WOW! almost impossible to grasp!

[kikiboo]

It's good that the two of you are still talking. I do want to warn you, though you've probably figured out already, that counseling doesn't necessarily mean she wants to work things out. I went to counseling when I thought of separating with my ex. I basically went to use my counselor as a sounding board and see if my reasons really made sense. I even had my ex come to one of my sessions.

Also, remember that you two are still young! She hints that she wants to experience more... maybe you should think about doing that yourself?

Also, be careful if she does agree to get back together with you because she doesn't want to see you so sad and depressed. Pity-love is worse than no love. And a relationship built on pity-love won't work! I have fallen into that trap and learned the hard way.

[bbb]

Good, that always helps the thought process a little. But remember don't attack with those just add that these are also helping the negative things as well.. I think you'll be ok.. just remember to add in lots of positive things as well, you don't want her to get the idea your blaming her.

Well rosebud, A long drawn out ordeal comes to a close I guess
Christy decided to end our long, long, long relationship on wednesday night.
She cited such things as our personalities being (at the same time) to different and to alike? And that she feels like we've evolved into more of a sibling type of relationship than anything else. Due to the age at which we met and all the years spent together.

It feels really bad to have someone give up on something so great after so many years and challenges have already been overcome. It feels like above all else.........she just quit trying!? I guess the way I see it is. If you really, REALLY! want something to work, and commit yourself to it! then there's no problem to large to overcome? Especially in the name of love?

Because by her own admission (unless it's a lie?) I'm the best thing in her world and she couldn't imagine a life w/ anyone else. So why wouldn't someone keep fighting for that? I don't know,......maybe I'm to much of an idealist. Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world, but I never imagined her and I ever calling it quits.

At this point though.......it is what it is I guess. I asked her if she was open to the idea of us coming together again in the future? She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either. She just said that it wouldn't be in the next six weeks or anything like that. So I wonder what to do with that type of info?

Even as she was walking out my door for the last time, I told her that my heart and the door would always be open to her. And that I loved her. She said she loved me also and drove off. We have had no contact now for what seems like years and it's only been three days. Prior to this we had never gone a day or two without at least hearing one anothers voice.

Would you say that it would be best to move on at this point as though her and I would never reconnect again? or to continue on at a more conservative rate? I can't stomach the thought of dating, or being "casually" intimate with another woman. It steel feels like (even just thinking it) that would be cheating on christy.

[whaywardj]

You might do well for YOURSELF to move on as if you'll never reconnect. It's not in your hands anyway.

"What'cha gonna do now? You've got no one to give your love to."

An interesting position. One which can also be very rewarding. If you let it.

[Rosebud]

Honey I really feel for you on this one. I can't even imagine what you could be going through after all that time. But the best is to move on without thinking you might reconnect in the future. If you don't, your always going to be waiting for her and you can't do that to yourself.

True you don't have to date anyone or do anything like that. But you need time to get over all this. Focus on yourself and do things for you that will make you feel good. Hang out with some friends or take a vacation.. also make some goals for yourself to accomplish one by one to gradually get back into being single. I know it's going to be hard but you have to start somewhere and I wish you all the luck in this.

[rcia]

This is a tough one. You've been together for so long and it is always painful to let go. I think the approach you should take is that you respect that this is what she wants but....with all of our choices come consequences. And the fact is; that you will also be taking the steps to move on with your life. It sounds like you have a very good head on your shoulders and even though this is a new experience for you, you have the inner strength to handle it. Just take it a day at a time, look to your future, try not to focus on the past. Your future holds the key to new beginnings. I know you may not believe it now but, as time goes by, if you allow yourself the time, you will get beyond this hurt, you will be a stronger, better person for it and you will without question, have a bright happy future. Focus on what you want out of life!