Can't give her what she needs?

[Sonrisa]

you're crazy for hanging with this girl.

he is crazy period. i think he makes shit up to get attention in ALL of his threads.

[Graham Berkeley]

What point is that?

[Sonrisa]

what point is you posting? do you lack attention in your life?

[Graham Berkeley]

what point is you posting? do you lack attention in your life?

I'm confused. Are you mad I keep talking about my Ex Gf or that you are still reading my posts? Either way you are invited to not read or reply ot any of my posts. How about that?

[Graham Berkeley]

Well she called me a couple days ago. She is coming back from Italy (she was home visiting family for a couple weeks) and basically tells me she is so sorry for everything she did to me. She cried and said she wanted everything to be "alright" and that "we" shouldn't judge the other one or try to change them ect. Then she says that I shouldn't be offended if I think she is ignoring me and she doesn't want to feel guilty anymore...

Well since then she has totally ignored me... WTF?

[misombra]

i told you. you're freakin crazy for hanging with her.

[Graham Berkeley]

Ran into her last night. We went out to a club. Everything was so nice. Like how it used to be. I walked her home and before I left I asked her if she wanted to do it again sometime, like a date. She flipped out on me saying she would never "go out" with me again and that it was over and then began a diatribe of why I'm so wrong and why she is so right and why I am crazy and she is sane. She tells me she will always have feelings for me but "things are unfixable" and tells me to start over wit ha new girl. She tells me she doesn't think I love her she thinks im just lonley and thats why I keep coming back which is not the case by any means.

I ended up breaking down and crying. I felt stupid. I'm normally not that emotional. I cried like a baby. She held me and started being all nice and ran her finger through my hair. We talked a long time. Eventually she told me to go home so I did. She calls me on the way saying she wants to hear me get home safe. Both cry ourselves to sleep over the phone only for her to wake up this morning mean, cruel and cold again. What is going through her mind? Why doesn't she think I love her? Why do I keep doing this to myself?

[Gigabitch]

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

That's the only question I have any interest in addressing.

You keep doing this to yourself because you want to rewrite the story so it has a happy ending. She'll never let that happen because she's a control freak and HAS to have the last word.

Look, Graham, she's provided you with ample evidence that she is more than willing to shred you with very little provocation. A healthy response to this would be to limit her access to your soft underbelly, but you keep slinking up to her and flipping over on your back like a submissive dog because you hope she'll pet you again. Unlike an abused dog, though, you have a choice in the matter. You can get up on your hind legs and walk away. Do this or I will hit you with a rolled-up newspaper.

I swear to God, man, if you go back to her again, you deserve what you get.

[IndiReloaded]

I wish she would just stop and maybe things could be fixed.

The only thing I have to add to Giga's post (and others) is that this^ is entirely UP TO HER.

You want to fix things. That's an admirable trait. Truly. She's a dumb bitch not to understand what she has in you.

But healthy relationships require efforts from both partners. A team effort. But she's not on your side, she's the enemy. Not from your perspective, but that's where she has placed herself.

She really, really sounds very damaged and/or stupid from where I sit.

Anyway, like I said in an earlier post, she wants to blame you, guilt you. Not solve your issues. Presumably so she can feel better about whatever her issues are, at your expense. Giga's analogy about showing her your soft underbelly is spot on. She's abusing YOU. Stop letting her.

While its definitely over-suggested here, in this case I think you could do with 1-2 counselling sessions to discuss your ex. I think you'll benefit from having a professional give you their impartial view about things.

Sorry doll. I think standing up to this gal and telling her you won't tolerate her shit could be the kick in the ass she needs to stop acting like a crazy bitch. Chances are, she'll just throw it back on you, but at least you'll have stood up for yourself in the process.

Good luck.

[Petit Papillon]

She is coming back from Italy (she was home visiting family for a couple weeks)

VOILA , here it is Now we know why she`s like that

Mangiare stupido!

[IndiReloaded]

Mangiare stupido!

PP, what does mangiare mean?

(hope you are doing okay, doll)

[Petit Papillon]

PP, what does mangiare mean?

(hope you are doing okay, doll)

It means `eat `

It was a metaphore to her bitching and that he has nothing to say

I`m not a doll, I`m a butterfly

PS. And I`m doing fine,better than before Thinking positively about future

[Graham Berkeley]

Thanks for the input guys.
I don't know about the counseling... I see her go to it and all it does is give her new, doctory, words to use when shes taring me a new one. Like she is now the councilor telling me all my pysch issues.
I'll think about it though. For future reference how do you "get" one?

[Graham Berkeley]

Thought I'd post an update...So I haven't talked to my Ex in months except for business. Moved and have been focusing on my carrier and dating.

3 weeks ago My Ex sent out a bulk e-mail saying a film me, her and some friends had been working on was picking back up and she was seeing who was interested in still working on it. I replied with saying I can continue where I left off. Fortunately it doesn't require me to be around her or even talk with her. I get an e-mail back saying "I don't want you working on this film anymore. I hope you understand and respect my decision" well it isn't her decision so I contacted the director. She spoke with my Ex and told her she needed to conduct herself in a business manor and any decisions to kick anyone out would be a group decision finalized by her (the director). Wasn't to worried since some of the deciding people are good friends of mine, I thought they would stick up for me. My Ex contacted me through aim. We had a short pleasant conversation then she started in with how I need to respect her desictions and act liek a gentlemen and forget I ever worked on the film but she would give me screen credits. I informed her I had spoken to the director and that it wasn't her, my ex, decision to boot me. She flipped the **** out on the spot saying how all I'm trying to do is take from her. That she used to cherish me but all I ever do is bring drama into her life and that she never wanted to talk to me again. I let her freak out and didn't do much replying. Weeks went by and a few days before production started again I Texted my ex "Hey" trying to start a conversation where I could ask what needed to be done. She replied with "If you ever contact me again I'm filing a restraining order." WTF! So petty of her. At any rate I guess she threw a big enough tantrum. The director contacted me a few days ago and said that the group had collectively decided to find another person for my position... I can't believe my friends would screw me like this... I can't believe the director would after saying what she did... I can't believe my Ex would threaten a restraining order to get her way... WHY DID SHE E-MAIL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE THEN?!

Needless to say I feel so ****ed up right now...

[girl68]

She's your ex why are you speaking to her?