The all to familiar "friend" problem

[Pretender]

It kinda sounds like this girl likes drama and is creating it for herself and you. I'd definetly confront her and ask what she had to gain by telling him and for lieing about it. Deal with your problems dont turn your back on them and wait for them to solve themself.

[dreamygirl]

Ok the cheating thing, I've been there, I kissed my best friend too because I had doubts, in the end I chose to stay with my boyfriend but I just want to clear this up, that she kissed you doesn't mean she'll go around just kissing any guy she meets, it just means she really cares about you and probably has doubts about her relationship but isn't ready to make a decision yet. Okay cheating is always wrong but some people here have a really shortminded opinion, I hope they never get in the situation where there's 'doubts' of any kind, it's not always that black and white.
Now, I don't know why she'd tell her boyfriend that you like her though, that she lied about the kiss means she's not planning on ending the relationship, do NOT tell her boyfriend or anyone else yourself, talk to her and give her the chance to come clean. Ask her why she told him, just find out where you stand with her

[sfalexi]

that she kissed you doesn't mean she'll go around just kissing any guy she meets, it just means she really cares about you and probably has doubts about her relationship but isn't ready to make a decision yet.

So what happens when they get into a fight and she has doubts about that relationship? Time to go around kissing other guys that she's interested in? If it were me, and my girlfriend kissed some other guy of her own accord, I'd make the choice real ****in' easy for her. "PEACE! And don't come back to me. Ever. For anything."

Alexi

[sonic486]

Wait, wait,
I have something to say.
Well, fix bayonets problem is like mine
(see major problem, help if you dare!)
You see,
If you love her that much,
Then just go for her.
If you hold the idea back,
you will be thinking about it again and again.
You know, I also have that problem
expect my best friend also goes for my crush.
So who cares what other people think,
It's your choice!

[fixbayonets]

Ive made my decision. Im going to talk to her about this and try and get it straightend out once and for all. Im going to explain to her that I need to tell me exactly how she feels about me, and that I need her to be completly honest with me, and not to worry about hurting me. I think its the only way I'll be able to move on.

Im also going to ask her why she told her b/f what she did, and ask her to tell me straight out what her intentions were by kissing me.
I wrote out what I was going to say last night after about 3 hours and I plan on talking to her very soon.
I have always been honest with her, now Im asking that she does the same for me. That's fair, isint it?

[fixbayonets]

Well some of you were right. It turns out she was playing me the entire time. I dont feel like putting it all down right now, I'll get back to you.

[XFactorNo9]

wow I read this whole topic... it's romantic, mixed with a pinch of hate and revenge, with some undieing love tossed in the mix.

my suggestion, although a radical approch, let the guy beat the shit outta you, and get a sympathy shower from your beloved one. she thinks her b/f is the ass he really is. BOOM! she breaks up you take the prize, just for some pain. the pain is temporary but you love is not.

however, this might not work. if it doesn't you would have handed your ass, pride, and dignity to your adversary for close to nothing. so the question is, would you give up all of that for this godess of yours?

[fixbayonets]

Well I told you Id get back to you so heres what happend.

I called her to set up a time when I could see her and talk to her. We did, and everything was fine. Then she called back an hour later and persisted until I finally told her what I wanted to talk to her about. I told her that I needed to know why she kissed me, and why she told her b/f that I kissed her. She said that she kissed me and said the things she did because yes she did share some of the same feelings, but she told her b/f that I initiated it because she didnt want to put her relationship w/ him in jeopardy. I told her that although I understood why she did it, that I thought that she should tell him the truth, and that if I was ever confronted by him about it, that I would not lie about what really happend. She eventually said fine and that she would tell him the truth.
I thought things were fine until about an hour later on when I find out that she called her b/f crying and re-told the story of what happened, only she changed her story AGAIN. THIS TIME, instead of me kissing her on the cheek, she said that she came in to hug me and I Kissed her on the mouth(this is so High School, I know). She also told him that Ive been harassing her and that he can kick my ass if he wants to. He said he doesnt want to fight me but will if I make her cry again.

