Is it always a bad idea to have sex on a first date?

[Charlie Boy II]

If a girl f-cked me on the first date I think that would all but eliminate the chances of a long term relationship. Not out of any consious decision making process, it just wouldn't sit in my gut. Kristin made me wait for a month and a half.

So no, if I was a girl I wouldn't f-ck a bloke I was interested in on the first date. In fac i'd hold out as long as possible. There's almost always some wisdom in those old chestnuts.

[Vina520]

I think it is not good . Although some girls are shy ,perhpas they want them in their hearts

[bohemiandonut]

Might as well not have sex all together then..

You're no more at risk on the first date than you are at the end of the 10th year..

Next..

I must say I disagree with Lesa and think your logic is actually quite flawed, G. The implication of getting laid on the first date, aside from some fantastical magical "omgILOVEYOU!" first date, is always that the girl is eeeeasy. Quite easy. The implication of this, of course, is:

DIRTY DIRTY WHORE VAGINA!!! ABORT!!!

For someone who likes to appeal to our evolutionary wiring so much, you seem to be quite intent on ignoring the pragmatics (i.e. inevitable emotional response) of the situation. Keep in mind that this is what the question is about. Keep in mind also that all of these quasi-logical emotionally-based conclusions are, in general, quite accurate.

So, what's your agenda here, mmm?

[vashti]

I must say I disagree with Lesa and think your logic is actually quite flawed, G. The implication of getting laid on the first date, aside from some fantastical magical "omgILOVEYOU!" first date, is always that the girl is eeeeasy. Quite easy. The implication of this, of course, is:

DIRTY DIRTY WHORE VAGINA!!! ABORT!!!

For someone who likes to appeal to our evolutionary wiring so much, you seem to be quite intent on ignoring the pragmatics (i.e. inevitable emotional response) of the situation. Keep in mind that this is what the question is about. Keep in mind also that all of these quasi-logical emotionally-based conclusions are, in general, quite accurate.

So, what's your agenda here, mmm?

Well donut, since you agree with me, you are obviously smart enough for law school. Have you considered it?

[lesa]

I must say I disagree with Lesa and think your logic is actually quite flawed, G. The implication of getting laid on the first date, aside from some fantastical magical "omgILOVEYOU!" first date, is always that the girl is eeeeasy. Quite easy. The implication of this, of course, is:

DIRTY DIRTY WHORE VAGINA!!! ABORT!!!

For someone who likes to appeal to our evolutionary wiring so much, you seem to be quite intent on ignoring the pragmatics (i.e. inevitable emotional response) of the situation. Keep in mind that this is what the question is about. Keep in mind also that all of these quasi-logical emotionally-based conclusions are, in general, quite accurate.

So, what's your agenda here, mmm?

I am assuming that a lot of men are being raped by these women who sleep on the first date or else you mean she is actually masturbating on you without your consent.

I always tell my friends that prostitutes will go out of business if they did not have customers. EVERYBODY, have to abstain from sex in order to prevent disease not just girls. Like I said I agree with not having sex on the first date but only if men are also hold to these same standards.

As far as the medical thing goes, I have heard people getting diseases after their first sexual encounter. The only way to guarantee to be disease free is to abstain from all types of sexual contact.

[lesa]

To answer the OP, it may not be a good idea to have sex on the first date but if it does happen it is not necessarily the end of the relationship. After all, the person you sleep with also had sex on the first date. So it really depends on what they are after. If they are only after sex then hopefully they told you this desire before having sex. If they want a relationship then obviously you have not offended their values because they are with you. I know of several couples who have married after sleeping on the first date but most knew each other for awhile before the date. You have to COMMUNICATE your desires before agreeing to do anything.

The problem that the man or woman may have difficulty determining is whether you are girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife material (and WANT to be in a relationship) if you sleep on the first date without communicating your desires. I think that is what many are saying in these posts. Many may assume that you only want sex. It’s really about communication. Tell him/her what you want from them beforehand. The need to hold the same values determines whether you are worthy of a relationship. Maybe it is a test that men do….I don’t know, but he is not worthy of a relationship with me if he test girls by sleeping with them on the first date. WTF does that say about him?

[lesa]

If a girl f-cked me on the first date I think that would all but eliminate the chances of a long term relationship. Not out of any consious decision making process, it just wouldn't sit in my gut. Kristin made me wait for a month and a half.

So no, if I was a girl I wouldn't f-ck a bloke I was interested in on the first date. In fac i'd hold out as long as possible. There's almost always some wisdom in those old chestnuts.

To the OP....what is said here is a very good way to getting in a long-term relationship by most men standards. This technique can be done especially if you feel uncomfortable communicating or unsure if he is relationship material to you. You are seen as valuable to him when you abstain from sex as long as you desire. You are also in a better position to giving yourself time to determine if he is worthy of a long-term relationship and before getting too sexually intimate.

[anachronistic]

Depending on how good she was, I would be willing to take more time to get to know her before labeling her easy, or desperate, or whore, or anything.

Generally not, though, because I am looking for a relationship with someone that can join me on my adventure; sex is one of many aspects.

[Illusional]

wtf.. are we leaving out all the ugly guys in this thread?? haven't you heard of love at first sight??

raverboy

[angela1984]

I've had sex on the first date quite a few times

[starbuck]

Some of us value our sexuality a great deal, and wait to see if the guy is worthy of it. Waiting also allows us to make sure the guy isn't just after one thing.

I need some sort of emotional connection, too, which is hard to get on the first date. Without that it's just animal rutting.

And there is the disease factor as mentioned. I live in a big city where there's alot of stuff goin' around. An orgasm only lasts a minute, but herpes is forever. I would make sure I knew something about the guy's sexual history if possible.

If that sounds prudish, so be it. It's my body and my health, and I highly value both.

[Cain]

I would not enter into a relationship with a girl that was willing to have sex on the first date, because I'd lose all attraction. I'd secretly wonder how many other men had been successful at getting her to have sex on the first date and the thought would sicken me. I don't want a slut. I want a good girl.