Should I break up?

[vashti]

I just finished my PEDS/OB rotation. I didn't care for it, actually, except for Labor and Delivery. I was working in a county facility, and I saw some sad things.

[misombra]

sorry vashhh.

what's gonna be your next rotation?

m works in the kids psych unit and he sees some pretty horrible things too. i couldn't do it. i would get off of work and hunt down parents.

[vashti]

Psych is my next rotation. I don't anticipate loving that, either, but at least we aren't working with children. I am hoping to work with exhibitionists so I can point and laugh.

[asterick]

By abused, I meant that she was hit severely by her mother and father. I do not think it left more than bruises though to my knowledge. I know it got so bad one day that she tried to commit suicide. (keep in mind this all happened when she was 7-13). Her father from that point stopped, but her mother did not. She then moved out at 18. She still has this strange extreme love for her family that I can not understand. I think that is kind of odd. But I probably can not understand because I was not raised like that. It is easy for me to say I would never talk to my parents again of that happened. But That is coming from a 25 year old who was never hit more than twice with an open hand.

[asterick]

In case anyone was wondering what happened to me and this post, I decided to try and make it work. There is too much good to just let go without a final effort. I spoke to her about everything. We talked for hours about her stress, the mess, the house, her past, and everything else. I basically said I can not see a future with you the way things are going, but I would like to not loose you. She was half expecting some sort of talk, but not as extreme as this. She was very open to all my suggestions. I assured her that some will work, and some will not. She needs to make this her decision. She said that while I did bring up these changes, she would work on them not only because it is effecting our relationship, but also because it is for her own personal growth. I made sure that she understood the seriousness of what is at hand, and that it is not something I can live with. I am also being as understanding as possible, in the fact that I know these are lots of big changes and they will take time.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their help, support, and advice on this forum. You really helped me talk myself through this. Some people supported the decision I made, some did not. I still thank everyone who was on either side of the spectrum.

The next months will be critical and we will see how it goes. If it does not work out, I can at least be sure in my decision that I gave it my hardest effort.

[alidile]

half nelson much?

she's "too cold" to have sex... even i couldn't pull that one... i'm pretty darned positive it warms up EVERYONE in the world if it's being done remotely at all.
i'm sorry man, i think you should just separate for a while. cos she's a bit more than disturbed and though it may not be her fault, at a certain point you are accountable for your own actions. someone who's being impressionable on children knows that very well. being lazy is something she has control over. trust me, i don't feel like doing anything in life and i'm the laziest person too but i've realized that in order to survive i have to do stuff i don't wanna and couldn't care less about, really i'd rather sit in bed all day and say woe is me, and i've done it before and all that crap. i feel sorry for her but she has to do something else than carrying on all day normally and then coming home and you having to pick up the pieces. if you want to be alone for a while then let alone for a while. it doesn't mean it has to end there. and talk about it openly if you haven't really done it. I mean, i'm sure there's days when you just want to throw your stuff around and sit on the floor and be catered to or feel hopeless, tell her you know how she feels, like many people do, even if not in the same capacity, but you're an adult, and you pick up.

[IndiReloaded]

Good luck, Rick, whatever happens.