Will this boy ever grow up???

[misombra]

that's my boyfriend.

sometimes threads will be up on my computer and he's compelled to respond to them in lieu of me. lol.

i still think the guy's a loser.

[yerana]

That's his name! Is he reading all this??? F' it. I don't even care any more.

[vashti]

???

Yerana, is your boyfriend's name Mikey, too? Or did I misunderstand you?

[misombra]

damn we just gave someone a heart attack.

well my mikey, although he's not the most motivated person in the world, is far more motivated and much younger than the guy you date.

[yerana]

Yep...well, not Mikey, but Mike.

[yerana]

Good god, you guys gave me a scare! LOL

[misombra]

lol.

well if you're interested, he and i had a discussion about your thread and he says you like money. my argument was that an unmotivated person is really difficult to be with as a partner, and that having goals and aspirations are pretty important.

he says having an unmotivated partner is better than having some rich asshole who can't get it up.

so yeah, there you go lol.

[yerana]

I'm not really sure how anyone could deduce that I "like money" by my post. There are many other things I wrote about him that have nothing to do with money. I never said I didn't like the guy..I just am on this forum asking people their opinion. I am 34 and am looking for a "mate" to marry and have kids with. I'm just wondering if I should be looking elsewhere and not going with my "gut" feeling that he is right guy, cause everyone knows "gut" feelings are really just hormones. And hormones are not brain cells.

[misombra]

girl, look elsewhere. you'll be taking care of two babies if you have a child with this one.

[yerana]

girl, look elsewhere. you'll be taking care of two babies if you have a child with this one.

Thanks Misombra...I guess I just needed a wake-up call. I'm really sad this relationship is going to end, in a way. I had this ideal image of him in my head about who he was and was mistaken. He doesn't seem like he would be too heart-broken--and that is a pretty good sign it is not right, I think. Thanks for the advice.

[Anomaly]

You're right, Anomaly. I do feel bad judging him still. I know he is not a lazy person...he is always on the go, has a band, always doing creative things--none of which make him money, but that doesn't seem to bother him. I just wish had a little more sense when it came to money.

I spoke with him yesterday about our relationship. I was telling him I was not hip on getting involved with him since he is going away for a year. He seemed to think we could just do a long-distance thing and that might work out. I mentioned that I might be open to the idea (just to pry a little more into his thoughts even though I wasn't even considering it) and I said we could see each other on holidays then?...He said, "well... I'll be with my family then, so probably not". Ack! What is he? 8 years old? Just...no...............Next!!!

I am attractive, healthy, have a masters and am stable financially-but I guess also now a wee bit crazy considering I didn't see this coming. What was I thinking???

Yeah, don't get into the long distance relationship thing, especially if he has that kind of attitude towards it. "might"? I would never have the nerve to say that to somebody, I wouldn't want anybody to wait around for me just because it "might" work out. He has to be committed to it 100% for it to work, especially since HE is the one who is leaving for a YEAR. You deserve way better than somebody like that, especially since you are such a smart and well rounded person. Kick him to the curb and let him find out what he is missing. I have heard so many personal stories of well educated people who's life is a living hell, as recently as yesterday. My uncles friend, she is a doctor, and her husband is 200,000 dollars in debt, and she is just now leaving him behind. They have 2 kids, and thanks to him, she is going to be stuck with that debt. Don't let it get to the point of no return like that! Don't fund his incompetency, you are way better than that!

Best of luck to you!

[Gigabitch]

Believe me, you'll love your future kids WAY more than you love him. Do right by them. Give then a decent father.

[yerana]

I spoke with him again today...he says that he wants to get a job teaching abroad when he is out of school. He's going to be 38 when he finishes his schooling and then he wants to move abroad somewhere. Sounds pretty cool, but it is difficult living abroad, although it sounds great. In reality it is very difficult. I've was an expat in Europe for more almost 3 years on and off. I think he just wants to run away from his debts probably--somewhere they can't find him. I dunno--we are just two different people now. He seems so selfish sometimes. He doesn't want to make sacrifices for a relationship.

I spent the last 8 months trying to move to where he was only to learn he is moving across the country for 8 months. He is not leaving for a couple months but he still wants to try to "get to know each other" before he leaves (hmmm...I wonder why?). Granted he waited a long time for me to move, but now that it finally happened, he is leaving. Grrrrrr...what is wrong with him? He had me going for so long. I guess the real question is "what is wrong with me?" lol.

[yerana]

What is wrong with him? For the love of god. He is so unreliable and immature. How can he look me straight in the face and just lie? Too complicated to get into, but my. god. I'm so sick of being the man in this relationship.

[Cbrider]

What is wrong with him? For the love of god. He is so unreliable and immature. How can he look me straight in the face and just lie? Too complicated to get into, but my. god. I'm so sick of being the man in this relationship.

What I want to know is how you can come out and drop this for anyone in the world to see, then not dump this guy?

Either get rid of him or invest in a nice domestic violence beat'in stick.