How important is engagement?

[misombra]

i just do not see the point in the stress of such things as this.

[whaywardj]

Keep talkin', Vette. You've almost got me persuaded to go suss it out.

[Rosebud]

that's why i don't think a proposal is in the works. he's just wanting to go do it without the worry of buying a ring or maybe it's not of importance to him - maybe he thinks it's not to me either. but how do you tell a guy "hey, i'm ready. go get me a ring and we'll do it"?

Well as an example, My bf and I just recently talked about the same thing and we have been together for 4 years and living with each other. We sat down and set a date and everything we want for the wedding. We set the date in 2008, so he can have a whole year (up to 2007) to buy a ring and propose the way he wants to and to save money for everything. 2007 We will use the saved money to put down deposits and so forth for the upcoming year.

All you have to do is discuss this with him. even though he wants to set something and it makes you think he doesn't want to do that. He's not going to come right out and say" ok, well I'm going to propose in 2 months". Do you know what I mean? It can't hurt to alk about all this And find out what he really wants with all this stuff.

[RoSe MaRiE]

What racer said... don't rush him. Let him propose cause hes ready, not cause you want him to. If you've only known eachother a lil over a year and for the most part it was LD then i would give him some time to adjust.

I personally wouldn't be able to make a life-long commitment w/someone I've only dated for a such period of time, espeacially if the relationship was ld for the most part.

[Lloyd95]

We set the date in 2008, so he can have a whole year (up to 2007) to buy a ring and propose the way he wants to and to save money for everything.

Remind me to send you my address before you send out the invites.

[shh!]

like the traditional engagement - man pays attention to what his girl would like, buys it, talks to mom and dad about it, gets their blessing, plans a proposal, surprises girl with ring,HAPPY EVER AFTER!

This expectation leads me to believe you might very well be disappointed.

Are you SURE you want to get married at all? There is no such thing as happily ever after, and you will condemn yourself to doing double the normal amount of laundry until to die.

[Tone]

Me too, RoseB!

[Rosebud]

LOL, you guys!!! It's a very long ways away! But I won't forget...

[Junsui]

Yeah, I want to go. We should plan the bachelorette party!

[Rosebud]

HAHAHA, yea I'm terrified of my bachelorette party. I have thrown a couple of my girlfreinds their parties so I know I'm in big trouble when mine comes around..LOL

[ohmy]

It's funny everyone thinks this is a short relationship. We've been together almost a year and a half - and LD means nothing. How can that not count?? I have been married before and I know what it's about. Believe me, I know more now about this marriage than I did about the last one. I'm 30 with a 7 yr old son. I haven't made any rash decisions. No one can put a label on a relationship based on the time you've been together. I have friends that have been dating for years and years and still are just that - dating, and not living together. And I have friends that dated a couple of months, got married, had kids and are still together. Some marriages fail and some don't. It's not based on the time spent together.

[Junsui]

You're right. Though second marriages have a greater chance of failing than the first.

[shh!]

Who are you trying to convince? Us, or yourself? And why?

[Rosebud]

OK, well then talk to him again about all this and go with the flow. From what you said he does want to talk about it, so it can't hurt to talk more. If this is such a big deal to you that he does this the right way express that to him.

[Tone]

Who are you trying to convince? Us, or yourself? And why?

Oh.... you get her, darlin!