Hit a brick wall.

[FrailWings]

I'm just going to update this daily, so you's all know how i'm feeling etc.

I was out last night, had a really good time. Found out the other girl who i thought liked me, well according to a few people and her friends, is going to the movies with some other boy, so thats gone. Not really bothered too much by that. Again i've woke up, feeling down in the dumps, perked myself up, then felt down again. I hate the ups and downs at the minute. Just another day in road to recovery, i'll keep you's update (:

[FrailWings]

Hey guys! Wow! I've had one of the best weekends of my life, i went to a few places in town, and i met people, i haven't spoken to for a while. I met loads of people, and this weekend has been really good fun. However, last night, i bumped into one of my ex's best friend... She's very good friends with my friend who came, so they were talking. She didn't recognise me at first, but then she realised who i was, thankfully, she was fine with me, and there was no harsh feelings between us 2. However her boyfriend decided to be a complete d*ck, which i didn't take too kindly, he doesn't know my ex, but i think 1too many drinks, caused him to become a d*ck.

However, next weekend i've got planned out, so i'm extremely occupied now. Bearing all this in mind, i've still had my down moments, and i've really really missed my ex this weekend. I haven't spoken to her in 10 days now, but i have missed her alot. I've been on FaceBook abit, i posted a note, it was like "100 random questions". 10 minutes after posting it, she deleted all her notes with me in, and put on her facebook status "Doesn't know why she lets it bother her. Some people make me physically sick." It seems she is trying to have sly digs at me on FaceBook which i don't get.

Any suggestions?

[pinkinterlude]

I'm glad you're having fun. I know its a weird time cos one minute you can forget everything and just have fun and then the next, you suddenly remember everything and it hits you all over again.

I wouldnt worry about the facebook stuff, did you mention her or something in your notes? I think its quite telling that she reacted like that, she obviously still wants your attention, and seeing as you've not spoken in 10 days, it seems to be getting to her. So bear in mind that she too probably feels like you do, even if it doesnt seem that way. Was this facebook stuff before or after you saw her friend?

I've got a busy week coming up too, but still I'm not as excited which is rubbish. But I'm determined to have a good time. My friends have been a big help.

The update with my situation is that he texts randomly out of the blue on thurs telling me that he has his driving test coming up and that he bets me a pint that he'll pass before me. Then on friday night, it was his gig, his first without me there, he was texting me literally everything that was happening, even though I wasnt replying. Then he asks if we can meet up cos he needs to talk about things.

I met up with him yesterday, he was acting all normal with me, just chatting away. I tried to be less chatty and more distant with him but its so hard not to, considering it wasnt a bad break up. He eventually said that he just wanted to see me and that he misses me and he enjoys spending time with me. He said he wants things between us to work but for us 'to go slowly'. I don't know what he means by that. I told him I had to think about it but have since said I think we could work.
Im just gonna follow his lead and get on with my own life for the timebeing. I think before I got too swept into everything and him, and with everything with his ex, at least I can still spend time with him, and be how it was when we first got together.
I feel like Ive finally being given some answers. But I'm still gonna concentrate on myself and give us space. I don't know if Ive done the right thing in all of this, but I know I'll regret it if I just walked away.

But frailwings, keep doing what you're doing, and you'll be fine. You seem like a great guy and don't let her bother you. The best thing you can do is not react, especially on facebook. Let her come to you, if thats what she wants. By you not reacting, you're being the bigger, more mature person. you'll be frustrating her even more because it seems more than anything that she wants some kind of reaction from you.

[FrailWings]

Thanks for the reply.

The note was things such as, who have you last kissed? Have you recently fallen out of love? Have you kissed someone and regretted it? Have you met someone you like recently? Just silly little questions.

And it was before i seen her friend.

In your case, it's good that he wants to take things slowly, if you take it slowly, so he's not like rushing into things. You've got the upper hand here, you can allow him into your life, on your rules. Just give it time, and see how things go. I'd give a hell of alot to be in your shoes, in terms of having your ex, saying they miss you, and want to be together/make things work.

It'll all work for the better in the end, regardless of what your decision is, if you want to get back with him or not.

[FrailWings]

In addition, i've been tagged on FaceBook, with some girls, like i know them, and they're just friends. I told them before they tagged me, my ex will leave something on her status like "Creased". Something sly, and what'd you know she's left, "Is massively amused! Ahahaaaa (:"

That was abit obvious that she's left a status like that, within 10 minutes of me being tagged in pictures of me being in town.

I really don't understand her now.

[cmacattack1]

I'm glad you're having fun. I know its a weird time cos one minute you can forget everything and just have fun and then the next, you suddenly remember everything and it hits you all over again.

I wouldnt worry about the facebook stuff, did you mention her or something in your notes? I think its quite telling that she reacted like that, she obviously still wants your attention, and seeing as you've not spoken in 10 days, it seems to be getting to her. So bear in mind that she too probably feels like you do, even if it doesnt seem that way. Was this facebook stuff before or after you saw her friend?

I've got a busy week coming up too, but still I'm not as excited which is rubbish. But I'm determined to have a good time. My friends have been a big help.

The update with my situation is that he texts randomly out of the blue on thurs telling me that he has his driving test coming up and that he bets me a pint that he'll pass before me. Then on friday night, it was his gig, his first without me there, he was texting me literally everything that was happening, even though I wasnt replying. Then he asks if we can meet up cos he needs to talk about things.

