GF dropped bombshell last night

[BrianK]

I dunno if I've blown my head gasket or not with this but i just ordered some online flowers to send to her work and wrote a poem for the card, not sure if this was one of my best ideas the poem goes like this



You still mean more than anything else to me in life,
So I send these flowers in celebration of the good times we once had,
It wasn’t always so bad,
We must have lost track somewhere for it to turn this way,
And wish to say,
If we had another chance,
I’d make sure there would be more romance,
We could take it at whatever pace,
And give ourselves some space.

its exactly how i feel and had urge to send flowers

[blackiesharley]

I dunno if I've blown my head gasket or not with this but i just ordered some online flowers to send to her work and wrote a poem for the card, not sure if this was one of my best ideas the poem goes like this



You still mean more than anything else to me in life,
So I send these flowers in celebration of the good times we once had,
It wasn’t always so bad,
We must have lost track somewhere for it to turn this way,
And wish to say,
If we had another chance,
I’d make sure there would be more romance,
We could take it at whatever pace,
And give ourselves some space.

its exactly how i feel and had urge to send flowers

I dunno Brian, I really don't.

50% of me says yes, you've blown a head gasket and are smothering her and 50% of me wants to borrow that exact poem and send it to my lady immediately.

50% of me says the way they've treated us THEY should be sending US the flowers and poems, not us sending them.
50% of me says we should be the men and take control (not of them pre se but of the situation)

In any event, leave it at that as you've done all you can do, as have I. Don't make any more contact after this. Sometimes less is more and maybe someday, tommorrow or next year, they'll realize what they've lost. I'm just avoiding mine this weekend, (not that she's called, I can take a hint) going out and having a good time (yeah right, very depressed at the moment)

The only thing that can possibily salvage my relationship I think is giving her space. Meanwhile, it's a beautiful day, we should be at the beach plaing with the kids. I wonder if she's thinking about that too??? Why did I believe everything she told me??? Why??? There were moments within the last month that we would get off the phone or kiss goodbye in person and I'd wonder what I'm gonna wear to the wedding. Now we're hardly speaking. And WHY??? Was it all lies???

What a ****ing fool I've been.

[BrianK]

I dunno Brian, I really don't.

50% of me says yes, you've blown a head gasket and are smothering her and 50% of me wants to borrow that exact poem and send it to my lady immediately.

50% of me says the way they've treated us THEY should be sending US the flowers and poems, not us sending them.
50% of me says we should be the men and take control (not of them pre se but of the situation)

In any event, leave it at that as you've done all you can do, as have I. Don't make any more contact after this. Sometimes less is more and maybe someday, tommorrow or next year, they'll realize what they've lost. I'm just avoiding mine this weekend, (not that she's called, I can take a hint) going out and having a good time (yeah right, very depressed at the moment)

The only thing that can possibily salvage my relationship I think is giving her space. Meanwhile, it's a beautiful day, we should be at the beach plaing with the kids. I wonder if she's thinking about that too??? Why did I believe everything she told me??? Why??? There were moments within the last month that we would get off the phone or kiss goodbye in person and I'd wonder what I'm gonna wear to the wedding. Now we're hardly speaking. And WHY??? Was it all lies???

What a ****ing fool I've been.

Yeah man I understand, as i've been sitting here depressed and really down having simliar thoughts problem is she still stays in flat over night not all the time like tonight, shes having all the space she wants, i wasa talking to her work colleage and shes been messed up at work, shes also telling me everything that she is doing in the day when she goes. man i'm screwed up in my head right now over it. and she keeps saying if we got back it'll only go back to how it was, which i always disagree as we never broke up and got back together before in 6 yrs so i/we have learnt something that we can do to stop this from happening

[Gigabitch]

Well, Brian, if you do get her back, things will have to change. So what are you thinking about changing?

[BrianK]

Well, Brian, if you do get her back, things will have to change. So what are you thinking about changing?

i think the majority of it was based on attention not taking time out with her got caught up in other things. i think shes scared that i will only be like that then revert back after a while but i want to make it perm like that as i wouldn't want to loose her. if and thats a big if she decides to try again.

[Gigabitch]

What about the big stuff- love, marriage, baby carriage? The 5-year mark is also the "shit-or-get-off-the-pot mark for a lot of women.

[BrianK]

we was planning the marriage (early stages) and for a while i didn't want a child but begining of this yr i started wanting a child and she knows that, also she said this morning shes worried that she might actually be pregnant

was just on phone to one of her close friends as shes a friend of mine and she said after i maybe in the future we might get back together her response was i would'nt get your hopes up high just yet.

so i think i might have my answer there unfortunetly, i wish i can prove that things would be better

[BrianK]

well its another day!!! still in a mess i wish i could think about something else !!! im truely doing my own head in...

[blackiesharley]

well its another day!!! still in a mess i wish i could think about something else !!! im truely doing my own head in...

I feel your pain buddy and I know where you are at.

