. please dont tell anyone ok?
Yikes...

*runs and puts a muzle on the horse* .. damn shut up

[Innova]

Because im in love
Because its fun
Because it feels so damn good
Because I feel alive

I have sex for four reasons, and for these four reasons. However without number one (love), then none of it happens. I'm not a person to just have sex for the hell of it, I consider it something special, and sure I can get ruff with it...but in love comes lust, but never lust alone. I just can't do it unless I'm with em and care for em.

[squirrley]

I agree that I only have sex with someone that I truly care about. I cant do one night stands either-oh I said that before in another thread.

Sex is only great when youre with the person you truly know and its not just SEX its more than that-its on a deeper emotional level-thats why I gave the kids in here a lecture if you will...

But I agree with you Innova!!!

[Fawn]

TooShort On a different note, watch out for them 18 year olds ... they have a BITE that stings ... take it from a pro ...

...hehe... I'm 18... lol...

[Bonovox40]

She could just have some growing up to do in more ways then one. At least her being comfortable around me should be an asset. I'm encouraging her to be more free with expressing how she feels/thinks and what she wants to do. Sometimes we talk about certain issues and she's like "really? I didn't think you were ok with "flobnarb" so I didn't say anything. I'm glad we're both on the same wavelength." Basically it could be minor things BUT she's using her experience with her past bf's to generalize what she expects I would like. So if a past bf didn't like "flobnarbing", then she figures I must be the same even if I actually do like "flobnarbing". So she's growing a little more day by day at least with her understanding of me.

PS, I highly recommend flobnarbing to those who haven't tried. lol

[BillyGalbreath]

wtf is flobnarbing ?

[Bonovox40]

lol. I thought you'd get that. I meant it as a hypothetical "fill in the blank" noun. You know, like those dumb math questions in school where it says "If a sprocket costs $5, and a thingamajig costs $3. Then how many..." Catch my drift?

(kinda off topic) Billy, I saw that post about the virgin question and I read your back post. Don't know if anything in your life has changed but don't feel bad. I was a virgin until 24!

I had opportunities before but it was with people that really didn't give two craps about me. I wanted it to be special so I waited and ended up having sex with my ex and at the time we were both in love so it WAS special. We're not together and it ended badly over other events, but I don't look back on that actuall time it first happened because it was great! I knew it was what I wanted and what she wanted too at the time and i'll always have a positive experience looking back on it.

All i'm saying is if you really want it like how it sounds like you do, (with feelings and love and a mutual desire) then find someone who shares that view. I know you might not want to hear any more advice and this and that, but I was in the same boat as you. The only thing was we were both virgins at the time. (This is 2 ex's ago) We had a pretty good phyiscal relationship but she didn't want to go "all the way". Everything else was fair game. I didn't push it and we stayed together for about 2 years. She knew I wanted to and everynow and then i'd try to talk with her (same way it sounds you have) and she gave a "I don't know, i'm just not ready excuse."
Well, long story short, she basically fell out of love with me, I broke it off, and the next guy she went with she fell in love because they shared some similar fetishes that I wasn't into, and she banged him in a matter of weeks.

All i'm saying is if you're with someone and just sharing love isn't enough to make her WANT to express that with you ESPECIALLY if she's not a virgin, then it's not going to happen. She obviously wants it to be with someone else with different traits. Sounds sh*tty, but women who want something specific that you don't have, can postpone things indefinatly. Enjoy your youth while you have it and find someone who wants to be with you because they love you and share that experience with someone who WANTS to share it with you. Don't waste another year like I did struggling to convince someone that you love them enough to share your gift when they don't want it. Good luck with things!

Just my .25 cents. :-)

[BillyGalbreath]

...(kinda off topic) Billy, I saw that post about the virgin question and I read your back post. Don't know if anything in your life has changed but don't feel bad. I was a virgin until 24!...

Um... I am lost - what are you talking about ? I am not a virgin - I lost my virginity at 16 - I have 3 kids now... I think I am missing the point to your post... ...

[Bonovox40]

Oh whoops! I mixed up the names. Sorry about that.

