should money matter in a relationship?

[vashti]

Most college kids don't make enough to invest. The smart part is that BFTrick isn't going into credit card debt as are lots of (irresponsible) students.

[jurupa]

Most college kids don't make enough to invest. The smart part is that BFTrick isn't going into credit card debt as are lots of (irresponsible) students.

Thats true. But on the investing thing there are CD's where you only need $1,000 to open one. I know it may be a lot for some college students, but if they manage their money they be able to put aside that amount and put it in a CD and leave it there. There other things college students can do that will help them with money, like shopping around for the best price on things, and not going to places like Starbucks every day.

[misombra]

it matters to me. better bring home that bacon.

[clynn]

I'm still ashamed for blowin' 500+ bucks on an Xbox 360.

Yah...you coulda got it cheaper than that, dude.

[The Great OV!!!]

Anyway, fellow loveforum people, don't you think that money only matters after the marriage part? I mean, even as a boyfriend and girlfriend..the money is his and hers...and not both...right?

[Tiay]

I don't understand why people say that it "shouldn't" matter. Everything about how you handle your assets, how you behave, etc, in a relationship matters. I agree that it shouldn't matter in the blond-binbo-with-rich-fat-old-man type way. But what we're mostly talking about here, I believe, is just regular people- not super loaded and not homeless - and how they handle money in their relationships, and how their behaviour with money can tell you a lot about a person.

Really sharing a bank account and such, yes, that's for married people. But before that, a lot of spending does go on between bf & gf's. As for spending money on each other, it should always be relatively equal. I don't know my bf's bank details at all, but I'm a student with zero income, he's got a good job- so it's fairly logical to assume he's richer than me. I still try to pay roughly half the costs. I probably haven't quite.. but getting it totally exact is not the point. I doubtlessly paid more on the last trip, but that was just one trip. It's all roughly equal in the end.

When the richer person starts thinking "well, I have plenty of money, I'll spend it on her/him since she/he isn't as rich", then one day the other person might wake up and realise that they're in this relationship just for the convenience of having everything paid.

And this isn't just money. the same thing goes for all other things in relationships where one person becomes too dependent on another.

[Junket]

I find that I'll need to give my present lifestyle an overhaul if I want to save money as much as I'd like to.

That means spending less on videogames/PC components, the items which are the most costly and least beneficial to my life. Which is difficult considering that is all my friends do, so I'd have to try to find an alternative hobby, maybe exercise? I don't know.

[vashti]

Anyway, fellow loveforum people, don't you think that money only matters after the marriage part? I mean, even as a boyfriend and girlfriend..the money is his and hers...and not both...right?

Yes, of course, but assuming one is looking for a long-term mate (and not everyone is, granted) watching the way people handle money when you are dating gives you important clues as to their character. I mean, would you really want to saddle yourself long-term with someone who can't deal with money responsibly?

[The Great OV!!!]

Yes, of course, but assuming one is looking for a long-term mate (and not everyone is, granted) watching the way people handle money when you are dating gives you important clues as to their character. I mean, would you really want to saddle yourself long-term with someone who can't deal with money responsibly?

I see, so then my question is. Would your prefer a person that makes 80k a year but is not the greatest money saver and can over spend...yet he makes so much that it doesn't matter...or someone who makes 30-40k a year but can save well?

That means spending less on videogames/PC components, the items which are the most costly and least beneficial to my life.

Try this on for size. In the past month I have spent.

PS3 = 500$
360+wifi adapter+2 games+1600pts = 620$
32" HDTV = 700$
THX sounds system = 200$
TOTAL = $2020
that doesn't even include tax!, man I payed way to much for entertainment recently and this shit better freaking last me a long time, not to mention my PC will need modding soon arg. I don't think it is not beneficial since entertainment make me happy though, but it definitly isn't that best habit or has the best long term consequences.

[Junket]

Games are instant gratification.

That gratifications often dissipates as soon as you turn the system off.

And provides you with little to nothing to show for you time spent playing them besides a random number on a random ranking list that the world as a whole doesn't know about nor cares to.

[vashti]

I see, so then my question is. Would your prefer a person that makes 80k a year but is not the greatest money saver and can over spend...yet he makes so much that it doesn't matter...or someone who makes 30-40k a year but can save well?

I live in Los Angeles, and $80k isn't all that much where I live (not enough to support a family without a second income unless one is extremely frugal and living in a rough neighborhood), but generally speaking, I would prefer a man who is responsible with money. Actually, it has always been one of my requirements. I can't live with someone who can't live within their means.

Try this on for size. In the past month I have spent.

PS3 = 500$
360+wifi adapter+2 games+1600pts = 620$
32" HDTV = 700$
THX sounds system = 200$
TOTAL = $2020

Well, I would choke the life out my husband if he threw away that much money on video games, but I suppose I would expect it out of a college kid with no responsibilities and too much expendable income.

[jurupa]

I live in Los Angeles, and $80k isn't all that much where I live (not enough to support a family without a second income unless one is extremely frugal and living in a rough neighborhood), but generally speaking, I would prefer a man who is responsible with money. Actually, it has always been one of my requirements. I can't live with someone who can't live within their means.

I semi agree with you on the 80k thing, but I think if one parent in the house hold is making 50k and the other 30k to 40k they can raise one kid in a small decent house. As long as they manage their money, have skills that can put to use around the house (ie basic electrical, plumbing etc), and don't spend there money on things not needed they can make it. But I do agree 1,000% on living within your means. I can't tell you how many people I see in my age group trying to live the big life and not having the money to do it. I just laugh at them. Heck I use to work at a shopping center that had a nigh club and there where a bunch of receipts on the ground in the back and about 3 out 1 receipts said that the credit card was denied.

I see, so then my question is. Would your prefer a person that makes 80k a year but is not the greatest money saver and can over spend...yet he makes so much that it doesn't matter...or someone who makes 30-40k a year but can save well?

I would take the girl that can save her money over the one that spends it left and right. Because to me the one that saves their money and does not spends it left and right shows that they are more responsible and mature.

Try this on for size. In the past month I have spent.

PS3 = 500$
360+wifi adapter+2 games+1600pts = 620$
32" HDTV = 700$
THX sounds system = 200$
TOTAL = $2020
that doesn't even include tax!, man I payed way to much for entertainment recently and this shit better freaking last me a long time, not to mention my PC will need modding soon arg. I don't think it is not beneficial since entertainment make me happy though, but it definitly isn't that best habit or has the best long term consequences.

Sounds like you have some money to play with. This month alone I have spent roughly $700. This includes gas for my car, the lowering springs for my car, paying someone to install the springs, as well as two video games and one book. I am hoping to get a job soon as there are some things I want to get for my car, but its not cheap, and I would like to get the stuff for my car asap, but I know I can't do that due to not having a job.

[misombra]

a fool and his money are soon parted.

[The Great OV!!!]

I live in Los Angeles, and $80k isn't all that much where I live (not enough to support a family without a second income unless one is extremely frugal and living in a rough neighborhood), but generally speaking, I would prefer a man who is responsible with money. Actually, it has always been one of my requirements. I can't live with someone who can't live within their means.

That is crazy, I can live on 35k a year in Illinois. That includes a house if I have some saved for a down payment.

[vashti]

I think it all kind of works out OV. The wages are a lot higher here, but so is the cost of living. We make out big if we move out of state when we retire, though. The only problem is that I wouldn't really want to live anywhere else.