I just hate that ****ing tree outside the bedroom window that we used to wake up, snuggle and look at in the morning. Now I wake up, look at it and it's like the universe is telling/reminding me first thing in the morning that my relationship is in the toilet.

I forced myself to go out to a club again last night. Morbid. Torture. Seems that everyone was with someone but me. Couples laughing, kissing, dirty dancing, holding hands. I'm making an effort to be friendly and social but damn, it's hard when you'd rather be with your lady.

Maybe it's all for a reason, although I like to think that we make our own destiny. Xmas Girl is coming over Tuesday, that makes me smile.

[BrianK]

worse still she comes home tonight we get on like a house on fire, her new man not txt'd her so she unhappy with him, then we end up going to cinema. she gets a txt from family she tells them that she with me, next think i know the parents are sying you must not be there, and offer to give her a lift back. I say i don't wanna see film. and now shes confused, bloody parents blocking any chance now this just proved it.

I ended up apying for tickets and not seeing film

But i said if he treats you like this after a week whats it gonna be like in a yr!!! shes confused she says and now shes saying she hates blokes and is now in the bedroom tidying up the room not wanting me in there

the flowers arrive tomorrow i wonder how thats recieved, i'm trying my best to fight for her as i can

in front of me she left msg on his fone twice and his not replied and its getting late awesome, seems the bloke is not very nice to her


this proves you can compete with a quick fling. i think its begining to turn my way fro once, just her family-- i hope i can fix this soon as well differcult as they never liked me much but they let daughter get lift home from me when they found out. so maybe something to work on


definatley a turn around here she even laughed at my jokes, I offered her a slow paced return to relationship, she said dunno but i can tell..................fingers crossed hopefully not heading for a big fall

[BrianK]

hmmm don't think any of it worked unfortunetly oh well live goes on

[blackiesharley]

hmmm don't think any of it worked unfortunetly oh well live goes on

Damn Brian, we're living parallel lives, almost to the day.

I've been pretty much blown off by both New Orleans Gal and yes, even Xmas Girl today. Well, not 'blown off' by Xmas Girl as much as realizing that the problems with communication that drove us apart in the first place are still there and even much worse six months later. It ain't gonna fly.

Let New Orleans have her drama, alcohol, pot and cocaine, let Xmas Girl be all inside herself, I'll find somebody new that will appreciate me. As will you, sure as the sun comes up. It's just a matter of time.

Their loss.

PS: And a new personal policy kinda New Orleans Gal specific. NO MORE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS. They're impossible. I'm sure there's a girl within a 30 mile radius that would love to be with me. Just got to find her.

[BrianK]

yeah its bad, the poem etc must have arrived today, shes now at her parents i guess that blew heri mind otherwise she'll be here and i'll be sleeping on sofa and her in the bed

Just the finances so badly need to be sorted tho with mortgage etc it worries me

[blackiesharley]

Just the finances so badly need to be sorted tho with mortgage etc it worries me

Would it not be worth it to hire a lawyer to handle it for you so there's no contact with her and you can move on?

This is all too much bullshit. I'm wipeing the slate clean and starting fresh. I'll meet somebody new. I'm actually pretty good at that. Sorta.

[keeptrying]

My wife of 2.5 yrs did the similar thing. Just called it quits about a month ago and moved out to her friend’s house. She hitched up with an ex about 2 weeks before she called it quits. She swears up and down they are just friends and have not being intimate at all. Part of me wants to believe her but the situation just seems weird. Why and the world would you make an effort to contact an ex when you are still married. They only date for like a month as well prior. In reality, she really does not know this guy at all. The unfortunate situation is I feel people make rash decisions based on the emotional situation not realizing how much damage can be occurred. For my situation, her leaving me and hitching up with an ex really tore a strip out of me. How can someone that loved you so much do such a thing? Probably the result of us not discussing our current situation without getting emotional hasty

From day one, she always said I was the one---now she tells me she was unhappy the whole time which I find hard to believe. Yes we did have complications more so in the last 6 months however there was a lack of communication on both parts. If I could rewind the clock half a year I would of done thing differently, unfortunately we sometimes only realize this when too much damage has being done.
My word of advice you should discuss what the real problems where so you can learn from the mistakes and not do it again. In addition, you should discuss what issues you disliked about her. Your next relationship will be that much better and who knows it could be a new relationship with your EX.

Once your emotional roller coaster settles it is quite possible that you may come to the realization that this was all for the better as you don't see yourself ever being with her again.

Hope this helps a bit I know what you are going through.

On another note my wife and I still communicate. Yesterday we went out for breakfast and we talked a little about our relationship. She said she is not really sure what she wants out of life and she needs time to think about stuff and our future. Some what of a progression from a month ago in which she said I don't want to be married to you. I’m just going to give her space now and let her make her mind up when the emotional highs are under control. Regardless of the outcome I will be ok as I know things happen for a reason and I’ve further bettered my self with solitude, counseling and self building knowledge. If you can’t live with yourself one cannot live with others.