I said Billy but I meant Sfalexi. It was in regards to his reply on a post, not one from you. My Bad. Just got mixed up with the multiple posts going back and forth.

[sfalexi]

No prob. I kind feel out of the loop sometimes being the only guy I know, (LITERALLY out of all the guys I know) cause I'm the only big V in the group, but I guess I'll just wait and see what happens. It's not a bad thing. Some of them wonder why I'm waiting and would prefer me to 'get it over with', some of them admire that I'm waiting so I won't have a bad first experience, but all of them respect my decision and don't give me shit about it. So it's all good.

Alexi

[BillyGalbreath]

well, alexi - you are the first person thats older than 18 and still a virgin that I have ever talked to. I thought ppl like you died off a long time ago - lol --- no but seriously, I am one that thinks its great of you to wait. Sometimes I wish I would have waited, but I am proud of my kids and I wouldn't give them up for aything. And yes - being a single parent is hella hard. But I am not gonna have sex for a long ass time. I have decided that much. So far - every girl that I have stuck it in has had a baby... So yeah... Sex is off my todo list for some time to come. I'm going to hold out until I meet that special someone - and even when i meet them I'm gonna hold out for as long as I can to make sure it IS the special someone -- So in a way I am doing the same as you... Only diff is our pasts...

[sfalexi]

So far - every girl that I have stuck it in has had a baby... So yeah... Sex is off my todo list for some time to come.

lol. Maybe you just have like SUPER sperm or something. They fly around with capes and giant "S"s on their chests inside the woman. Uh oh . . . it's their only weakness! Spermicidal lubricant! OH NO!

Sorry. I'm really friggin' tired this morning. Well, time for me to be off to my haircut.

Alexi

[Bonovox40]

Hehe. I used to think they were a dying breed too. ESPECIALLY in college where I felt like I was the only one in the world. (But I have a female friend who's 25 and a virgin, but I give her props for it)

It was hard when I was around 20. All my friends kept telling me what I was missing and to just to it and have fun. I wanted too, but with someone special so I turned down offers for flings and such (and got called gay for it by women, but I brushed it off) because they didn't really care about who I am.

So Alexi, don't worry about it so much. As long as you have sex before the age Michael Jackson did, you're ok. lol jk. I remember a spoof song someone did where they said "Still a virgin and i'm 33" so I laugh when I think of that.
When it's the right person and the right time, you'll know without a doubt. It will just feel right when that moment happens. That's how it was for me. We're not together anymore but it was a great experience and it just felt right. I would never get back with my ex but I don't look back on that moment with any regrets because it was a stepping stone into the responsibility and excitement of sexual freedom.
I still look back and feel good about being a virign for so long because not at lot of people have the willpower to stay that way when the temptation to just have sex for the hell of it, comes along.

It's good your friends are cool about it. Mine always ragged me some but they didn't push it when it came down to my feelings on it. And don't worry that you NEED experience to be a good lover. Sure, hearing things from multiple women always FEELS good, but you could be with one person the rest of your life sexually the biggest stud in her eyes. I've only gone "all the way" with two women, but if I got married tomorrow, I wouldn't have any regrets that I didn't "sow my wild oats" more or anything. Your desires to run around fertilizing everything changes with age and maturity. (although for some it never does as we see sometimes. "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" lol"
At least I feel good in a way that i've had a girl I had some almost all the way action with has slightly stalked me for 2 years because she thought I was the best lover she ever had and we didn't even go all the way! She's been with quite a few guys so I must've been doing something right! ;-)

The best sex comes from being with someone who shares the same views as you do and is comfortable just sharing that part of life with you. If you have to struggle to convince someone to have sex, or they want to do crazy stuff you're not into, then sex can downright be lousy. I've had times where I just wanted to walk out of the room and go wack it myself because I could give myself a better time. :-P So just hang in there and wait for that someone special. Even if you meet someone special, don't rush it. I'd suggest a month of solid dating (30 dates, not 30 days) or more before commiting to sex. Even if she pushes the notion. If she can't respect you for waiting till you get to know her, then she's not worth it. Don't be like so many who look back and say "Damn. Why couldn't my first time be something special?"

Good luck and stay strong!