I met up with him yesterday, he was acting all normal with me, just chatting away. I tried to be less chatty and more distant with him but its so hard not to, considering it wasnt a bad break up. He eventually said that he just wanted to see me and that he misses me and he enjoys spending time with me. He said he wants things between us to work but for us 'to go slowly'. I don't know what he means by that. I told him I had to think about it but have since said I think we could work.
Im just gonna follow his lead and get on with my own life for the timebeing. I think before I got too swept into everything and him, and with everything with his ex, at least I can still spend time with him, and be how it was when we first got together.
I feel like Ive finally being given some answers. But I'm still gonna concentrate on myself and give us space. I don't know if Ive done the right thing in all of this, but I know I'll regret it if I just walked away.

It's better to have done something than to not and have lived in regret. I'm telling you. I'm glad things are kind of getting better but you aren't out of the woods yet. Usually when you want to "take things slow" it's like starting over in a way. Which you can't really but it's better than just diving right back into it. It's a more mature way to do it and you are more self aware of what's going on this time and you know what is right and not right.

In addition, i've been tagged on FaceBook, with some girls, like i know them, and they're just friends. I told them before they tagged me, my ex will leave something on her status like "Creased". Something sly, and what'd you know she's left, "Is massively amused! Ahahaaaa (:"

That was abit obvious that she's left a status like that, within 10 minutes of me being tagged in pictures of me being in town.

I really don't understand her now.

I wouldn't boost your ego here thinking she is doing this because of you. Stop obsessing over her updates and shiiiitt. Hide all her posts. You are messing with your own head here. Until she tells you how she feels or what she is thinking, you don't know what's going on with her. Don't assume.

[pinkinterlude]

yeh he hasnt even contacted me at all today, its kind of sad cos we would talk everyday. I don't even know what I actual am to him. Am I his girlfriend again? Does this leave open to see other people? Hes not the type to, and we had a long talk and he knows I have reservations, I dont wan to get hurt and he said he doesnt want to hurt me. I think we need to try and establish things but I feel like its been all too much serious talk and not fun and happy how it used to be. I think both of us want to return to that point. what's your interpretation of 'taking things slow'?

I'm just still trying to do my own thing now though, and not get all swept up in him again.

Frail wings: she's definately doing this to get your attention. follow cmacattack's advice and hide her posts. It'll make things worse especially if you really do want ot get over her.

[FrailWings]

I don't like want to get over her completely if that makes sense?

Like, i'm willing to move on, but i don't want to shut the door completely on the relationship, obviously in an ideal world, i'd want to be together with her. I am trying to move on, doing NC etc.

[FrailWings]

Hey, someones just advised me to break the NC, and speak to her, to "break the water", because she maybe regretting breaking up with me. This is bad advice right? They said, doing nothing isn't going to do anything, unless, you want her to move on.

Thanks for any replies in advance,

[cmacattack1]

That's why alot of people don't know what the hell to do in relationships.

That's why we all end up here after it doesn't work.

You have your doubts and don't give in because somebody else tells you to. I asked every single person I knew what to do until one person told me to talk to my ex because that's what I wanted to hear and what I wanted to do. I did and all I did was make things worse. You have to leave it be. It hasn't been that long in the big picture.

Stay strong man.

[FrailWings]

Thanks for the reply. I'm trying my best, I'm starting to really get my perspective back. Each day in general makes things easier, I do get down. But I know if I can battle through the rough times I'll get better.

I got tagged on FaceBook with some girls I know down town in some pictures, I think that's really got to her. I'm not sure how you block feeds etc on Facebook so they don't show in minifeed etc

[cmacattack1]

I think things will be alot easier once you stop thinking things like "that'll get to her" and stuff like that. Do not worry about it. Really. You aren't doing this to get to her right? You are doing this because it is making you happy and you are getting your life back. Enjoy it. Who cares what she thinks or how she feels right now about it. It's not your concern. You don't want to scare her into being back with you do you? Even if it worked, if she hasn't grown from it, it wouldn't work anyway.

You can block from seeing people's feeds by the little box in the corner. You can block her from seeing your feeds in the privacy section.

[FrailWings]

I was sorting some stuff out last night, stumbled across, some cards she sent me for my Birthday, Christmas and our 1 year. That upset me a little, ended up having another dream about her.

So far today has been okay, not felt that down, although, i dreamt about her etc, i've had lots of things to take my mind off things so far, like exams. It feels like i'm resisting completely detatching myself from her now, and i don't know why. 13 days of NC so far.

[FrailWings]

2 weeks of NC now. Guys, i don't know if this valuable or not. But i do remember, my girlfriend, getting extremely emotional throughout December. She'd come to mine, then she'd start crying. Like, just the littlest things started making her cry. It was like once every week, she'd just get EXTREMELY emotional.

She told me, it was stress etc, but she would just cry for a good hour, and i would eventually calm her down, and then she'd be fine. She is a very complicated girl, but that is confusing in a way. She would literally break down in my bedroom, or in her house, and i'd cheer her up after an hour or something.

I also remember, her saying, she never felt like i loved her, i never showed it etc. I'm starting to remember the things in the build up. It was her being very emotional, and claiming that i didn't love her, and she didn't feel loved off me.

Any comments on that?

[pinkinterlude]

NC is valuable. I know it seems like a lifetime but 2 weeks isn't really that long. It's normal to look back and over analyse every single thing and think maybe I did this wrong, maybe I should have done that.

She told you what was wrong and confided in you, which shows she trusted you. So the reality is that she's probably doing the same thing as you right now, and she's probably feeling down about things like you too.

The fact that you sat there and consoled her, listened to her problems, tried to cheer her up, just being there with her anyway shows just how much you care for her. You didnt have to sit there and listen, you werent forced to, but you did, and I would count myself lucky that I had someone like that. Im lucky that I do.

Don't pick out things then put yourself down. You'll drive yourself crazy. Obviously you should acknowledge what went wrong so that you don't do the same in future but you can't change someone's mind or opinion, and that's just what this is.