Recovering from break-up, now doing crazy things - please advise

[clynn]

natashab,

You shouldn't really be concerned about what we think. Have fun with it. Enjoy. Tell us about it after it happens.

I personally don't go for the whole ****-buddy thing....the reason is that I learned very early on that I cannot separate sex from emotion. I may have thought I could, but I can't. So if I'm going to be intimate with someone, I do not want to hide the fact that I have feelings, or that it is possible that feelings might at least develop.

But that's just me.

I do have girlfriends who are into that sort of thing and have far more liberal attitudes towards sex than I do. I sometimes wish I could be more emotionless with sex, because then the sex-less times in between relationships wouldn't be, well...so sexless.

But since you've been in so many long term relationships you haven't even really explored this whole notion yet, ever. So you should. It seems quite apparent that you want to. So go for it.

But be honest with yourself.

[Junsui]

Yeah, if you want to do it then go for it. I just wouldn't continue thinking it's going to make you feel better about yourself and give you more self esteem.

[blackiesharley]

I would love it, in fact my ex-wife did almost the exact same thing once. We both had been working really hard (we worked together) and were too tired at night to 'play' not that we didn't have the desire.

One day she says she's taking Saturday off, asked me to do the same and tells me to 'meet' her at a hotel bar nearby at a certian time. I get there, she looks great, we have a couple of drinks and then the big suprise. She's rented a room with a jacuzzi, lots of candles, sexy lingere.

Sometimes I think it doesn't take much to spice up a relationship, just a little thought.

[Junsui]

Sometimes I think it doesn't take much to spice up a relationship, just a little thought.

That's doing a lot to spice it up to me lol. Renting a room with a jacuzzi? Wow!

[mini696]

I'm suprised that some of you think this would be a suprise in a relationship. I thought it was just something that is done. Or am I different.

[Junsui]

Is what a surprise?

[indigosoul]

Sex for the sake of sex is like driving the interstate...pretty much a straight shot that gets you to your destination. Nothing wrong with that and it gets you there, I guess.

I think of relationships like a long costal or country drive, sometimes slow, sometimes fast. Lots to see, lots of little stops along the way. Each town a little different from the rest. And sometimes you get on the interstate, just to avoid driving each other crazy. But then its back to the winding road. Which requires quite a bit of patience sometimes as you wait for the cows to cross the road... and you try, but sometimes forget to close the gate behind you. And if you're lucky, when the drive gets long or tiring, your partner takes over for you so you can sleep.

Bleh. Some kinda mental hiccup there. Maybe someone else can figure out better what I'm trying to say...