jacking off!!!

[Only-virgins]

iv tried that and he wont let cum in my mouth and alot of times he wont let me finish even when i know he is close...the shit is frusturating

that is just weird. I still think you are ugly. Maybe he can't finish with your face there.

[TheGreek]

Whatever, you know it is.

Of course it is. I was trying to make you feel better

[doppelgaenger]

Just talk to him already, jesus christ. If you've tried everything and he doesn't listen to your needs when you bring them to him verbally, break up with him. This is a huge crock of shit.

[annoyed23]

okay, I have just dealt with this issue. I got jealous because my man was jacking off instead of waiting to be with me. the one thing someone said to me on this site was that its maintenance, and it takes alot less energy. My man finally came clean to me about it 2 nights ago...his ego will not let him get off until I do...and sometimes it takes forever, and he gets tired...so as women, we need to understand that jacking off takes alot less energy and time and its not something to be worried about. however, if hes doing it while you are home, instead of being with you, then thats a problem. I had this issue 2 nights ago when i went to bed and i found my mans porn in his hand ready to jerk off right next to me...that hurt me...but we ended up having sex anyway. he loves sex with me, but he also loves the quick release of doing it for himself.

[lesa]

What type of guy has a girl that wants it more than he does? It would be one thing if she wanted it 5 times a day, but 5 times a week seems very doable. If I have a girl and she wants to get done, I do her. I feel like there is something at least a little wrong in this situation. So talk to him and figure out what's what.

A guy whose goal is to immediately reach orgasm and not to perform.

[Aeradalia]

A guy whose goal is to immediately reach orgasm and not to perform.

Perform is such an ugly word. It's not so much a matter of performing for another person... as it is taking pleasure in their own pleasures. Becoming enthralled in the whole experience of your pleasure and theirs at the same time.

So what if the guy comes first? Usually takes women longer anyway. The guy gets the first one out of the way... his endurance tends to go up then... I really don't see this as a bad thing. He's usually less worried after coming once anyway... it's really not that big of a deal.

When it's all said and done... we've both had fun... and yes, eventually learn how to 'time' our release together...

Tell your guy to relax... the learning process of sex is half (if not more) of the fun! Laugh at the silliness of it all and just enjoy yourselves...

[lesa]

Perform is such an ugly word. It's not so much a matter of performing for another person... as it is taking pleasure in their own pleasures. Becoming enthralled in the whole experience of your pleasure and theirs at the same time.

So what if the guy comes first? Usually takes women longer anyway. The guy gets the first one out of the way... his endurance tends to go up then... I really don't see this as a bad thing. He's usually less worried after coming once anyway... it's really not that big of a deal.

When it's all said and done... we've both had fun... and yes, eventually learn how to 'time' our release together...

Tell your guy to relax... the learning process of sex is half (if not more) of the fun! Laugh at the silliness of it all and just enjoy yourselves...

All of that sounds like performance to me. To a man it is, otherwise the erectile dyfunction medications would not be needed until pregnancy is desired.

He doesn't want to deal with that right now for whatever reason. She wants to be satisfied through his sexual performance. She demands the sex because she wants his pleasure otherwise she would just masturbate too. He doesn't want to deal with orgasm and then continuing until she does and eventually learning to orgasm at the same time. At this time of his life, he doesn't want to deal with that.

If they want to just "play" around how about they keep their undies on and explore other physical touch. Must pleasure be all about penetration?

[annoyed23]

touch is good, but it doesnt do nearly as much for me as penetration does. we explore with touch...its a different level of intimacy.

[Aeradalia]

Must pleasure be all about penetration?

Nope... there are other forms.. such as cunnilingus, fellatio, mutual masturbation and so on.

I was referring to the negative connotation of perform... as in the guy's only reason for being there is to serve the woman --- as though his own needs and wants didn't matter.

A guy does not 'perform' for me like some monkey that does tricks... we 'play' together... rather than expect the other to 'perform' for us.

I was also trying to convey the sense of enjoying each others company in intimate moments... rather than focusing on who comes when and why and how often. Score keeping in the bedroom is one of the quickest ways to kill a sex-life.

[lesa]

Yep keeping score kills romance. That's what I mean. When a man does not sex a woman to her liking one of the first things a woman will do is ask her friends or seek others for advice on how to get him to sex her to her liking. The man could be completely satisfied with whatever sexual play he does get from her but if it's him she talks about his size, his frequency, his ED, his premature ejaculation, his lack of orgasm, his poor techniques, etc. A man may say similar things about his woman but first he would probably wonder again about what he is doing to satisfy her.

Apparently this guy is either satisfied with the way things are or he is tried of performing [or any other similar term]. It's not a negative term for me.

Maybe she should tell him to just lay back and relax because she will do all the work this time.

Sometimes you just want to orgasm without dealing with the other romantic stuff. He could be depressed. His dog may have died. He just want to blow...not connect on a romantic, spiritual or whatever level with another right now.

[devilsfangs]

is it possible he is gay or has some other hang ups? Has this been going on since ya'll first hooked up or something recent?

[Lite]

Sometimes you just want to orgasm without dealing with the other romantic stuff.

How about most of the time. Orgasm releases happy joy joy chemicals in your brain. You don't have to worry about if you're too big, or too small, or if your breath smells, or making sure someone else gets off too.

You just do it, feel better, and go on about your day.

While it is a sexual act, I don't know many men that use masturbation in place of sex. (Unless they're NOT getting any to begin with.) Typically it really is just a habit that a guy formed when he was a lot younger.

Sex requires an outlay of energy. Jacking off, 5-15 minutes and you're done. No foreplay, no fumbling around to unhook a bra, no muss, no fuss, boom you're done and back to your normal life. No cuddling afterwards, no risk of disease or pregnancy. None of that comes in to play.

If the guy is jerking off as an actual replacement for sex, it's because he can't stand his partner. More often than not, he just can't bring himself to output the necessary energy for the act. Like you said, many reasons for low energy/sex drive. Maybe the woman just talks too damn much during sex?

[Lite]

is it possible he is gay or has some other hang ups? Has this been going on since ya'll first hooked up or something recent?

Masturbation has nothing to do with sexual preference.

[Teezy]

Let him put it in your pooper.

No seriously, maybe he has a fetish or fantasy that he's embarrassed about and is afraid you might reject him if he lets it out. Is it a normal porn site? Or is it called AnimalFarm.com? You know what I mean?

My girlfriend has a higher sex drive than I do, but I don't masturbate behind her back. She wants sex all the frickin' time and I like it once a day, maybe once every other day, maybe once every 3 days who knows, depends on the week. How long has this been going on?

[Babeejulss]

Why don't you whip out your vibrator - and have at it in front of him?