What is it that women really want, anyway?

[Gribble]

Women want a guy who is chivalrous. The sort who will open doors for them, offer up his coat on windy days, and never allow them to lift a thing heavier than their own purses. Being nice isn't synonymous with lacking a libido, however. Women want a guy who will watch the sway of their hips as they walk and steal glances at their legs when he thinks they aren't looking. They want a guy who is polite and fair, but who steps up and makes demands when called for, and sometimes when not. They want a guy who is gentle in bed one night and firm the next. Lastly, women want a guy who can make them laugh, cry, and lust, all in the course of a single evening.

[jurupa]

Women want a guy who is chivalrous. The sort who will open doors for them, offer up his coat on windy days, and never allow them to lift a thing heavier than their own purses. Being nice isn't synonymous with lacking a libido, however. Women want a guy who will watch the sway of their hips as they walk and steal glances at their legs when he thinks they aren't looking. They want a guy who is polite and fair, but who steps up and makes demands when called for, and sometimes when not. They want a guy who is gentle in bed one night and firm the next. Lastly, women want a guy who can make them laugh, cry, and lust, all in the course of a single evening.

Sounds like a Disney movie. A lot of girls say this, but yet they are with a jerk or bad boy or some rich dude and not a guy that is really like this. I am just stating reality. Yes there are girls with guys that are like this, but most of the time they are not. So what is the point of saying it when infact the girl wants a jerk or the bad boy or the rich dude, and not the average joe that will open doors and what have you.

[Gribble]

That simply isn't true, Jarupa. Perhaps with high school girls, but any sensible, self-respecting woman quickly learns to avoid the jackasses who treat them like shit. The problem is a lot of "nice" guys aren't really nice. They're only nice around women they want to bone. They listen to a woman's problems not out of the desire to offer support, but because they feel it entitles them to sex. On the other hand you've got the nice guy who feels that sex is bad and he must take great pains to conceal his sexuality.

If anything, the reason girls aren't with guys like that is because they are hard to find, and the few that are out there wind up married.

The average Joe doesn't open doors for women. Hell, the average Joe probably doesn't even bother opening doors for the chick he's taking out for the sole purpose of screwing her. If you don't believe me try it yourself. For the next month open doors for women, all women, mind you, not just the hotties. I think you'll be surprised at the reactions. I've had women stop, look me dead in the eye, and fix me with beaming smiles that make my day. I'm a sucker for a female smile... a fact which the ladies in my life just looove to exploit.

I really do believe the secret to charming a woman is maintaining a healthy balance. Give it a shot. Try being chivalrous and flirtatious at the same time. Throw in a dash of humor and you've got a winning combination.

[jurupa]

That simply isn't true, Jarupa. Perhaps with high school girls,

I agree with you on the high school part, but I am 22 and I see other girls my age with guys that are with the same type of guys all the time. Some are not that bad but they still are one tho.

but any sensible, self-respecting woman quickly learns to avoid the jackasses who treat them like shit. The problem is a lot of "nice" guys aren't really nice. They're only nice around women they want to bone. They listen to a woman's problems not out of the desire to offer support, but because they feel it entitles them to sex.

Uh I think the self respecting part comes when girls get closer to their 30's as mention before I see girls my age around these type of guys. Not all of them are with them but a lot of them are. And as far as the entitlement thing to sex goes, thats funny. These guys play the nice card because they know they can't just walk in and get sex. They have to let the girl unload first that way she is open and the guy then can walk in and get sex. There is no "well you talked about your emotional problems for two hours, time for sex as I earned it", if that was the case getting sex would so much easier.

On the other hand you've got the nice guy who feels that sex is bad and he must take great pains to conceal his sexuality.

Where the heck did you get this from? I am the average nice guy that does not feel sex is bad at all.

If anything, the reason girls aren't with guys like that is because they are hard to find, and the few that are out there wind up married.

Hey I am single and not married.

The average Joe doesn't open doors for women. Hell, the average Joe probably doesn't even bother opening doors for the chick he's taking out for the sole purpose of screwing her. If you don't believe me try it yourself. For the next month open doors for women, all women, mind you, not just the hotties. I think you'll be surprised at the reactions. I've had women stop, look me dead in the eye, and fix me with beaming smiles that make my day. I'm a sucker for a female smile... a fact which the ladies in my life just looove to exploit.

