im moving, she is freaking out

[misombra]

...and your premises are?

[dom4400]

well just to provide an update. She quit her job and moved to California last week. I started my new job here 3 weeks ago and it has been very stressful. And to add more to it my girlfriend and I have been very tense with one another since she got here. A part of me is not feeling very appreciated and Im quite sure she is feeling guilty about coming sooner rather than waiting it out like I preferred. The kids just arrived yesterday from visiting with their dad and grandparents. And as weird as it sounds, we have not been as distant with each other with them around. Anyways, thats the update for now.

[Illusional]

tell her that all she can do is accept this because either way you're moving. it's up to her if she wants to pursue you, but unfortunate for her, in this scenario, your job will come first.

raverboy

[Dasein]

I'm sorry to say this but things will be tense when you move in together. They are tense under normal circumstances what with the merging of possessions, finances and unpacking. On top of that you add a big move, new job and kids to the mix!

Just try the best you can to support one another. You obviously love her to make such a big step together. Be patient as well. Try to understand how she may be feeling. Maybe once you have settled down a little you could go out on your own and have a romantic evening. Rekindle what originally attracted you.

[lesa]

well just to provide an update. She quit her job and moved to California last week. I started my new job here 3 weeks ago and it has been very stressful. And to add more to it my girlfriend and I have been very tense with one another since she got here. A part of me is not feeling very appreciated and Im quite sure she is feeling guilty about coming sooner rather than waiting it out like I preferred. The kids just arrived yesterday from visiting with their dad and grandparents. And as weird as it sounds, we have not been as distant with each other with them around. Anyways, thats the update for now.

My observations and experience say that marriage can help this situation. Without marriage, this may become a sad story. I'm not trying to pressure you....just saying.

[shh!]

Perhaps you would ease her insecurities if you asked her to marry you.

I still say this. ^^

[dom4400]

Another update: i've been extremely impatient with her and the kids. I'm working 10-14 hour days a week including weekends and when I get home, I just don't want to hear any complaining or hear of any problems since thats what I have been dealing with all day long at work. I know thats not fair to her or the kids but I don't really know how to turn that around. She just started a new job last week so she is dealing with the anxiety of a new job as well. To top it off, women at work have been complimenting me alot lately and it sucks because i would prefer to get those compliments from home. I can't blame my g/f or the kids for not complimenting me more because i've been tired and grouchy.