Darn him anyway!

[Converse]

Are you worried the past will repeat it's self? Well at least you had a good time.

[clynn]

No, Converse. It is just that we're pretty much broken up so I'm wondering if still seeing him is a good idea. Perhaps it hurts too much. But then maybe there is hope to be going out again after some time apart.

Why does he want to see me, that sort of thing.

[alice]

I had a brilliant time. Part of me wonders if I shouldn't be doing this because I have feelings for him. On the other hand...???? it does feel like a different angle on the whole relationship front.

And, at least for now, he isn't dating anybody.

and what will you feel like when he starts dating somebody?

in reply to your previous question: yes, you are being foolish.
but people in love can't help being foolish, so never mind. just take care you don't get hurt too bad.

or do you really see a chance in the "different angle on the relationship front"? can you imagine yourself being happy with him this time round? what has changed?

sorry, i didn't mean to spoil your mood, you sounded really happy. maybe i'm being too pessimistic because i had a desastrous second try at a relationship that was already fvcked up the first time round. and that even though i had all of the questions i just asked you and many more in mind. but i just thought "to hell with all that, this time it's gonna work because i know what to expect and how to react". bullshit. what it taught me: there really are people who are just not meant for each other, no matter how hard or how many times they try.

[vashti]

Maybe he is ambivalent about letting you go. I mean, didn't he say he just wanted to slow things down? Maybe he meant it.

Just a guess...

[misombra]

what happened?

[Tone]

I have to agree with alice.

[clynn]

Misombra, ... I'm not really sure what to say to respond to "what happened."?
Cuz I don't know if you mean the most recent what happened? OR? Anyhow...just this week I went out with him to a movie. So I'm askign am I foolish to be seeing him?

I will also add, -- I'm not certain if it is relevant -- that I currently am in a state of flux. I've just written a very big exam. If I pass, ... my life / job / career direction will change significantly, if I want it to. I'm spending a lot of time contemplating this impending change.

Thanks everyone. It is always good to hear opinions, all sorts of them!

Maybe he is ambivalent about letting you go. I mean, didn't he say he just wanted to slow things down? Maybe he meant it.
Just a guess...

Well, I'm sure he is ambivalent. Yuck to ambivalence!

Well, I will just leave it. I might be smarter to not talk to him or anything, but somehow that doesn't feel quite right either. So I'll come around to all of it in time I suppose.

It isn't as though something in particular bad happened or that I have a reason to be really mad or angry, no cheating or really bad fighting or anything like that.

[Gigabitch]

Sometimes you have people in your life who are so important it doesn't matter what role they currently play. They never leave your heart. You stay friends for much longer than you were a couple. You go to their funeral in 50 years. You know they care about you in the bottom of your soul.

Is he that kind of person to you, or is it just hard to let go?

[misombra]

i don't know the whole story, i missed it! i'm totally in the dark! was there another thread where you explained the situation? could somebody direct me there please...

[alice]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/t11636-lets-see-what-it-is-like-without-sex-seems-same-as-break-up.html[/url]

[clynn]

I'm not used to being friends with people I've gone out with. It hasn't really been a pattern for me. Only just with a couple of guys that I had very short lived relationships with and was friends with before. The one serious relationship I've had - we never stayed friends. I guess it wasn't important to either of us to remain friends. I don't think back on him with fondness.

Another guy I dated, but only just a few times....we've stayed VERY good friends. And we knew from teh moment we met that we would be good friends no matter what happened. (It would never have worked because of geography...).

So I don't know. I really don't know.

[alice]

i've staid friends with all of my ex boyfriends – except the last one. that's why i'm so devastated about it – i'm not used to starting to dislike or even hate someone i used to love. i don't really know how to deal with that kind of feelings.

[clynn]

Interesting. I'm much better with it that way! Though I'm sure it isn't nearly as healthy.

Actually, the guy I was with for a long time, and was serious with (lets call him "A") - I can't say I disliked him right away or anything. We broke up and remained friends for a while adn then as time passed adn I got over him I began to feel more resentment / anger towards him.

But, oh, yes, my maturity (??) and sense I've gained now I think means that I must stay friends with this guy. It just doesn't seem right to be anything else, at least not yet. I guess I am of the belief that you move on when it is time to move on (and hopefully I won't be hanging on....).

At least with "A" I managed to date again quickly after one short rebound relationship quickly cured of my broken heart. Interestingly, I moved on from him easily. I think by the time the relationship was done, I was done. And maybe because I was young.

This time I fear that a rebound relationship won't be the only cure I need to get over him. (but I did give my # to some guy I danced with last night!!!)

I wish that there was some anger mixed in with the pain, but there really isn't. Angry that he can't love me the way I want him to?

Hmm...can't really be angry about that.

I'm sorry. I'm moping!!!!