Uh I open doors for girls if they are close to the door I am going to go thru on impulse, and it has yet to get me any sex and I know it won't. I do it because I was brought up like that. But I don't always get a thank you from them, unless it is a girl 30 years old or older, then I am pretty much going to get one.

I really do believe the secret to charming a woman is maintaining a healthy balance. Give it a shot. Try being chivalrous and flirtatious at the same time. Throw in a dash of humor and you've got a winning combination.

Uh I wish it was that easy. I just be my self and not change who I am to get girls because it is stupid to and if a girl does not like what she sees I can move on to the next girl.

[The Great OV!!!]

Stop giving a ****. Seriously, those "bad boys" wouldn't last five minutes in the ring with me. If you want the sluts that go after that "tough" guys then you don't need muscles, just a big mouth and a lack of intelligence.

[Tiay]

Women want a guy who is chivalrous. The sort who will open doors for them, offer up his coat on windy days, and never allow them to lift a thing heavier than their own purses. Being nice isn't synonymous with lacking a libido, however. Women want a guy who will watch the sway of their hips as they walk and steal glances at their legs when he thinks they aren't looking. They want a guy who is polite and fair, but who steps up and makes demands when called for, and sometimes when not. They want a guy who is gentle in bed one night and firm the next. Lastly, women want a guy who can make them laugh, cry, and lust, all in the course of a single evening.

You've just more or less described my BF. You're right, guys like this are hard to come by. And it's not that all other guys are jerks. Many just don't know how much it'll benefit them if they carried their gf's bag and opened the door for them on occasion.

[Gigabitch]

They want a guy who is gentle in bed one night and firm the next. Lastly, women want a guy who can make them laugh, cry, and lust, all in the course of a single evening.

You forgot a couple of things. First, we want a man who will stare unashamedly at our friend's knockers while challenging her to touch her elbows behind her back. Then we want him to slap her ass right in front of us.

We love that.

[vashti]

I don't know about the rest of you women, but I could live without Gribbles suggestion to make us cry. The rest of his post doesn't look too bad, though. I think he is on the right track.

[CAM]

A trick question here? Don't worry about it. First of all, if you think that you have chosen her and won her heart, you are wrong. Truth: she has chosen you! Its like being a box Kleenex on the shelf and someone picking you up at the grocery store. Does the box of Kleenex then say to itself (if it could), "Wow, I finally got the customer that I chose!" ? Of course not!

Men are somehow under the impression that the Act into Nature (read literature) and if they can rationalize things, then they can control their destiny, blah, blah, blah.

Maybe this is true with other aspects of life, but not when it comes to women. This is neither a criticism or praise--just objectivity.

RULE #1 She chose you.

So, figuring out what she wants. Once a woman has chosen you, then you have to figure out what qualities in you she found appealing and maintain those traits (real or imagined) until she has committed. Once fully committed, she will unlikely dump your sorry ass over little stuff.

The bad boys mentioned earlier in the thread. Women chose them because they are mysteries. Women love things that they can't understand or seemingly choose to have with ease. The bad boy is the modern version of the caveman...Og strong, Og wild, Og interesting. See, the bad boy plays the role and gets her to commit...then, she just rolls her eyes for the rest of her life at his antics and voilla, he has her and he hasn't changed a bit.

See, most men want to figure out how they can accommodate by changing themselves. Can't do it. Won't happen. That's why I said elsewhere, just don't try to be someone your not. If you are into doing things that she'll like, that is as much as you can do.

And, get used to the idea that women chose men. And, if you want to be with the optimum woman, the best thing to do is be out there where they can see you (like the Kleenex box mentioned earlier...middle shelf, aisle 3).

[CAM]

Gribbles has a point, but I'll say this much...I have been chivalrous my whole life and a successful professional guy in excellent physical condition (no scars or mutilations)....

...and I haven't gotten laid in five years.

And all those nice women always say, "I am so surprised that you aren't married. You are quite a catch!"

Don't look for the formula with women. She'll choose you if she wants and that's about it. Be out there, be seen, be yourself. That's it.

[Junket]

You forgot a couple of things. First, we want a man who will stare unashamedly at our friend's knockers while challenging her to touch her elbows behind her back. Then we want him to slap her ass right in front of us.

We love that.

I still get a kick out of reading that.

It's definitely given me a few ideas...