Now Im not a genius by any means, but Id have to say that girl pulled a complete 180 in a matter of an hour or 2. She went from 'caring' about me to trying to get me roughed up. Id say I definately have my answer.

Needless to say, Im not really considering a relationship with her anymore, considering she lied TWICE to me and her b/f, but that she also tried to cause me bodily harm.

Its wierd, I would say that she was lying about her feelings the entire time I knew her, but I ALSO found out recently that at one time, she talked to one of her girlfriends about breaking up with her b/f and hooking up with me. And judging from some of the correspondance we exchanged, I dont think you can fake some of the things that were said.

Ive pretty much left this mess with the idea that I was pretty much used for attention, and that she obviously didnt value whatever relationship we had enough to keep from lying to save herself. I dont think I could be in a relationship with her and always have to wonder if history is repeating itself. I have to see her b/f next week, and even though I'll tell him the truth about what happened if he asks, he probably wont want to beleive me, which is sad because I think he'll know Im telling the truth.

So to make a long story short, Ive gotten a little bit wiser, a little less trusting, and lost what I thought was a great friendship. I turned my life upside down for that girl, and all I asked for in return was honesty. And she couldnt handle it.

Feel free to offer your own perspectives!

[sonic486]

Hate both of them.

[sfalexi]

Ive pretty much left this mess with the idea that I was pretty much used for attention, and that she obviously didnt value whatever relationship we had enough to keep from lying to save herself. I dont think I could be in a relationship with her and always have to wonder if history is repeating itself. I have to see her b/f next week, and even though I'll tell him the truth about what happened if he asks, he probably wont want to beleive me, which is sad because I think he'll know Im telling the truth.

Yeah. If you feel the need to tell her boyfriend, go ahead. Or you also have the option of just not speaking to him and if HE brings it up, telling the truth. Cause no matter what you do, his "honey" wouldn't do something like that behind his back. No matter how obvious it is, if he didn't see it, it didn't happen. In the meantime I'd start hitting a punching bag to get ready in case you need to throw down next week.

Alexi

[XFactorNo9]

that's so sad... this was one of those potentially "lived happily ever after" stories, but insted it turned sour. I feel for you man! all i can say is, the good will be rewarded and the bad will be punished. in your case you'll probably find someone absolutly perfect for you. and the one you formerly had feelings for, will probably never have a fruitful relationship... ever. That is real justice.

[fixbayonets]

Well, the guy says he doesnt want to fight, and technically, besides bash him a few times, I dont really see what reason he has to fight me in the first place: Im not the one repeatedly lying to my partner here.
Then again, as a fellow man, I know he wont really be thinking about that when he's tryin to whoop my ass. All I can say is that Ive been upfront with this whole thing, and if he cant accept the truth, thats his mistake. If he wants to make it physical.....that would be an even BIGGER mistake.

[dubu]

This girl sounds like a bitch. From what you've said so far, I think you can do better and you rightfully will. As I said before, just let this whole situation go and try to forget about it. Limit the amount of time you hang out with her and go out and meet better people. Your life will be so much better without her. Trust me.

[fixbayonets]

I looked into it, and apparently, things simlar to this have happened before w/ this girl. Ive been hearing about other instances of 'friends' all of the sudden 'talking advantage of her friendship', and can even recall several stories that SHE told me about guys who tried to use her. Now I wonder if they were true, or if they were just prior instances of what happened to me. I want to confront her about all this, but right now, I dont even want to talk to her. I see her b/f in a few days, that should be interesting. I would almost garuntee he's not going to believe me, even though I have actual documentation of what really happened. I think alexi is right, if HE didnt see it, In his mind it didnt happen. Whatever, if he wants to live in denial, thats not my problem.

[sweet200]

I wonder what happened next.......this would be called a great story only it's not a story and someone might be hurting. All the same just curious.