In some cases that term gold digger should totally not be used. As an example, vashti already mentioned the importance of money especially if you want to raise kids, educate them and all that.
In some cases that term gold digger should totally not be used. As an example, vashti already mentioned the importance of money especially if you want to raise kids, educate them and all that.
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
I think the males that are sensitive to a female caring about his income are the ones that feel they are inadequate. Men who are proud of their work (regardless of pay) demonstrate confidence.
And you are right (coco and asip) - I never considered myself to be a gold digger. I am actually rather modest in my lifestyle. But I am sure that some men would have characterized me that way. especially the poor ones. lol.
Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?
My problem with women is that the ones who DO like me are usually the ones who I'm not attracted to. Always the obese and short women want me but I'm not really attracted to these types. I prefer tall and skinny women (not the very skinny ones so the bones are visible but skinny).
I guess I have no reason to complain though when the good-looking women reject me because I also kind of reject the ones who I'm not attracted to.
One guy once told me and I believe he was totally right: "You make it seem like it is completely unfair that someone would reject you, so if you had rejected girls yourself, that would make you a bit hypocritical I think.".
Last edited by uri; 11-02-10 at 04:47 AM.
Money is extremely important to women, some more than others. Either way they all want it. I'm a dude and I want money, but I know I'm going to have to make it if I want the things I do.
God, why cant we all just go Dutch all the time. I would save SOOO much money on dating. Geez
My ex had a little bit of money and she would pick up the tab for dinner every now and then. It was really nice actually. We'd also split vacations which was cool.
God, why can't men be prettier I would save SOOOOO much on makeup, boots, and awesome hair do's.
Dog- I'd think most women treat their men to something nice when they can afford to do so. I certainly do! And vacations of COURSE the cost is split. What kind of women are you dating that this isn't normal?
Is it normal? I've really only had 2 serious relationships. My college GF whom I dated for 2 years. She bought me stuff every now and then, and we split vacations. My most recent ex and I dated for just under 2 years. She really didnt buy me anything actually, besides picking up dinner now and again.
Hmmm...she made decent money too...now that I'm thinking about it, she really didn't buy me many things or even pick up dinner much. It was 90% me.
This actually leads me to a question. I drive a nice car which is left over from when I made really good money for the past 2 years. I started dating this woman and I picked her up in my car. First thing as she gets in "nice car". I also spent wayy too much money on our date and I'm afraid I set the bar too high for myself, as I really cant afford to go out to $120 dinners followed by $80 worth of drinks much.
Last edited by Dogtoast; 11-02-10 at 06:19 AM.
I don't know where I stand on "Poor people should not have kids" issue. A lot of poor households have kids and a vast majority of them grow into mature, functional and educated adults. While affluent households in many cases produce kids with all kinds of problems because parents work as managers and CEOs long hours and never see their children. I think income should be considered, but other areas are more important and should take priority over it.
I think it's definitely a gray area.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
Why on god's green earth would you spend 200 on a first date? Sorry but IDIOT comes to mind. Anyways if she likes you this isn't going to be a big deal. She should be smart enough to know you're trying to impress. And if you have a nice car, and she said nice car what's the problem isn't that why you wanted a nice car in the first place? So that you and your dates and friends get to admire and enjoy it?
About your ex's yeah it's normal (I think) to want to treat your partner to nice things. I do not have anything close to a big disposable budget but I do my best. I buy the groceries around here. I'll treat him to his favorite ice cream. I'll buy him a treat that I wouldn't normally buy. It's almost always small significantly cheap things I buy- but it's what I can afford. And he appriacties it. I'll pick up breakfast once in a while. I can't afford the dinners or I'll take him for pho becasue it is the only thing I can pay for. So yeah, I buy little things but it's still 90% him. Though in terms of proportion I spend way more on him than he does on me. Yeah, he makes a lot 4 times as much as I do to be exact.
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
LOL! I didnt know the damned Japanese steakhouse would be that expensive! Then at the second place we went to drink, she kept drinking these pomegranite martinis that had to be like $10/each. Thats my excuse and you know its a good one.
The whole car comment thing....you're right thats exactly why I wanted it. Her commenting on it though was just something I noticed and I dont want her thinking I'm loaded.
My college ex did things like buy me cheap little presents and that meant a lot to me. My most recent ex did not do that. Its really sweet that you do that for your guy, so he's lucky because it made me feel special when it was done for me.
Well if she's the "high maintence" girls you're talking about inanother thread she could very well be interested in your nice car and the fancy dinner.
BTW I would be very hesitant to order multiple $10 drinks and not even offering to help with the tab (yes, deep down I want the guy to pipe in and say no, I got it but I'd still offer). In fact I think that's pretty really rude! But to me if a guy took me out to dinner and it was really expensive I for one would make a comment to the effect wow, it ain't cheap! Don't worry you don't have to spend a fortune on me and proceed to order something not that expensive. And then I'd offer to pick up the desert, coffee, or in your case: drink tab. He spend 120 I spend 80. That's just me.
You know those down to earth girls... well you're far more likely to get one of those whoose more on my page.
I actually forgot to mention that at the second place she tipped the 3 bartenders that were serving us drinks. So she did a little somethin' I forgot about that.....That's something, right?
I'm not sure about this one yet. She's definitely attractive and doesnt wear a lot of make up. She doesnt go out much and is a triple major who also is really big into the college theater program. She comes from money and likes nice clothes etc, I'm just not sure how much that makes her high maintenance. If she's got her own (parents) money, thats going to make her less likely to want mine I guess?
Maybe but she might also believe she is entitled to the fine things in life... things that she doesn't need to get for herself. She might expect YOU to get, supply, provide, and give her this shit.
If she's baller I think it's pathetic she didn't offer more. In fact that's a strike against her.
Yeah you're right. Thing is I just dont know what her financial situation is. She doesnt work, so I know she gets money for everything from her parents. She knows my situation as I opened up to her about everything thats going on in my life. I might have to suck up my pride at some point, and if she wants to do something possibly expensive, I'll have to mention the possibility of us doing it Dutch.
Ive only been out with her once so I might be putting the cart before the horse, but I'm not spending a shit ton of money on this broad.