[Gribble]

And as far as the entitlement thing to sex goes, thats funny. These guys play the nice card because they know they can't just walk in and get sex. They have to let the girl unload first that way she is open and the guy then can walk in and get sex. There is no "well you talked about your emotional problems for two hours, time for sex as I earned it", if that was the case getting sex would so much easier.

Didn't you just reiterate what I said? A "nice" guy listens to a girl's problems not because he is concerned, but because he hopes it will lead to sex. You should be listening to her problems because you care. You should be taking a her out because you enjoy her company. You should buy her a nice gift because you want to see her face light up as she opens it. If you can bring yourself to care about the woman and not the body sex will come naturally... or not. At the very least you'll have made a friend.

You forgot a couple of things. First, we want a man who will stare unashamedly at our friend's knockers while challenging her to touch her elbows behind her back. Then we want him to slap her ass right in front of us.

We love that.

Hey, she wasn't there that night! She was home in bed as she had to get up at the crack of dawn and work. Hmm... I somehow doubt that helps my case.

I don't know about the rest of you women, but I could live without Gribbles suggestion to make us cry. The rest of his post doesn't look too bad, though. I think he is on the right track.

I was going more for the mushy romanticy tears, not the "I slept with your sister--twice" tears. Although I do agree with you. Tears suck.

[The Great OV!!!]

You've just more or less described my BF. You're right, guys like this are hard to come by. And it's not that all other guys are jerks. Many just don't know how much it'll benefit them if they carried their gf's bag and opened the door for them on occasion.

How so? They are already banging you so what is left?

[jurupa]

Stop giving a ****. Seriously, those "bad boys" wouldn't last five minutes in the ring with me. If you want the sluts that go after that "tough" guys then you don't need muscles, just a big mouth and a lack of intelligence.

Not all of the girls that go after the "tough" guys are sluts. Girls seem to have the mind set that they can change a guy into what they think how the guy should be.

Didn't you just reiterate what I said? A "nice" guy listens to a girl's problems not because he is concerned, but because he hopes it will lead to sex. You should be listening to her problems because you care. You should be taking a her out because you enjoy her company. You should buy her a nice gift because you want to see her face light up as she opens it. If you can bring yourself to care about the woman and not the body sex will come naturally... or not. At the very least you'll have made a friend.

You did read what you posted, because I was referring to this:

"The problem is a lot of "nice" guys aren't really nice. They're only nice around women they want to bone. They listen to a woman's problems not out of the desire to offer support, but because they feel it entitles them to sex."

You said that the non-nice guys act nice to get sex by listening to their girl friend problems. And now you say the nice guys do this to get sex. Which one is it?

A trick question here? Don't worry about it. First of all, if you think that you have chosen her and won her heart, you are wrong. Truth: she has chosen you! Its like being a box Kleenex on the shelf and someone picking you up at the grocery store. Does the box of Kleenex then say to itself (if it could), "Wow, I finally got the customer that I chose!" ? Of course not!

This is true, as it is the women that has the baby not guys. Plus females have been taught to try and get guys that are high on the status pole.

Men are somehow under the impression that the Act into Nature (read literature) and if they can rationalize things, then they can control their destiny, blah, blah, blah.

Actually to some extent men are in control because us men are not attracted to every single girl out there and prefer a certain type of girl to mate with. Plus society just paints only one half of the picture that only enforces the male part and not the female part.

The bad boys mentioned earlier in the thread. Women chose them because they are mysteries. Women love things that they can't understand or seemingly choose to have with ease. The bad boy is the modern version of the caveman...Og strong, Og wild, Og interesting. See, the bad boy plays the role and gets her to commit...then, she just rolls her eyes for the rest of her life at his antics and voilla, he has her and he hasn't changed a bit.

I agree with you for the most part. Because there are girls that will get tired of this and leave Og the bad boy for a different model of Og, it being a nicer version of him or mean or what.

See, most men want to figure out how they can accommodate by changing themselves. Can't do it. Won't happen. That's why I said elsewhere, just don't try to be someone your not. If you are into doing things that she'll like, that is as much as you can do.

I totally agree with you. If the girl does not like who I am then I am going to the next girl.

And, get used to the idea that women chose men. And, if you want to be with the optimum woman, the best thing to do is be out there where they can see you (like the Kleenex box mentioned earlier...middle shelf, aisle 3).

In a way girls do chase men, because how else they are going to get attention from guys to mate with, if they never attempt to get the guys attention?

[Gribble]

By placing quotes around the word nice I'm implying just the opposite.