What is flirting?

[whaywardj]

Not exactly what I was looking for. But interesting. Seems "flirt" covers a lot of territory for some.

What I was aiming at was identifying the DEFINING quality of "flirt" in the sense of its first definition, "to playfully make romantic or sexual overtures" (as opposed to dealing trifingly with, as in "flirting with danger").

I've come to think the defining quality is the possibility that what flirting implies could actually happen. If the "flirter" doesn't convey to the "flirtee" the impression (or threat, depending on your point of view) that a romantic or sexual encounter might actually happen, then the flirter isn't flirting. He or she is doing something else. But it's not flirting. For it to be flirting, the possibility of sex or romance actually happening has to remain open to question. Otherwise, it's just being cute, or charming, or engaging...or something else.

[misombra]

i hold more of a liberal view on flirtation. to me flirtation is just making a person feel good about themselves and desireable. i'm not sure that you're necessarily giving someone the impression that a romantic situation might happen, but making them feel like they could be romantic, they just to have it brought out of them.

i don't know, maybe it's silly.

[Debunkt]

flirting is way too ambiguous of a term. Honestly, nowadays, if you're nice to the opposite sex, and can carry on a conversation and laugh, SOMEBODY will think you're flirting. They're just jealous.

... I'm a cancer!

[misombra]

yaaaaaaaaay we got another one!

...and i agree.

[whaywardj]

i'm not sure that you're necessarily giving someone the impression that a romantic situation might happen, but making them feel like they could be romantic, they just to have it brought out of them...i don't know, maybe it's silly.

No. Not at all. And point taken. I should loosen the definitional boundry a little. But, I want to be clear that by saying "giving the impression" I didn't mean to imply lewdness or out-and-out advances. I meant more along the lines of what you say: to inspire in the "flirtee" a sense they are, indeed, "flirt worthy." Which, almost of neccessity, it seems to me, would provoke them to imagine, "Hm. I wonder what it WOULD be like to..." THAT element of potentiality is what I was calling the defining quality flirting. If that doesn't happen in the flirtee's mind, then they're not being flirted with. They're merely being flattered.

I think I said that right.

[shh!]

I don't flirt if I REALLY want someone - I become too shy to speak. So yeah - I agree with misombra's definition.

[misombra]

i think people can conjure potentiality from a varying degree of cues, depending on how trusting they are.

i don't see a difference in flirting and flattering. what you call it is what you call it. the name is as arbitrary as it's concept suggests.

[whaywardj]

Hey. I'm a word maven. I enjoy pulling at the threads of meaning to see how the weave of word can stretch or turn. Not a matter of being right or wrong; agreeing or disagreeing.

[shh!]

I agree with your definition too whaywardj. It must be because you are so smart and handsome, not to mention culturally sophisticated. Where have you been all my life? My heart beats faster just knowing you are out there somewhere...


hehe

[whaywardj]

Puh-leese.

[misombra]

i'll agree with the definition that it's about bending boundaries like you say, 'flirting with danger'. pushing people beyond their comfort threshold.

[Rosebud]

Not exactly what I was looking for. But interesting. Seems "flirt" covers a lot of territory for some.

What I was aiming at was identifying the DEFINING quality of "flirt" in the sense of its first definition, "to playfully make romantic or sexual overtures" (as opposed to dealing trifingly with, as in "flirting with danger").

I've come to think the defining quality is the possibility that what flirting implies could actually happen. If the "flirter" doesn't convey to the "flirtee" the impression (or threat, depending on your point of view) that a romantic or sexual encounter might actually happen, then the flirter isn't flirting. He or she is doing something else. But it's not flirting. For it to be flirting, the possibility of sex or romance actually happening has to remain open to question. Otherwise, it's just being cute, or charming, or engaging...or something else.

I think to flirt with someone there has to be some kind of attraction whether it be male or female, but depending on the severity of flirting it could be taken as a more romantic/sexual gesture. But I look at it as being cute, and making others fell good about themselves without the intention of being "interested" in them unless I take the flirting to another degree.

[Asip4u]

I think to flirt with someone there has to be some kind of attraction whether it be male or female, but depending on the severity of flirting it could be taken as a more romantic/sexual gesture. But I look at it as being cute, and making others fell good about themselves without the intention of being "interested" in them unless I take the flirting to another degree.

"another degree"..hahah..good stuff Rosebud

[RSK]

No - I'm not a "cancer."

I'm just a boy!

i don't know if you are really cancer or not (i don't believe in that crap either), but i am cancer, and if you are too, then that's just NUTS, because we are so similar!

[Rosebud]

"another degree"..hahah..good stuff Rosebud

Well it's true, I mean if I'm just picking on someone or giggling at their jokes it's just playful but if I go as far as to come off sexy to them like bending over in front of their face to pick something up, or slightly brush my body up against there's then I have taken it to another degree which it could then be interpreted as a sexual gesture..