I found emails from my Boyfriend's Past

[Sureality]

Just out of curiosity, do you keep your partners under surveillance?

Hell No, If I can't trust someone then I don't think I should be in a relationship with them.

[Sureality]

why do we have to bust our asses in a relationship instead of being happy with what we have?

We don't, we SHOULD be happy with what we have.

[Junket]

Why you gotta play devil's advocate?

I was gearing up to chew you out.

[Sureality]

Why you gotta play devil's advocate?

I was gearing up to chew you out.

I'm just being honest, I do believe that she should follow my advice even if I personally would follow a different path. Oh and plz chew away.

[Junket]

Chew away.

Nah, I'm good now.

I think it's just smell of garlic bread, wafting from the oven.

mmmm!

[Sureality]

Nah, I'm good now.

I think it's just smell of garlic bread, wafting from the oven.

mmmm!

Ok now I gotta go make some... thanks a lot.

[Mish]

I'm just being honest, I do believe that she should follow my advice even if I personally would follow a different path.

You want her to follow your advice so she can get dumped? I suppose there's logic in that.

[lesa]

I say break up with him. You're too full of drama.

[amazonian]

What you're feeling is plain ole jealousy and insecurity. Neither feeling is constructive and will get you anywhere (trust me - I know). Poor fella is a bit young to be having to prove himself in the language dept - he probably thinks what he's saying is a good thing and he probably really means it. If you can't accept that a guy has a past relationship and enjoyed being with her, then maybe you should try and find someone who has never been with anyone before. Ever. Goodluck with that. Snooping is definitely not a good habit for a trusting relationship. If you can, get over it, say nothing more, DONT DO IT AGAIN, and talk to strangers and safe girlfriends who won't blab about what you did until you have it off your chest. Unless you are actually looking for a reason to break up with him?... Really, there is nothing wrong with what he has done... Remember you are both young and have a long way to go... Try and be calm by the time you do talk to him (if you do have to) - don't do it while you are all worked up.

[carl1222]

I think we lost the OP 2 pages ago ... she obviously mistook LF for a site where everyone will agree with her rather than give her an impartial outsider perspective.

Carl.

[Junket]

I think we lost the OP 2 pages ago ... she obviously mistook LF for a site where everyone will agree with her rather than give her an impartial outsider perspective.

Carl.

Oh, that's a given.

Notice she lacked many details.

Posters (many of them female), have a tendency to leave out important details to sway members to their side and make them feel better about the bad decisions they've made and will make.

She never even posted what he actually "said".

We've been doing this too long to fall for that shit.

[Aeradalia]

Just a thought... aren't relationships difficult enough to maintain, keep healthy, and enduring without having to add extra trivial drama?

Since when does it matter what the guy says... so long as it's from his heart? So what if you 'bust your ass to keep things interesting'? Did he ask you to do these things? Btw... why are you trying so hard? He's suppose to like you for you... and if you're trying to be something you're not, then he's not really in love with the REAL you... now is he?

It's one thing to have standards... it's quite another to have standards so high as to be unreasonable. You need to just be you in the relationship and you need to accept him as he is. If you cannot be yourself and accept him for who he is... then the relationship is kind of pointless... isn't it?

[bluesummer]

My fiance and I have had several other relationships where we 'loved' other people. I would be stupid to think he had only loved me, or that anything he's ever said to me he's never said to any other partner in his past. He would be stupid to think the same of me. I would feel really dumb asking him to be more 'creative' with his affection. He loves me, and that's all I need. It's enough.

It's not enough for you because you're insecure in your relationship. If you thought it was so solid, you wouldn't be snooping in his emails and 'busting your ass' to do nice things for him. I do stuff for my fiance on a daily business, and I don't consider it busting my ass.....I consider part of a healthy, loving relationship. I love him, so I do stuff for him, and it doesn't take any extra effort.

I doubt you're reading these posts anymore, but you should. You should also take them seriously. You're going to ruin your relationship with this insecurity of yours.

[IndiReloaded]

I doubt she's coming back, but on the chance she does:

Lessia, unless there is something specifically about YOU in those messages, I wouldn't read too much into them. He's with you now, not whoever is from his past. Most guys 'love the one they're with', don't worry.

[kate_spencer]

Hi everyone,
I feel like poop.
I'm 20 and have been seriously dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years.
2 months before we started going out he broke up with his ex who he'd been dating for a little over a year.
I love my boyfriend very much but I found an email he sent his ex (when they were still going out) It was a love letter and contained a lot of phrases I've heard him say to me.
They don't keep in contact but is it wrong that I feel upset that he's used these lines before?
I've had ex's and can honestly say that I've never felt with them what I feel now with my bf. Why do his messages to his ex sound so much like what we have? I don't like the idea of him having loved someone as he loves me. I think that if we're going to be together, he must feel something different from all the others. right?
I don't know what to do or to confront him about it.
please please help.
-Lessia

Hello Lessia,
You know, everyone was right.. there's nothing to be upset with. It's like you watched a movie, and you liked the dialog threw by a character, then you used it and it worked, then over and over like scratching a cd Yes, no creativity, but the thought is there.. and the effort to make you impress.
And snooping over a private property isn't a good idea, and striking over his past? I'm sure you don't want him to do that.