What did you get for Valentines day?

[IndiReloaded]

If you're not giving anyone else an honest chance, then of course the only person you'll only ever think about is this one girl.

Look at it similar to the no contact thing. Just because a person have discontinued contact with their ex, doesn't necessarily mean they're suddenly happy go lucky without them. I think you might need to relearn to appreciate another person. Like a new puppy to replace an old dog.

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better.

OV, the reason I spend so much time on this is that, simply, you remind me a LOT of my husband at your age. Its a mindset I understand VERY well. The things I caution you about in other threads come from that deep understanding. Given, however, that my advice comes from a single experience, you must take it or leave it for whatever its worth to you. My own son will be similar in temperment when he gets older & will have the same type of issues, I expect. So, if my advice helps you or anyone else, wonderful. Likewise, your valuable postings & experiences are something that I read to understand & hopefully apply later for my son's benefit. Sometimes I just post for fun & am bored. Usually, tho, I am trying to learn something. I hope you don't mind & this gives you a better idea of where I am coming from.

[Only-virgins]

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better.

OV, the reason I spend so much time on this is that, simply, you remind me a LOT of my husband at your age. Its a mindset I understand VERY well. The things I caution you about in other threads come from that deep understanding. Given, however, that my advice comes from a single experience, you must take it or leave it for whatever its worth to you. My own son will be similar in temperment when he gets older & will have the same type of issues, I expect. So, if my advice helps you or anyone else, wonderful. Likewise, your valuable postings & experiences are something that I read to understand & hopefully apply later for my son's benefit. Sometimes I just post for fun & am bored. Usually, tho, I am trying to learn something. I hope you don't mind & this gives you a better idea of where I am coming from.

What do you mean? How do I compare to your husband? Are you that girl he liked?

[lastwish]

I got to see a recent picture of the girl I am in love with from ten years ago....thus restarting my obsession for my love for her all over again....yeeeeeeeay.

Yes...hmmm....what exactly did she do that made you fall in love with her that long? I didn't know guys can get that attached.

[Only-virgins]

Yes...hmmm....what exactly did she do that made you fall in love with her that long?

She was born.

[DoesntMatter]

She was born.

So was I, why aren't you obsessing over me?

[Only-virgins]

So was I, why aren't you obsessing over me?

Cause you were born ugly and with out a vagina.

[Junket]

Cause you were born ugly and with out a vagina.

Seriously, he's trying to get in everyone's pants.

[DoesntMatter]

Cause you were born ugly and with out a vagina.

Yes, but I was also born with an asshole... Fancy that

[IndiReloaded]

What do you mean? How do I compare to your husband? Are you that girl he liked?

Yes. He watched me for a while before making his move. Science-type, studied me, no joke. OV, he convinced me to leave my useless BF for him. He was right.

[Gigabitch]

Yes, but I was also born with an asshole... Fancy that

Jeeze, DM. You ARE getting desperate, aren't you?

[Only-virgins]

Yes. He watched me for a while before making his move. Science-type, studied me, no joke. OV, he convinced me to leave my useless BF for him. He was right.

Your boyfriend was usless? lol ... maybe it isn't to late for me

[IndiReloaded]

Your boyfriend was usless? lol ... maybe it isn't to late for me

Well, he's a lawyer now so I'd have to say yes... oops, did I say that? (just kidding Miso & Squirrel)

Actually, my ex is a really nice fellow. I never really had bad BF experiences. Just wasn't the right 'fit' for my personality.

If your interest is single again, mbe you should look her up. It could be really amazing or it could be closure for you. But before you do, I would take some of the advice you're getting here & elsewhere and build up some confidence. Only idiots repeat their past mistakes; smart ppl just make new ones.

[IndiReloaded]

Yes...hmmm....what exactly did she do that made you fall in love with her that long? I didn't know guys can get that attached.

Oh sure they do. Seen it myself. Its called 'the one who got away'. I think it happens more often w/men than women, actually, tho this is just my own opinion. Its not the kind of thing guys mention tho, they tend to suck it up better than women. Until they go postal over it.

[Only-virgins]

If your interest is single again, mbe you should look her up. It could be really amazing or it could be closure for you. But before you do, I would take some of the advice you're getting here & elsewhere and build up some confidence. Only idiots repeat their past mistakes; smart ppl just make new ones.

I'm trying to find out but she is a tough cookie to find anywhere. I only made two mistakes...waiting to long and doing nothing.

Oh sure they do. Seen it myself. Its called 'the one who got away'. I think it happens more often w/men than women, actually, tho this is just my own opinion. Its not the kind of thing guys mention tho, they tend to suck it up better than women. Until they go postal over it.

This sounds all good but in my experience It isn't that she got away. I really like her more than any other girl. I understand what you mean though, it does happen.

[IndiReloaded]

This sounds all good but in my experience It isn't that she got away. I really like her more than any other girl. I understand what you mean though, it does happen.

You know, OV, I hear what you are saying. But from where I'm sitting (a relatively older person, like your parents) I would just say you are largely caught in a feedback loop of inexperience-fear-unable to act. Get me? I'm not disrespecting your feelings, they are what they are, but until you've dated say 10, 20 girls and you STILL feel that way its hard to put your feelings down to much more than inexperience & perhaps a touch of obsession. Scientists are well known for their obsessive-compulsive personalities, BTW, so this is entirely expected. You just need to learn when to control it & when to use it to your advantage.

Avoid the things that restimulate those feelings, they aren't helping you right now. Do things that give you confidence interacting w/other ppl & that make you feel good. Try some of the mental 'halt' methods on that link I posted. Try some of Scorps suggestions, mbe you should start a general thread asking if there are any guys that had the 'shyness' problem & how they got over it. Collect a whole damn shopping list of things to try in this regard & keep doing what works. While I agree that you need to change your thinking, I also know from my own work w/ppl that waiting to be motivated is a trap. Sometime, you just have to DO something, anything & start seeing some results. THEN, once you see things are happening, that's when the motivation to continue will kick in.

Go get em hon, the genes making that mind of yours are a waste not to get passed on. Grrr.