Would you download porn at the office?

[carpflounder]

This is a problem on a number of levels. I guess number one is that if he gets fired, we lose our health insurance - not good since we have a two year old son. I just graduated school this past may and am looking for a job. he is our only source of income right now and we just bought a house is august. if he loses his job we will be seriously f*cked. And then there is the fact that he is staying late to *fix* something instead of coming home. what does that have to say about how much he looks forward to coming home to wife and son????

Kay..just a quick question: "Why in the hell did you get into a relationship with this guy?''

And second, you said that if he gets fired that you will leave him. How in the hell are you going to leave him??

Just curious.

[Rosebud]

Ok there could be a lot of issues here. I would talk to him about all this but I would also try different things with him. Put your son to bed early one night and tell him he has to be home for a special dinner and wear lingerie or serve it naked. Do you know what kind of porn he likes? Tell him your going to make yuor own movie when he gets home. Make him excited to come home. I'm somewhat dealing with the same thing without the porn now anyways, that used to be a factor!!

Then I would tell him it's not error-proof and really tell him how concerned you are with him doing that at work.

[jendenovum]

Carp - you're right, it would be very hard to leave him. not only because i love him but because i am strapped for cash hahahha. i have known him 8 years. i know he has a thing for porn, but only i only learned last week that he is doing this at work.

Rose - with him, it doesn't matter if we had sex 5 times a day. we could have sex at 2 pm and then at 3 pm when i go grocery shopping and he is home alone, he will hop on the computer. Same thing if he gets home before me.

He is still very interested in me too, but lately i dont feel as interested in him....

This really sucks. A kid i went to high school with moved away when his dad lost his job for looking at porn at the office. i couldnt even imagine the embarassment.

[jendenovum]

BTW - what did you mean.....

"I'm somewhat dealing with the same thing without the porn now anyways, that used to be a factor!!"

[Rosebud]

well Before, during, and after I had my daughter I would catch my bf on the puter doing his thing which would ahve been ok if I still would have been getting some action. At first I was bothered becasue it was taking the place of me, but then I started doing other things and it got him away from that and more focused on me. Well even still if he would be home by himself now I'm sure he would do it but I can accept that because well.. I do the same thing. But just an insight into my situation, I know it's a lot of reading but take a look at this... It's a little different than yours with what's going on but I'm basically in a similar boat.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/t9941-relationship-routine.html[/url]

[jendenovum]

I just read it all...long but worthwhile. My situation with my husband and son is very different. We had been together 4 years, broke up for 2 and now back together 2. Well when we broke up i got pregnant by a total loser. Current hub and i worked things out and he has been around since my son was born. he honestly couldnt love him more if it were his own son. They are great with eachother. he shares duties like cooking, cleaning up and even changing diapers. when i get stressed out he will watch the baby (2 and half year old) so that i can go out with my friends.

Now i can say that i do NOT look as good as before I got pregnant. I am just as thin as before, but my stomach got all strectched and nasty and now i have a dumpy butt. However, he almost always initiates sex and will make an A+ effort to make me fully satisfied.

Ugh. I love everything about him except this porn thing. Now i will deal with it because at home when I am not there is one thing.... But now it seems like he is going out of his way to be sneaky and he is risking ALOT...

WTF?!?! It is so not his personality and if i told anyone they probably wouldnt even believe it.

[Junsui]

So did he tell you he was DLing porn at work after hours?

[misombra]

Maybe he just has a self-control problem or porn problem.

there's no maybe about it.

[jendenovum]

Hahaha. I was waiting for that question.

Nope - his boss just got him a laptop, since he goes out in the field alot and has to write reports. So he carries it back and forth to work/home.

When he first got the laptop i said "please do not bring that thing home, put porn on it, get a virus etc...because i dont want you getting fired."

We were at his parents this past weekend and I used it to go online - totally with his permission. He obviously clears the history every day but he downloaded it to the general document folder and must have forgotten to delete a video, because there it was for me to see!

So technically i was snooping but not really since i can use it whenever i want.

Now i wonder how long he has been doing this. i never would have known because he left his computer at work. (although he has that thing were we can explore his old work desktop from home - i just never even thought to do it)

[jendenovum]

Mis- he tells me that it is not a self-control problem, but that he is just "a guy"

Thats why i was curious to see how the other guys react...

[misombra]

this person has a problem. an addiction. is this your significant other? you might have said already but i've only skimmed through this thread...

[jendenovum]

um yeah, husband....

nice, right?

[misombra]

i'm sorry that happened jend. can i ask a personal question? i'm not trying to be nosey or rude.. just wondering... do the two of you have sex?

[jendenovum]

You're not nosy - i am the one here blabbing personal info.

Yes, we have sex atleast every other day. We just bought a house, so alot of days he works 8 - 5ish and then goes to the house until about 10. so some nights he is too tired, but this porn stuff is not affecting his need for regular sex.

i would be really upset if he weren't interested in me. i mean, i still feel like something is going wrong here, but he claims that he will always want porn too and since he is so interested in ME as well that he doesnt see any problem.

[jendenovum]

the house is a fixer-upper...he is there working normally with his older brother or dad