A Question for the Fellas

[and_for_what]

I was 20 before I had sex, and infact I had never done anything with a girl before that. I went to a boys' school, as well, and was always solitary, I suppose, and then in my first year of university there was some female interest in me but I never pursued it. It was the same at school, I guess.
The girl I finally got with was a virgin as well, and that seemed pretty normal to me. Maybe it's unusual, I don't know. It's pretty easy NOT to sleep around during your teens, though. I was never someone who saw the appeal in it, anyway. I sometimes felt like I wanted a girlfriend, but never very strongly and it was never in the front of my mind.
Sex wasn't such a HUGE deal to me and my girlfriend then, I mean, what with the internet and all, we all know what happens. It was significant, sure, but it didn't feel like it mattered too much either way. I did actually regret it a bit for a few weeks afterwards, because it was a big change in what I had and hadn't done in life, and therefore who I was, but I got over that.

Have you had any sexual involvement with girls, but just not actual intercourse? I had done nothing and to be honest actually having sex was a relatively unexciting step compared to the other stuff we had done previously.


In the end it's up to you. I don't regret how I did it at all. I'm glad I'm not a virgin now, and I'm glad I never had sex before I did. To me, it was the right time and the right person. A lot of people can't say that, which is a shame.

[TheTooya]

Thanks again for the input. Just to clarify, I'm not interested in sex for the sake of peer pressure. I agree with you that that is retarded. I'm asking the question because I want to have sex and I'm trying to determine whether or not it's worth to wait for someone special instead of indulging now.

I think Vashti and 'and_for_what' has got the point I was trying to make to some extent. Sex is not the end-all-be-all, it isn't a mystical force, its just what happens.

If you wait it out for someone special... well, it may sound nice to the girl that you were willing to lose your v-card to (I am doubtful of this... but hey!)

..

I would basically argue it isn't worth it. If you want to have sex, then go out and have fun. Waiting for someone special will prolong the inevitable.

Here, tell you what, heres my little story. I had a pretty serious relationship that ended roughly 6 months ago. I had waited, I waited and waited and waited, just to make sure was the right person. She was, in fact, ready before I was, but I wanted to make sure. After several months of dating, I decided she was the right person, and we did it. And that was it, no special sparks in the air, no flying dragons visitting, it was basically just that. The relationship continued happily as it did before, however I started to realize my ex was becoming crazy/possessive (for instance, she got jealous when I was holding my 2yo sister, fun stuff like that)... long story short, I broke it off.

Soo yea....
I did, in fact, wait... and I pretty much feel it was a meaningless wait. If you want to do it, then don't hold yourself back. Sex isn't a mythical force, its something you can do for fun.

[TheGreek]

So I guess that it really all comes down to personal preference. See, that's why I asked the question. I've always thought that I was going to wait for the right person to come along to make it special. But then I got to thinking, is sex really all that special? Why wait for something that may not be as big of a deal as one may think?

[nd_guy]

I wouldnt worry about gaining experience.... do it when you're ready to do it - getting experience for the next girl isnt going to do you much good anyway as they are all different.

I was 18 when I lost mine and it was with my best friend. We never dated, it wasnt planned, it sort of just happened one night. It was spectacular for me - shortly after that we lost touch (not because of that) and didnt really talk much for 7 years and recently we reconnected (dating now) - here i found out it was pretty memorable for her and she didnt know until we started talking again that i was a virgin at the time - she was floored really. So experience doesnt mean anything - i think great sex requires some emotional connection. Sex is good no matter what really imo - but great sex is unique!

[vashti]

So I guess that it really all comes down to personal preference.

I think you should just be careful that your potential partner looks at sex the same way you do. Nothing is worse (for a girl) than giving it up to a guy who doesn't care about her virginity (or more importantly, HER), when she had a lot of emotion invested in it.

[TheGreek]

I think you should just be careful that your potential partner looks at sex the same way you do. Nothing is worse (for a girl) than giving it up to a guy who doesn't care about her virginity (or more importantly, HER), when she had a lot of emotion invested in it.

Oh yeah, I understand that. That's why I posed the question to men instead of in general. Women, in general, tend to value their virginity more than men.

[Nice Lover Boy]

I lost mine at a party who I was trying to get some girl who I liked jealous. I was a freshmen so I didn't know what I was doing. I got hooked with a Sophomore and that's all it took. It meant nothing but loosing something to make another girl jealous. I didn't want to sleep with the sophomore, all I wanted to do was talk to her while making the other girl jealous. Very dumb of me. From that point, I just wanted to sleep around cuz I liked it.

[greenfish7]

all good suggestions..taken!!

[TheGreek]

I lost mine at a party who I was trying to get some girl who I liked jealous. I was a freshmen so I didn't know what I was doing. I got hooked with a Sophomore and that's all it took. It meant nothing but loosing something to make another girl jealous. I didn't want to sleep with the sophomore, all I wanted to do was talk to her while making the other girl jealous. Very dumb of me. From that point, I just wanted to sleep around cuz I liked it.

You have any regrets about that?

[greenfish7]

its better to wait and find a caring one..

[greenfish7]

this has been discussed earlier..read previous posts..

[TheGreek]

this has been discussed earlier..read previous posts..

Yeah, 'cause I'm sure there's another thread on here with the exact same question from someone in my exact situation...

[Cbrider]

Sex is a weird thing, it means something different to every person. Some guys will whore themselves out for various reasons, I would never do that because there are a lot of emotions involved with sex. I personally feel about a hundred times closer to my partner after having sex, whereas normally I am not as much of a cuddly person.

Losing your virginity is NOT a race, and believe me....you lose it because you feel like you need to and you will not be happy about it.

Pick the right reason and the right girl.

[Vodka]

What a bunch of dung. Get laid as often as you can. Your putting the pussy on a pedastal. The only thing you are going to get out of that is to be put in the black hole known as the friends list. You're setting yourself up to become habitually the 'nice guy'. If you can get laid, do it as often as possible.

Chicks don't like the guy who can't get laid. They want to be with the guy all the other girls want.

Read this article:

[url]http://www.ladderwiki.com/w/index.php/Are_You_Beta[/url]

and:

[url]http://www.ladderwiki.com/w/index.php/Ladder_Theory[/url]


Don't become the Intellectual whore. You'll regret it when you get older. And if nothing else, ignore what women tell you. It's usually just crap. Talk to your circle of buddies who are getting laid. They'll tell you not what you want to hear but what is actually working for them.

[CAM]

I lost "it" at age seven. The babysitter discovered I could have an erection.